Wednesday, May 13, 2015

New stuff over at my other site

Dapper and Savvy is a dangerous combination
As you may recall, I don't just write this one blog site. In addition to maintaining a busy schedule with my day job, I'm also the author of The Savvy Guyde, a tongue-in-cheek advice blog for guys from the vantage point of the jaded older guy acting as ta Virtual Wingman. I do it as a relief from writing about politics and associated worldwide insanity and mayhem.

Recently I've expanded my scope, and started some new article series in addition to my existing series on the best in new music and highlighting the newest men's products. I have a series called Know Your Poisons where I highlight various liquors and educate the reader on how it is made and what makes it special, and offer up some cocktail recipes featuring same. And the Starvin' Like Marvin series gives some simple yet delicious recipes for easy meals geared towards the kitchen novice.

I encourage you all to go give it a look-see and peruse my archives. Join us, subscribe, ask me some questions.....I think you'll dig it.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

We've got a bigger problem now.....

And way out on the horizon, I see trouble.

When last we convened here at our favorite corner of the blogosphere we discussed how the Holy City, quaint tourist paradise and Friendliest City In The Galaxy, Charleston-by-God-South-Carolina, and the surrounding environs were doing everything possible to hush up the burgeoning crime problem in the area before the outside world caught wind of just how many people get shot here on a weekly basis. This is being accomplished mostly by ignoring it and hoping no one hears.

Instead, the local media is all a-flutter over an organized swarm of fake bums panhandling on every corner in shifts and whether they're tarnishing our fair city's image. They also seem to have the vapors over Carnival Cruise Lines docking a second cruise ship in the city for a few cruises over the summer, aghast at all the traffic and riffraff and alleged pollution spewing forth from the most modern of vessels as if they were antebellum coal-fired paddle-wheelers.

I say, Muffy, we'll gladly accept tourist money, but do keep Charleston for the Charlestonians.
Well, we've got a bigger image problem now, kids. And for the foreseeable future there's no putting this genie back in the bottle.

Shortly before lunch Saturday before last I received a notification on my phone from a local news source that an officer of the North Charleston Police Department has been involved in a shooting during a traffic stop. Sadly, many of us in the area have become so inured to receiving reports of shootings in the metro area that an officer-involved shooting was just a matter of time. In all honesty I didn't pay the notification any real nevermind. Later on I received another notification that SLED (the State Law Enforcement Division, kinda like the state's own FBI) was investigating the shooting, as they do with every officer-involved shooting. No surprises there.

The next notification was that the suspect had died. This actually did cause an eyebrow to raise because the first question everyone would ask is whether the suspect was black and the cop was white. You see, the media and the professional protesters of the world look the other way when it's black-on-black violence, and ignore it if a white cop kills a white suspect; it's barely even news if a black cop kills a white suspect, and it is quickly pushed aside.

Then the dreaded notification that indeed it was a black suspect shot by a white cop, and that there had apparently been a struggle over a Taser. And then the report that the suspect had been unarmed. Now I started to worry, because now the professional protestors, agitators, and the media was primed to make this into another Ferguson-style circus. All this powder-keg needed was a spark, and that spark was provided by a young man from the Dominican Republic who caught the shooting on video using his phone.

By now pretty much everyone who can fog a mirror has seen the video, along with the released dash-cam footage and accompanying audio from the officer's mic. I'm not even going to link to them.

Why the hell is the local TV station here in Charleston, who pretty much broke the story with the video, sourcing the NY Times for the news of the officer being charged? Wouldn't they get it right from the City?

The video is damning enough. Without so much as a "Stop!", "Freeze!", or "Halt or I'll shoot!", the officer unloads 8 rounds on a (slowly) fleeing subject and hits him five times. Four of those were minor wounds but one did go through his back and into his heart, fatally wounding him. I'm not going to make any excuses for the officer shooting an unarmed man in the back as he ran away. You simply cannot do that.

However, all the people clamoring for the officer's head on a pike are overlooking a great many things that the mainstream media doesn't want to discuss.

1. While the traffic stop was, in my opinion, a weak reasoned stop for a brake light violation, the suspect changed his story several times in talking to the officer. He was unable to produce the registration or insurance, claiming he just bought the vehicle, and then was going to buy the vehicle, and then tried to exit the vehicle. He was promptly told to remain in the vehicle. He then opens the door and hauls ass.

