Hot For Teacher

It seems that every 6-8 weeks or so there’s a news article or story on TV about a young, fairly attractive female teacher caught having sex with some teen boy student. Occasionally it becomes a huge spectacle, like the Mary Kay Letourneau fiasco, but often it just gets a headline or two and goes away until the next scandal hits the airwaves. Actually, I think her story got more attention than others because not only did she get knocked up by the kid, she defied her parole & probation and kept on making the beast with two backs with him and got knocked up again, I do believe. I say believe, since I didn’t follow the story quite as closely as Lifetime and Oxygen did.

Recently here in SC we had a married, 29 year old cheerleading coach busted for not only banging a male student but also for taking her cheerleaders to hotels to screw National Guard soldiers, one of whom the coach was also banging. The most surreal aspect of this particular case is that no criminal charges could be filed against the adults since the students involved were 16, which here in SC means they were over the age of consent. As far as the state is concerned it was consensual sex.

A couple weeks ago a tragic story broke about a husband who shot and killed the 18 year old former student of his wife as the kid sat in his car in front of their house. Details were unavailable as to whether the wife was actually having a relationship with the kid or if he was just infatuated and doing the stalker thing, but her husband found out about their friendship and abruptly ventilated this kid’s cranium in broad daylight after calling 911.

So what’s in the water lately to cause this rash of 20-something teachers to snap and start shagging an otherwise “innocent” teen boy? And furthermore, where the fuck were these teachers when I was in school? I know that there was a serious lack of hot young teachers at Traip Academy in the mid-80’s. And when I was a soldier, there was certainly no one providing us with nubile virgin cheerleaders for morale-boosting recreational bang sessions.

So far it seems that if you dig into the stories, you’ll find a sinister common thread at the heart of the matter. It’s not the seduction during detention. It’s not clandestine meetings in motels. It’s not even dirty emails and camera-phone snapshots. This insidious parallel is that the authorities are always getting tipped off by another male student who obviously wasn’t scoring any poonanny from the teacher. And the old adage of, “If I ain’t getting any, no one else can either…” is especially brutal when it comes to sexual rivalries among teenaged males of the species. Plus, the average high-schooler can’t keep their mouth shut either. He gets his salad tossed by his English teacher, blabs to all his buddies to look cool, and the group geek, who’s tired of beating off into a gym sock to the Sears catalog, rats his buddy out to even the score. The cops swarm in like a Mossad raid on Martin Bormann’s house, and the tabloids go apeshit for a week.

Oh yeah. You can always count on your buddies to cock-block you in your moment of weakness. It’s the American Way…..