Oh, look; Pedophile Bait!

You’ve all seem them, those little stickers that everyone puts on the back of their vehicles, with stick figures or variants thereof that proclaim how many people and animals are in your family, in the remotest of chances that whomever is driving behind said vehicle actually gives a rat’s ass.

Often, these stickers are accompanied by other stickers like a cheerleader’s megaphone or a softball with a daughter’s name on it, a football helmet or a baseball with a son’s name on it, and another sticker or two proclaiming their kid to be some sort of educational genius at some such public indoctrination center or other.

So…unbeknownst to you lot with your familial status on your car windows, the local population of registered (and unregistered) sex offenders is gleaning all sorts of free information from you about your kids to fuel their pedophilic fantasies. Seriously.

A quick look at one of these Soccer Mom Grocery Getter Mothership Minivans will tell us how many kids are in the family, their sex, and whether or not there’s an adult male figure in the picture. They’ll quickly figure out what sports the kid plays and probably the kid’s name and even what UNIFORM NUMBER the kid wears, so they can stalk them at the appropriate local athletic fields, and at whatever school the kid attends.

You’re giving sexual predators everything they need to gather intelligence on your kids. And for you single moms out there, having no Daddy sticker also tells all manner of predatory creeps that there’s no male figure in the house to open a can of whoopass on them should they stray from the straight & narrow upon you or your kids.

Now, some of the sticker sets out there are admittedly kinda funny. Some people put a truly humorous spin on them with aliens or Star Wars stuff, and some are just over the top geeky with the Disney mouse ears or the Hello Kitty motif.

And lest we forget the ones that are just plain ridiculous parodies, like the ones that poke fun at the Fundamentalist LDS cult of Warren Jeffs or proclaim the driver to be a Crazy Cat Lady.

 And of course there’s the anti-stick-figure stick figure stickers too (yeah, I deliberately made that an awkward sentence) where people simply use the stickers to say they hate stick figure stickers. 

Some folks let you know straight away that they'll shoot you if you get up in their business when you shouldn't.

Look, if you feel safe, follow your bliss and advertise your family and their hobbies and pets and whatever proclivities you enjoy. However, you may want to think twice before you give away free info about your family, especially your children, to any & all interested parties all in the name of looking clever. While you’re at it, get a sticker with your debit card number & PIN code and slap it up there too, and maybe one with the alarm deactivation code for your home security alarm, where your spare key is hidden and maybe the combination to your safe too.

What? You wouldn’t advertise that stuff for thieves to get at? Then why give kid-diddlers and other pervbags free fap-fodder or free how-to guides on how to take your kids, brutalize them, and later wear their skin like a party hat? 

You lock your car when you get out. You lock your door when you leave the house. And you think nothing of giving criminals the means to destroy your family. Sounds legit to me...

10 kids, 7 horses, 5 dogs, a couple ferrets, 21 birds, 2 fish, and two turtles and you drive a fuel-pig Hummer. You get whatever you have coming.....