2. The subject had a history of failure to pay child support, but did not yet have a bench warrant out. Fearing be jailed yet again for failure to pay, he ran, thinking somehow that a moderately overweight 50 year old man was going to outrun a 31 year old in-shape police officer who had backup en route. The media and pundits are portraying him as a father taken from his children, but not that he was wanted for not paying for his kids. From what I've read he had at least ten previous arrests on his record, once for assault back in 1987, and once for possession of a bludgeon in 1991.
 He had been in jail three times over child support. In 2008, after a traffic stop in which he was charged with an open-container violation and driving under suspension, he was sent to jail in Charleston for six months for failing to pay about $6,800. In 2011, bench warrants ordered deputies to bring him in, and he spent a night in jail when he was $7,500 behind. In 2012, he spent another night in jail when he owed $3,500. At the time of the shooting he was another $7500 behind, and with court fees it would have totaled over $7800. He couldn't pay his child support but somehow had the money to be buying a Mercedes from his neighbor? Gotta have priorities. The passenger in his car also had an arrest record.
3. As the video taken by the bystander starts, one can hear the clicking of the officer's Taser being deployed. The deceased was found to have only one Taser prong in him, indicating that the Taser was ineffective in subduing him. As he turns and flees, the Taser goes flying to the ground. As the subject turns to flee you see one wire from the Taser between him and the officer. That wire hangs from that one probe and appears to have gotten caught up on the officer’s gear.

4. The media was quick to jump all over the fact that the officer picked up the Taser after he shot the subject, and that when he approached the subject on the ground he drops the Taser by the body. They pursued the narrative that he was planting evidence, ignoring the fact that about 30 seconds later he picks the Taser back up and holsters it.
Again, I'm not condoning the shooting. Not at all. But, this guy knew he was in arrears for back support, chose to flee, struggled with the cop, and fled again after an attempt to Taser him failed. That doesn't justify the shooting in my opinion, but this dude started this very bad chain reaction series of events himself and continued to move them along. In my opinion, the cop should have continued to give chase. The dude was barely at a jog. The cop had backup enroute; you can hear the sirens coming and a second officer shows up mere seconds after the shooting. You could have had a K-9 give chase if one was close by. Use of deadly force is a LAST RESORT when all other lesser methods have failed and your life or the life of others is in danger.

Of course after the shooting, a "concerned citizen" came forward to yammer on to the media about how the same officer assaulted him previously. This reliable, honest, concerned citizen also has a lengthy arrest record  of fleeing, hindering and assaulting law enforcement officers. This guy was arrested in November of 2014 and charged with Possession of Ecstasy, PWID Marijuana and 2nd Degree Assault & Battery. He is currently free on a total bond of $17,000. He was arrested for those offenses while he was free on bond on a pending 2013 charge of PWID Marijuana. He is free on another $10,000 bond on that charge. Other charges over the past few years include: Possession and PWID Marijuana and Possession and PWID Crack Cocaine/PWID Crack Cocaine near a School (multiple charges on these), Failure to Stop for Blue Light, Resisting Arrest,Various Probation Violations, Assault on Police While Resisting Arrest (multiple charges), Armed Robbery, Assault and Battery With Intent to Kill – Reduced to Assault and Battery of a  High and Aggravated Nature. Yeah, a real standup guy. I'm not sure how much credibility he has.

So, SLED doubted the cop from the beginning, wondering about a dead man with five holes in his back and 8 shell casings over 50 feet away. The video just pushed the investigation along faster and with much more concrete results.

Inside of four days, the officer was fired, charged with murder, and talks were in the works to get the department more body cameras. The City and the department acted swiftly and decisively. This should have placated the masses, and for the most part, it did. The family asked for peace and calm, and the locals obliged. But the media descended upon City Hall ready to stir up a circus and outside agitators arrived and set up shop next to the satellite trucks ready to stir up a shitstorm.

Protestors arrived (note, I said ARRIVED, as in, CAME HERE FROM OTHER PLACES) and thought to shut down traffic at various chokepoints, like the Ravenel Bridge that connects the City of Charleston to the City of Mount Pleasant. The Charleston Police and Mount Pleasant Police quickly shut them down.  At one intersection a reporter tried to interview a screaming woman with a bullhorn trying to rile up the masses into a frothy mob. She could barely cobble together a coherent sentence and told the reporter to talk to her spokesman. This guy couldn't even get the dead man's name right and used the wrong name. I mean seriously, WTF people?

