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When I become President, I will put forth a law that states that every home in America will henceforth be equipped with a full-length mirror so that people can make sure they don't look like a homeless wino before they leave. That way, we could avoid catastrophes like Bjork's swan dress, Lara Flynn Boyle's tutu, and now this bag-lady fuckup by Tom Cruise's prisoner, Katie Holmes Mopather. Granted, this wasn't a red-carpet event that you were headed to, Kate, so I'll cut you the tiniest modicum of slack for that.
Hey Hollywood,you filthy rich bastards,you have access to the world's best designers (for free), millions of dollars worth of jewels (for free) and a team of makeup artists and stylists (you guessed it, for free), and still some of you insist on looking like Helen Keller picked out your clothes after downing a jug of cheap wine. Being avant-garde is just another way of saying TOOL.
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