Global Domination Through Applied Inactivity

Taking over the world by doing nothing, brought to you live from the Command Bunker at the Lightning Man World Propaganda Network....Of all the blogs you've ever read, this one is the most recent.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Already feeling the Christmas Overload...


................THE HUNT FOR BLACK NOVEMBER........................


You can, indeed, over-do a good thing.

Look, I like Christmas just as much as the next fellow, but stop cramming it down our throats. Sure, it’s hard to sometimes get in the holiday spirit of the season when it’s still 75 degrees out and instead of the snowfall of a White Christmas you have the dead brown grass of a Carolina Pseudo-Winter. But really, is it just me or did the holiday season start a hell of a lot earlier this year?

Never mind Black Friday; it’s Black November. All I’ve heard about for the past couple weeks is “Black Friday this” and “Black Friday that”. There are dozens of websites devoted to “leaked” early editions of major retailers’ Black Friday ads. Wal-Mart has changed their policy regarding stores being open to avoid trampling rushes. Used to be, in times long ago, the Christmas shopping season started the day after Thanksgiving. Now, it starts the day after Halloween.

Seriously, stores started putting out the Yuletide décor as they were taking down the Halloween gear. The smartest people out there bought Halloween costumes as Christmas gifts on November 1st at a 75% discount. I guess the economy is so utterly FUBAR that stores are desperate for business and thus started the holidays early in hopes of prying more money from our fingers.

And of course, there’s the music.

I remember getting into the Yule spirit with holiday music in the two weeks leading up to Christmas. They’d play a holiday-themed song about every 30-60 minutes, and on the 25th itself they’d play a lot more, sometimes nothing but Christmas songs from about 6AM to noon. Then it got to be where the music started right after Thanksgiving, and that morphed into at least one station in every town playing the holiday cheer non-stop, from Thanksgiving on. Now, we have a station here that started with the non-stop, 24/7, repetitive Christmas music two weeks before Thanksgiving. Thanks, Corporate Radio and Corporate America. Christmas is just another commercial venture and source of revenue.

There’s but only so many Christmas songs out there. You have your traditional songs from hymnals, like “Joy to the World”, “Oh Come All Ye Faithful/Adeste Fidelis”, and “Silent Night”, and you have the non-religious carols we all grew up on, like “Silver Bells” and “The Christmas Song” with its chestnuts roasting on an open fire. And you have the more modern holiday songs, like “Baby its Cold Outside”, “All I Want for Christmas Is You”, and “Merry Christmas, Baby Please Come Home”, and the comedic songs like “Santa Baby”, “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”, and Adam Sandler’s various iterations of his Hanukkah Song.

And since every artist on a record label feels the need to record a Christmas album when they run out of fresh ideas in order to fulfill their contract obligations of releasing so many albums, you’ll hear the same song over & over & over done by a litany or artists. Should you choose to listen to Holiday Music, you’ve got no choice but to suffer through myriad versions of the same songs over & over. We all have our favorites. Take “Silent Night”, for example…some people prefer Stevie Nicks while I prefer to hear Enya doing it in Gaelic. I like to hear Jars of Clay doing “Little Drummer Boy”, but I also like the Bing Crosby & David Bowie version, too.
Eventually I think I’ll rustle up a list of my favorite Christmas songs for my readers.

But really, am I wrong in my observations that the Holiday Season started on November 1st? The kids were still in sugar comas from trick-or-treating and the young adults were still waking up either on the floor where they drunkenly passed out the night before or in a bed next to some stranger in a Slutty Princess or Pimp Vampire suit, that they drunkenly went home with after the party and are now horrified by the ramifications, and America’s retailers were wheeling out the tinsel for the dog to choke on and the colored cheap glass balls for the cat to bat around & break.

Middle-aged America was picking up the toilet paper from their trees and older America was pondering life under ObamaCare’s Death Panels without Social Security while shoveling the remains of a burned bag of dogshit into the garden, and America’s retailers were putting the finishing touches on commercials to let you know that your family will crumble unless you get them new $500.00 cell phones or that if you buy overpriced rags made in a Third World Country at some trendy mall store, you too can be a popular, size 0, desirable person at the Christmas Party…or you could just wear the Slutty Elf and Pimp Santa suits?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Triple Crown of Venereal Disease: The Gift That Keeps On Giving



For years, the citizens of Washington, DC held the bragging rights as the Homicide Capital of the United States, in addition to being the actual capital. Then they had to share that status with New Orleans. Now I think they’re having to contend with local neighbor Baltimore. For awhile, they had the bragging rights to having a crackhead Mayor in and out of jail, but then along came Kwame Kilpatrick, Larry Langford, and others to spoil that claim to fame.