Bullhorns, magic marker signs, hastily-printed shirts. Hey, nice I Can't Breathe shirt...wrong killing. Nice try though, homie.

Furthermore, I hasten to add a geography lesson to you erstwhile protestors. Blocking traffic in the City of CHARLESTON to protest what happened in the City of NORTH CHARLESTON involving a NORTH CHARLESTON city cop just serves to piss off people in CHARLESTON and involves CHARLESTON city cops in your bullshittery.  Blocking traffic during rush hour does not endear you or your cause to the good citizenry of greater CHARLESTON. Nor does marching into various DOWNTOWN CHARLESTON (not NORTH CHARLESTON) restaurants interrupting people's meals clamoring for attention. That simply makes you look like assholes. It'll also get your asses thrown in jail post haste for trespass....just sayin'.



Hey, all you "protestors" from #BlackLivesMatter, try addressing the rampant BLACK ON BLACK crime in Charleston and in cities nationwide. Or do black lives only matter when you can get on TV when a white cop shoots a black citizen? Where are you every weekend when the black on black shootings in Chicago number in the double digits?


What the hell is left to protest? The cop was fired, arrested, and charged with murder in less than five days.



And of course, The Jesse and Al Show had to come to town. Those two race-baiting clowns wouldn't miss this for the world. The family asked Sharpton to stay away and he eventually wore them down. Then Jesse had to come and mumble incoherently into the cameras. The dead man was laid to rest, and life has moved on, sort of.

I say sort of because a few of these effing protesters are still hanging around, trying to make demands (kudos to the local municipal governments who so far have refused to address those demands because, frankly, we don't negotiate with terrorists.) But these people are still sniveling for TV time and interrupting peoples' meals at our area's first-class dining establishments, such as High Cotton and Hominy Grill. (Yeah, that Hominy Grill, the one that's been featured on the food networks and Travel Channel and that all the celeb hosts rave about.)

So, they pretty much admit that the only justice they want is rioting, looting, burning, and death to whitey.
And why is it that none of the protesters are saying anything about the big black cop who handcuffed the subject as he lay there bleeding on the ground before even attempting first aid? Oh, wait, that doesn't fit your narrative.

Again, I gotta hand it to the locals of North Charleston and the surrounding environs who have maintained a peaceful posture during all of this.  They haven't rioted or looted. They let the city and the police department handle this, like rational human beings. Thank you. Not everyone acts like reasonable people; take the Baltimorons for example.

Not finding any kindling in Charleston to start a fire with, the #BlackLivesMatter crowd has now moved on to Baltimore, where a kid named Freddie Gray died in police custody recently. They incited a riot last night in from of Camden Yards, where the Baltimore Orioles play baseball. Things got so insane that at one point 15,000 people were held hostage against their will under orders of the mayor of Baltimore for their own safety. Read all about it here. Stay classy, B'more. Decades of neglect at the hands of one Democrat regime after another has turned you into a Third World hole.







Ah, yes. Peaceful protests. That certainly looks like Justice For Freddie. Bunch of savages is more like it. I'd suggest that the Justice Department look into #BlackLivesMatter, and #BlackBrunch, and their affiliated organizations as possible domestic terrorists, but that would be a moot point since the current White House administration is patently disinterested in such things. They didn't do a damned thing when Ferguson was burned to ashes, and they won't do a damned thing now. They called the shootings at Fort Hood "workplace violence" until public outcry finally prevailed. The TSA won't look at obvious suspects through profiling but instead strip searches babies and 90-year olds in wheelchairs when they aren't fondling people they've selected as attractive. I could go on, but what's the use when we're stuck with these clowns in office for another 18 months or so.


Wednesday, March 18, 2015

The Dirty Little Secrets of America's Friendliest City




As many of you long-time readers of this site will recall, I live not far from the tourist Mecca of Charleston, South Carolina. 

In October of 2014 the readers of Condé Nast Traveler voted Charleston the #1 city in the United States for a fourth year in a row. Charleston was also ranked No. 2 city in the world behind Florence, Italy, in the Condé Nast Readers' Choice Awards. Charleston earned a readers' rating of 83.792, just behind Florence's score of 83.870.