But D.C. needs a statistical superiority all its own, something her citizens can be proud of. I mean, everyone deserves to be #1 at something, don’t they?
Well, fret no longer, residents of the District. You’re now the Venereal Disease Capital of America!

You win, place, and show. You win gold, silver, and bronze. Call it the Triple Crown of Social Disease.

Washington, D.C., has the dubious distinction of beating all 50 states to post the highest rates in the nation for Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis, according to a new report released by the CDC in Atlanta. The CDC report, released Monday, is based on 2007 surveillance statistics, and was updated in 2008.

The District has a Chlamydia rate of 1,177 cases per 100,000 people, damn near three times the rate of its neighbors, Virginia (405 per 100,000) and Maryland (439 per 100,000).

Mississippi was a distant second, at 728 cases per 100,000 people. Cheer up, Magnolia State; while in 2007 Mississippi students scored the lowest of any state on the National Assessments of Educational Progress in both math and science, at least you’re a distant second in cases of The Creeping Clam.

By comparison, California’s Chlamydia rate was 407 cases per 100,000; New York came in at 458; New Mexico at 470; Utah at 377 and Maine’s rate was a mere 198 per 100,000.


For gonorrhea, D.C.’s rate was 451.5 cases per 100,000--almost twice that of second-ranking Mississippi (256.8); more than three times the rate of its neighbors Virginia (134) and Maryland (118); more than 13 times the rate of Oregon (32.5) and more than 25 times the rate of Utah (18). Again, denizens of our 20th state, take heart in being a distant second with The Clap, too.

Other state rates for gonorrhea include: 160.9 for Illinois; 134 for Texas and 88.7 for New York.


D.C.’s nation-leading syphilis rate of 24.8 cases (including both primary and secondary syphilis) per 100,000 dwarf second-place Louisiana's 16.5 per 100,000 rate and third-place Alabama’s rate of 9.7 per 100,000. It’s nearly four times the rate of Maryland (6.7).

By comparison, the syphilis rate was 6.3 per 100,000 for New York; 6.0 for California; 4.3 for Illinois; 3.4 for Virginia and 0.05 for Iowa.


Seemingly missing from the report is that trusty old standby STD, herpes. For all we know, Washington could be the leader in herpes infections too, although my own research seems to point fingers at New York City and Atlanta.

I guess what goes around comes around. After so many years of screwing the nation, Washington finally got burned…

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Hi Peter, I'm Paul. Give me all your money...



There’s just seemingly no end to the bullshittery coming from Washington. Putting proof to the old maxim of “robbing Peter to pay Paul”, the White House is looking to cut its filthy-huge budget deficit by using some unspent funds from the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP), according to the Wall Street Journal.

Members of the administration are still debating the idea, the paper said, adding that the administration would still like to keep some of the unspent money in case of emergencies. I’m sure they would…

A U.S. Treasury source told Reuters that it was shifting the focus of the TARP program toward helping small business and the housing sector rather than large banks. Maybe that’s because they already own the effing banks, and own the lending part of the housing market, and are now trying to steal the rest, along with stealing small businesses too.

"As that focus shifts, we expect to use significantly less TARP funding than authorized," the source said. "We will maintain the flexibility to deal with a future crisis, and uninvested TARP money is dedicated to reducing the debt."
In plain English, without bullshit DC-doublespeak, the Feral Gummint® wants to bail out a deficit brought about by a stimulus bailout package by funneling in money from…you guessed it…say it with me now…another federal stimulus bailout package?

The administration wants to keep some of the unspent funds available for emergencies,like pizza runs in Air Force One, and beer parties for people who act stupidly, but they’re considering setting aside a chunk for debt reduction, according to people familiar with the matter. It is also expected to lower the projected long-term cost of the program -- the amount it expects to lose -- to as little as $200 billion from $341 billion estimated in August. I call bullshit….by taking money from column A and shifting it to column B, that just moves the debt around. It’s still debt and it’s still there. Moving all of your credit card debts into a debt consolidation loan doesn’t erase your debts; it just frees up those now-paid cards to be filled up again.


The U.S. budget deficit soared to a record $1.4 trillion last fiscal year and is expected to be about the same this fiscal year as the economic slump caused tax revenues to plunge and spending soared. But fear not, kids; taxes will soon be through the roof. You name it; Obama will tax it to pay for his insanity.

I bet you didn’t know that as part of the Democrats’ imbecile health plan that they plan to tax “medical instruments”, did you? Yeah, they plan to drop about $40 BILLION in taxes on the manufacturers of medical devices over the next ten years, which means that they in turn will pass the taxes on to consumers with higher prices. That means you and me gotta pay a bunch more for medical devices to finance this FUBAR pipe dream.

And I’m pretty sure that the current outlines of the plan will change as soon as they can ram it up America’s collective ass, since that seems to be the general Modus Operandi on the administration…have the staffers write a bill that the sponsoring Congresscreature won’t even read, shove it through at warp speed so that no one gets to read it or dissect it to see what bullshittery it contains, and pass the bill before anyone can say no, usually while the nation is distracted by something else, and then the truth comes out after it’s too late.

Under the Senate committee bill, "Class I products" -- consumer products such as tongue depressors and cotton swabs -- and more complex "Class II" retail products under $100, such as thermometers, would be exempt from the tax, as well as companies with less than $5 million in annual U.S. sales, according to Senate aides. However, once they aren’t getting enough money out of us and have bled dry all the small businesses, they’ll change the rules to where things like tampons and toothbrushes will be considered medical devices. Soon thereafter, medical devices will require special licensing and user fees and governmental oversight and federal permissions.

Imagine that…a tampon license…In Bizarrobama World, anything’s possible.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

All I wanted was a cheeseburger...


When I woke up for work today at 0230 (that’s 2:30 AM for some of you), I was a bit surprised to find that Mrs. Steve had placed a copy of my DD Form 214 on my laptop next to my car keys. A DD214 is your Certificate of Release or Discharge from Active Duty (ie: Discharge Papers is the easiest explanation). Needless to say I was puzzled, until she told me that with today being Veteran’s Day, I could hop on over after work to Applebee’s and get a free meal with proof of my service.

Cool. Verrrry cool.

So I went to work and skipped my usual 8AM lunch, to be sure I had room for what I daydreamed of all morning, either a medium rare steak or a juicy bacon cheeseburger. It was pouring rain sideways all day, and a nice hot meal would really brighten my day.

Work finally ends and I fight the lunch-hour traffic idiocy on my way to my Meaty Mecca.(People here can't drive properly on dry roads on a clear sunny day. Throw in the least bit of precip, and I may as well be driving convoy in Fallujah). Finally, Applebee’s is in sight. However, there’s a glitch. The place is absolutely slammed. There’s a line out the door. I drove around the building 3 times and not a single parking spot to be found. I finally ended up over a hundred yards away on a side street in the grass. It seems that every single military retiree, veteran, and active duty body in Charleston had descended on the place. It’s 5 miles from the Air Force base and about 10 miles from the Navy base.

I waited in the car for like 20 minutes or so, waiting for the rain to let up, and all the while more and more people kept piling in. Carload after carload of impossibly young troops out for lunch. Yet another shiny new Mustang pulls up & disgorges a pair or post-pubescent defenders of democracy, dressed alike in their plaid shorts, flip flops, and Ed Hardy t-shirts. Combine their ages and I think I’m still older by a year or two. Been out of boot camp for five whole minutes, they had the day off, and they wanted their free lunch. I got up for work before basic trainees even get up, and I get an Applebee’s that looked like Wal-Mart on Black Friday.

I hate lines & crowds & rain. Defeated, I drove away dejectedly. No reward today for my Cold War service. I ended up eating a rather mediocre lunch in a deserted Popeye’s. All I wanted was my cheeseburger, and ended up with indigestion from red beans & rice.

Oh well; there’s always next year.

On the plus side, my friend Wil was able to get the day off today. One of his co-workers actually donated a vacation day so that Wil could be off on Veteran’s Day.The dude verily insisted that Wil get the day off. That’s class act, I tell ya’.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Veteran's Day 2009


As I always do each November, it’s time for me to take a minute and salute my fellow veterans.

It’s been almost 22 years since I said my goodbyes at the bus station in Portsmouth, New Hampshire on a sunny and cold January afternoon and rode up to Portland, Maine to begin my odyssey into a chapter of my life that never fully ended. You can take the boy out of the Army, but you can’t ever really take the Army out of the boy.