Kiawah Island was voted #1 island in the U.S. and #2 island in the world behind Palawan, Philippines. The Sanctuary at Kiawah Island Golf Resort was ranked No. 17 among U.S. resorts. Our local beaches are superb. We’re even known as one of the nation’s most dog-friendly cities.

Here in grand and glorious Chucktown, we’re known nationally as the Most Polite and Hospitable City in America. We’re a destination for foodies and history buffs. We have a world-renowned arts festival. We have a major container port and Boeing’s billion-dollar facility here builds their newest passenger jet. Business in Charleston is booming, housing is being built at an exponential rate, and people are moving here to live the good life.

But…there’s always a BUT.

Greater Charleston is hiding some dark and dirty, borderline ugly, secrets that it sure as hell doesn’t want getting out into the open and certainly not out into the Common Knowledge of the nation as a whole. And by Greater Charleston, I include not just the City of Charleston, but also the areas of North Charleston, Summerville, Ladson, Goose Creek, and Hanahan. 

I live a few miles to the left of Cottageville.

The City of Charleston area includes the Peninsula, West Ashley, James Island, and Johns Island
Peninsular downtown Charleston
Where they want you to stay and spend your ducats
 
Some cities have a real image problem. The best example I can name immediately is Detroit. The Motor City is our very own Third World city in America’s heartland. When one thinks of Detroit one can quickly call to mind crime on a scale that boggles the mind, urban filth and decay, a declining population for decades, shuttered business and vacant factories, and vast swaths of city that are now empty save for dumped corpses of murder victims and packs of wild dogs. I don’t really know of anyone with Detroit listed as their top vacation destination. The state is doing everything they can to stop the hemorrhaging of businesses and citizens out of Michigan.

Stay classy, Detroit. Yeah, baby.
 But back to the Holy City, as Charleston is sometimes called for its abundance of churches. While the Chamber of Commerce is quick to point out all of our good points and usher the masses to our touristy wonders, deep down they gotta be shaking in their seersucker suits scared to death that the outside world might start to see our Dirty Secrets. 

The official fabric of snobby white Southerners.
 
No one seems willing to publicly discuss what I think is the greater of our problems, there’s not much that can be done about the least of our problems, and attention is actually starting to focus on our newest problem as it has seemingly sprung up and grown like a malignant and aggressive tumor to blight our local image like a cancer, while the downtown residents themselves, cozy and snug in their pastel-colored McMansions, would rather focus attention on a problem-that-isn’t-a-problem.

The least of the problems to really affect tourists (while GREATLY affecting the locals) is the fact that our roads suck. For a metropolitan area of barely 700,000 people our traffic situation during the rush hour commutes is a zoo on even the best of days. Our infrastructure here was never intended to accommodate the hundreds of thousands of commuters and tourists, not to mention the thousands of trucks coming and going from the various container port terminals daily. Many are the days when it takes me up to two hours to get home from work, and that’s with knowing 8 different ways to go to avoid the never-ending litany of daily traffic accidents to make the 48-mile +/- trip home, and once I clear the worst of the traffic my final 24 miles or so can be done at 60 mph. And it still takes up to two hours. Most of the roads are in a sad state of disrepair (why re-pave? Just hot-patch it with a DOT road crew of twelve guys; one to shovel on the hot tar and eleven to watch him do it.)

The "interstate" that partially rings the city? All of two lanes for tens of thousands of cars.

Typical parking lot scenario.

Multiple accidents daily caused by some of the worst drivers I have ever seen.
This could be us, if we had more highway to clog.

Why repave? Just slap some tar on it. No one will notice.

Most of our secondary roads suck like this.
 The problem that is garnering attention right now is something I started noticing in the fall and through the Christmas shopping season and has now totally spread like mushrooms in the yard after a week of spring rains. That problem: panhandlers.

The local newspaper, the Post & Courier (which on good days is almost middle of the road and on bad days is touchy-feely left-leaning) found out that there was a Facebook group called Holy City Pan Handlers that was focused on exposing the fake bums and professional panhandlers that seemed to work in organized, rotating shifts on all the major intersections in the West Ashley area of Charleston. The P&C article worried that these panhandlers could tarnish the city’s image as a friendly tourist spot. 