I am exceedingly proud of the time I spent serving our great nation. From an early age I knew that I wanted to be a soldier, at least for a while before I went on to other things. Some kids want to be firemen or cops or pro athletes or even rock stars. Not me; I wanted to be a soldier. (Okay, for a short time I wanted to be a paleontologist, but that was in the mid-70’s before dinosaurs were cool. But then a killjoy told me that I’d never make any money digging up bones, so I scuttled that dream and started over)

I come from a long line of soldiers and sailors, and I have family still in who carry on the tradition. My people have fought in many a conflict, from the Boer War to WW2 to Vietnam to the Cold War to the Global War on Terror. On one side we trace our roots back to the Crusades.

This year, Veteran’s Day takes on an even more special meaning for a couple of reasons.

Within the past couple weeks, through Facebook, I’ve been able to get back in touch with four of the guys I served with in Germany and hadn’t really talked to since 1990. We picked right back up again just like it had only been a couple weeks apart instead of 19 years, and it really says something about the bond we shared as soldiers & comrades & friends.

And of course, it’s also a somber Veteran’s Day as we reflect on the hideous, murderous, treasonous terrorist act of murder at Fort Hood.

I leave you all with a couple quotes…

"For those who have fought for it, freedom has a flavor the protected will never know..."--Tim Craft

“We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother; be never so vile. This day shall gentle his condition. And gentlemen in England now abed shall think themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. “—William Shakespeare


And of course, the poem that I first read on the wall of a classroom at the United States Army Military Police School in 1988…

I was that which others did not want to be.

I went where others feared to go and did what others failed to do.

I asked nothing from those who gave nothing and reluctantly accepted the thought of eternal loneliness...should I fail.

I have seen the face of terror; felt the stinging cold of fear; and enjoyed the sweet taste of a moments love.

I have cried, pained, and hoped...but most of all, i have lived times others would say were best forgotten.

At least someday, I will be able to say that i was proud of what I was...a Soldier.

George L. Skypeck

Happy 234th Birthday, USMC!


Wishing all of my friends and readers from the United States Marine Corps, past & present, a happy 234th birthday. Semper Fi, Devil Dogs!

"The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down..."


As a kid growing up in the 70’s, there was this one mournful song that always stuck in my head, one of those story-telling songs lamenting an untimely demise. In this case, the untimely demise was that of the bulk ore carrier Edmund Fitzgerald, lost with all 29 hands in a storm 34 years ago tonight on Lake Superior.

I was six years old at the time of the sinking, and seven when Gordon Lightfoot’s song about the ship became popular the following November of 1976. It was probably another 3 or 4 years before I realized that the song was about a real ship and a real tragedy. Twenty-nine men went to sea and never came home, men with lives and families. The youngest among them would be 56 now…

Captain Ernest M. McSorley, 63
First Mate John H. McCarthy, 62
Second Mate James A. Pratt, 44
Third Mate Michael E. Armagost, 37
Wheelsman John D. Simmons, 60
Wheelsman Eugene O'Brien, 50
Wheelsman John J. Poviach, 59
Watchman Ransom E. Cundy, 53
Watchman William J. Spengler, 59
Watchman Karl A. Peckol, 55
Chief Engineer George J. Holl, 60
First Assistant Edward E. Bindon, 47
Second Assistant Thomas E. Edwards, 50
Second Assistant Russell G. Haskell, 40
Third Assistant Oliver "Buck" J. Champeau, 41
Oiler Blaine H. Wilhelm, 52
Oiler Ralph G. Walton, 58
Oiler Thomas Bentsen, 23
Wiper Gordon MacLellan, 30
Special Maintenance Man Joseph W. Mazes, 59
AB Maintenance Thomas D. Borgeson, 41
Deck Maintenance Mark A. Thomas, 21
Deck Maintenance Paul M. Riipa, 22
Deck Maintenance Bruce L. Hudson, 22
Steward Robert C. Rafferty, 62
Second Cook Allen G. Kalmon, 43
Porter Frederick J. Beetcher, 56
Porter Nolan F. Church, 55
Cadet David E. Weiss, 22


Rest in peace, boys.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

"Ich bin beschäftigt"


Conrad Schumann bails out of East Berlin to a better life...

In a speech at the Brandenburg Gate commemorating the 750th anniversary of Berlin on June 12, 1987, Ronald Reagan challenged Mikhail Gorbachev, then the General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union:

“We welcome change and openness; for we believe that freedom and security go together, that the advance of human liberty can only strengthen the cause of world peace. There is one sign the Soviets can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization, come here to this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!”

Twenty years ago, I was in the Army; a 20-year old Military Policeman stationed 5,000 miles from home in Goeppingen, Germany. It was a great little city full of wonderful people, and I was lucky to be serving with some really great guys in my squad. At the time, Germany was still two separate countries, East & West, and Berlin was a divided city punctuated by a giant concrete wall.

All that was about to change…

After 28 years, nearly 5,000 escape attempts, and as many as 200 deaths, the East German government announced on November 9, 1989, after several weeks of civil unrest, that all East Germans citizens could visit West Germany and West Berlin. Crowds of East Germans climbed onto and crossed the wall, joined by West Germans on the other side in a celebratory atmosphere. It was one giant continual party. You could feel a palpable change in the air, and we knew the Cold War was ending and that we’d won.


Less than two months later, a massive New Year’s Eve party was held at the Wall. Nationwide, Germans partied it up while David Hasselhoff sang his hit single ”Looking for Freedom” from atop a platform, wearing a leather coat full of light bulbs and a piano-key scarf, looking for all the world like a complete douche, but the Germans loved it. I’d recently made friends with a fellow named Thomas Kaps, a former East German soldier who had defected to the west and could now safely go home and visit his mother, who didn’t even know he’d defected six months earlier. I was there in-country as a part of history. By God, as a soldier I felt proud to have been there. It was a great time to be alive.

The fall of the Berlin Wall paved the way for German reunification, which was formally concluded on October 3, 1990, about 3 months after I left Germany.

Last weekend former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl, at the beginning of the celebrations to make the anniversary of the fall of the wall, standing together with former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev and former U.S. President George H. W. Bush, said, “We Germans in our history don’t have very much to be proud of.” But he continued. “I have nothing better to be proud of than German reunification.”

On November 9, 2009, Berlin will celebrate the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall with a "Festival of Freedom", during which over 1,000 foam domino tiles over 8 feet tall will be stacked along the former route of the wall in the city center and toppled. Mega rock band U2 played a free concert for 10,000 fans at the Brandenburg Gate on Thursday night, surrounded by a two-meter high barrier wall to obscure the view of the show by non-ticket holders. How ironic that Champion Of Freedom, almighty Bono, does a show to commemorate the fall of the Berlin Wall from behind a new Berlin Wall.


And notably absent from the celebrations will be Mister Freedom Himself, B-Hussein-Obama. His Obamaness has decided to snub fellow world leader Angela Merkel and not go to Berlin for the celebrations. I find this odd; he’s a total media whore and loves to make speeches. Even if his Brotherhood of the Traveling TelePrompter can’t set up his favorite screens with a 240-volt converter, I’m sure he can borrow one while over there. Obie loves to travel to foreign lands on our dime to kiss peoples’ asses, so why turn down a trip this time? Maybe it’s because he’d be celebrating freedom and the Right’s victory over socialism in the Cold War and that’s distatseful to him?

He claims that he’s too busy getting ready for an upcoming trip to Asia, and I guess he needs to study up on who to bow to and who he needs simply to apologize to. Uber Democrat JFK famously told the locals, "Ich bin ein Berliner." On the 20th anniversary of the last century's biggest triumph of freedom, Obama is telling them, "Ich bin beschäftigt" - i.e., I'm busy. Nice way to repay that crowd of up to 200,000 that came to see you in Berlin last year, Obie, you dunce.

How's that Hope & Change working out for you, Germany? Feeling lied to? Join the club, meine freunden

Friday, November 6, 2009

I sense a great disturbance in The Force


Hey gang. I know I haven't written much the past few weeks. Been filling in for my boss, who had heart surgery. I just don't have a lot of spare time right now. Plus, working at 4AM means I'm up at 2:30 AM, before some of you on the west coast are even asleep.

Sadly, I lost two subscribers this week. I dunno why. I found it an interesting coincidence to lose two places on my "followers" list after I put up a blog in favor of gay marriage. Maybe someone got their feelings hurt that I questioned religion, or that I had a viewpoint on a certain topic that wasn't conservative enough for them and sounded too Liberal.