The group is made up mostly of concerned locals, for the most part small business people, who are tired of being accosted at every turn by individuals who are chronically unemployed by choice, who would rather hold up signs claiming the usual litany of homelessness, single parenthood, or the best one of all, claiming to be a veteran in need. These people seem to be in many cases dropped off for their bum shifts in a white van, and are “managed” by a certain cabal of ringleaders. Many of those exposed are actively on social media and are often seen on their smart phones, despite claiming a homeless and destitute status. Many of them will often harass legitimately destitute people who aren’t in their cartel. The Facebook group is so far doing a bang-up job of bringing attention to the cause, and refuse to back down.


Damn near every major corner has a platoon of bums, both fake and real.

Homeless my ass. This is one of the ringleaders of the cartel. Always on Instagram and Facebook.

The problem-that-isn’t-a-problem that the news reported on today is a case of the well-to-do biting the hands that feed them, so to speak. The news that Carnival Cruise Lines is planning on basing a second cruise liner at the port facility nearest downtown has all the upper crust and their tree-hugger lackeys up in arms, claiming that the ship will kill us all.

They've come to destroy us all.
"On average, the typical cruise ship emits four times as much air pollution as the typical cargo ship does and that's all because what it has to power on board the ship. It's basically a small city." said Katie Zimmerman with the South Carolina Coastal Conservation League.

Environmentalists like Zimmerman are not against the cruise ship industry in Charleston; "Obviously they play a part in our overall tourism plan," said Zimmerman.

Zimmerman says the cruise ships idle for hours in port while people load and unload the ship.

"What we would like to see is have the ship plug in to what we call shore side power. So basically the ship plugs into our electric grid," said Zimmerman. 

One of four current container terminals, with another being built. None of those ships is on shore power.
 Oy vey. From having worked a couple years at one of the port terminals, the dozens and dozens of cargo ships that come in to port each week roll in on the high tide and generally leave 12 or 24 hours later on another high tide, and for the 12 to 24 hours they are dockside they run off their own power and not hooked up to shore units. The only shore power units I ever saw were for visiting Navy ships who were going to be here for a couple days or more. In fact, I saw personally on numerous occasions ships tied up at Veterans Terminal running their engines 24/7 for a week at a time awaiting cargo. So those cargo ships, many of which are old rustbuckets from second and third world nations, are burning fuel and sitting idle as they get offloaded and reloaded, for the same amount of time a modern top of the line passenger ship is pierside to embark and debark passengers. I'd trust the modern engineering and air cleaning devices on a cruise ship sooner than some of the battered old scows that float in on the tides. And as others have said, you have all the hundreds of 18 wheelers in and out every day, idling in line waiting to load and unload, and trains pulled by multiple diesel engines. And every few weeks they fire up the engines on those Military Sealift Command ships berthed by the ports and they sit idle and running for a few hours at a time. Please, people. Get a grip

Chinese freighter berthed at Veterans Terminal about three miles downriver from the cruise ships. And we know the Chinese are really into the environment and clean air, right?

I forget how many weeks this ship was tied up behind my old office without shore power.

I guess it would be overkill to point out the smoke?

Haters gonna hate. The people bitching the loudest always claim that they aren’t against tourism and aren’t against cruise ships, but the caveat always seems to be NIMBY Syndrome; Not In My Backyard. They simply don’t want the ships inconveniencing *them* where *they* live. And they swear up and down the cruise ships dump black soot from their exhausts directly onto their pristine homes despite the fact that prevailing winds at the port generally are from the southwest and take soot, et al, over the Cooper River towards Mount Pleasant, an no one hears them complaining. They’ll quote studies from Venice, Italy about how cruise ships are destroying the ancient city with their soot emissions…in fact, here is a quote directly from one of the people: 


Not saying that the freight ships are any better.... but look up the stats on cruise ships. They are awful. However, the freight ships are not disgorging all the soot, etc right into the historic district AND disgorging 3000 people at a time. If Charleston wants to continue to have cruise ships ~ they need to work on having enough facilities to accommodate all those people. People in the HD catch total strangers using the "bathroom" out in their yards. They will often knock on the door and demand to come inside. They don't seem to realize these are private residences and not Colonial Williamsburg ~ where everything is for show. (Carnival typically does not attract a higher echelon of traveler) But... just where is the city to install all these tons of public restrooms, etc???

Also, there have been studies done on the stack exhaust of cruise ships and how it affects other historic cities with sensitive architecture hundreds of years old. (Such as in Venice, Italy, etc) The acidity of some of the components is particularly damaging to very old woodwork, masonry, etc.

I think most people are not totally against the ships, they would just prefer that they build a new cruise port a bit further down the river, it would solve lots of problems. No soot on sensitive buildings (and in peoples lungs as they walk downtown), a bigger, more modern facility with lots of parking for those taking the cruises. (right now that is a major problem) Not to mention it would provide new jobs for people to ferry the passengers back and forth from the terminal to the HD and people to work in the terminal.

So...again, keep the rabble out of my yard.  And since I’ve never been able to afford to take a cruise anywhere and those lower-echelon travelers can, I guess that just makes me pond scum. Do the cruise ships create a traffic problem when they load & unload? Sure, for the few hours once a week that they do so. Actually, *anything* you do in downtown Charleston’s tourist zone will cause traffic snarls. You’re talking mostly one-way streets, back alleys, and even cobblestones on certain streets, with hundreds if not thousands of cars, thousands of pedestrians, and a few dozen horse-drawn carriages, all crammed in a couple square miles. And God forbid that it rain heavily…it floods downtown pretty badly.



Yes, these people are kayaking through the downtown Market. When it rains here, it RAINS.

I guess that leaves us with the most serious problem facing image-conscious Charleston, tourists and citizenry alike, and that would be the rampant gun crime. Is Charleston friendly and quaint? Sure, so long as you stay in the immediate downtown Market area. You go up King Street, Meeting Street, or East Bay Street past Calhoun Street and you’re in Da Hood. Accidentally stroll down President Street or Spring Street, and you’re taking your life in your hands. That, my friends, is the dirty secret that the guidebooks don’t mention. Go over to Rutledge and Ashley after dark and it’s sketchy as hell. Venture up into North Charleston and it’s a combat zone.  

The Charleston they WANT you to see, down on the Battery.
 
Corner of Aiken and Shepard Streets, barely outside the tourist zone.
 
Line Street. Not a place for tourists to be found, especially after dark.


Hardly more than a couple days go by without reports of a shooting of some sort in the area. Today it was a shooting in the parking lot of Frankie’s Fun Park, a mini-golf/go-kart/arcade center a mile or so from a large high school. A few weeks ago a gunfight broke out at Chuck E. Cheese. It’s become such an everyday occurrence that people are becoming not just inured to the violence but are actively making light of it on the Facebook page of one of our local TV stations that reports the shootings practically in real-time. 

This of course, rather than leading to in-depth reporting on what the police were going to do about the crime, or coverage on the causes or common denominators of the crimes, led to the station’s page lamenting that people were making jokes about the shootings as if the commenters on their articles were to blame for crime. THAT, my friends, prompted me to pick up the ball and run with it. 



For the past three months or so, I have regularly been making my own meme pictures and giving them a local slant, referring to the area as Chuckganistan. The pictures started taking on a life of their own, garnering dozens and dozens of likes whenever I posted them. So, I created my own Facebook page to use my own brand of dark dry humor and sarcasm, including the pictures, to point out the absurdity of ignoring our problems so the outside world doesn’t find out about them. And of course, since my own town is known far and wide across the state as a hotbed of violence and criminal activity I added the new name of Afghanaboro. The page is the Greater Chuckganistan/Afghanaboro Tourism Board, and I fully intend to continue calling attention to the insanity and duplicitous irony of clamoring for tourists and bringing more and more big companies to the area, encouraging people to move here for our quaint quiet lifestyle, while at the same time glossing over the big city problems that come with an expanding population and blighted ghetto neighborhoods blocks away from multimillion dollar homes.

The Boeing complex where they build 787's.
 
Boeing is expanding. In addition to the area mapped out below they also bought and razed the trailer park here.
 
Boeing built a billion-dollar airplane manufacturing plant here and is expanding even further. Daimler builds their vans here. A gun manufacturer recently relocated here from New York. We are drawing more and more businesses here and inviting the entire world to come visit and spend their ducats in our economy, and to drive our crumbling congested roads, dodge fake bums who by the day become more and more aggressive in their beggary, and to duck the spray of random gunfire.

Sssshhhhh…don’t tell anyone and maybe they won’t see anything.