I assure you, dear readers, that I am NOT a Lib. I just look at certain things from a differing viewpoint. I've become a bit worn out from constantly writing about politics, and have been seeking less mentally taxing topics to write about. Perhaps I've become boring now that I'm spending less time skewering the administration?

I take my readership seriously. I've tried really hard to provide something that's entertaining & fun to read, in addition to being thought-provoking. I love the fact that my obscure little corner of the universe has grown so much this year and that I'm now associated with so many top-notch fellow bloggers.

Fear not...I have some stuff I'll be writing about this weekend that should be what you've become used to...some people have been pissing me off and I'll unload in my usual fashion.

Peace.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Maine votes on gay marriage


Most people say they’re for equality, so long as everyone conforms to what they believe in…

Well, whattaya’ know? It’s Election Day. Perhaps the Republicans will score a few victories today and begin the march towards 2012. I know that’ll sit pretty poorly with my liberal friends, but hey, most everyone knows I’m a conservative. If not, they do now.

Up in my former home state of Maine, voters are today deciding on whether to overturn their law allowing same-sex marriages. I sincerely hope that Maine’s voters vote “No” on ballot question 1 and keep marriage equality for all Mainers. I’m sure that’ll sit poorly with my conservative friends, but hey, everyone knows I’m okay with gay marriage.

In fact, I’ve written about gay marriage, or at least mentioned it, a few times in the past:
http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2009/06/didja-know-june-was-gay-pride-month.html
http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2008/06/just-legalize-gay-weddings-already.html
http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2007/10/i-hear-that-train-comin-its-comin-down.html
http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2007/05/some-stupidness-from-news.html

and my two posts for National Coming Out Day:
http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2008/10/happy-national-coming-out-day.html
http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2009/10/happy-coming-out-day-2009.html

Does this make me gay? Not hardly. I’m a devout heterosexual who happens to have gay friends and supports those same friends. You don’t catch the Gay Cooties, and hanging out with homosexual friends doesn’t turn you gay. That’s absurd. Just because a cat has kittens in the oven, that don’t make ‘em biscuits.

Does this make me Anti-Marriage? Not at all. That’s also absurd. I’m such a fan of marriage that I’ve done it twice. Didn’t quite get it right the first time, but I’m rather enjoying it the second time around.

Does this make me Anti-Family? No. I have a family, so how can I be against families?
Does this make me Anti-Christian? Possibly. I’m not gonna start stoning you in the street or beheading you on streaming internet though. I would prefer to say I’m more along the lines of Anti-Forcing-Your-Religious-Views-On-Everyone-By-Saying-God-Will-Send-You-To-Hell.

Face it, good Christians; with one face you espouse this notion of forging a personal relationship with God and that this Christian God is loving and forgiving and understanding and all-knowing and infallible, and with the other face you tell people that God hates them and they’re going to Hell.

Mmmm’kay…did the Lord whisper this in your ear via a burning bush that these people were hated? I mean sure, you interpret that from the book you like to thump about at your convenience, but hey, aren’t there verses in there too that could be interpreted as promoting slavery, too?

If God created these gay people, why wouldn’t He love His creations? Why would God hate something He created? Seems silly to create something you know you’ll hate, no?
And about that “personal relationship with God”? If homosexuality is so sinful that it earns you a ticket to Hell, then really shouldn’t that be between God and the gays themselves? Why do YOU have to mediate? Their salvation or lack thereof is between them and their chosen deity. You, as a mere mortal human, cannot bestow salvation or damnation upon anyone’s soul so stay out of it. To think otherwise, to think that you have the right to keep two consenting adults from declaring their love and receiving the same rights, privileges, and burdens that heterosexuals enjoy by mere virtue DNA programming, is folly. One could even argue that it is sinful, in that in your own prideful conceit you have the right to judge and thus withhold from another the right to marry.

Here’s a clue: they’ll still be gay whether you let them marry or not. Next you’ll be establishing Gay Gulags for forced hetero reprogramming or extermination should they fail to be what you want them to be.

And, to summarize, here’s a paraphrase of something my friend Wil wrote today on Facebook:
“A man who is notorious for cheating on his wife was featured on TV in front of a Catholic church (rallying) to Protect Marriage. Check your closet for skeletons before making such a stand. Marriage involves a lot more than just two people being married. It involves love, honor, compassion, equality & trust. That's grounds for ex-communication from the Catholic Church as well. And as a former Catholic, I can promise that Jesus Christ would never condone the use of his words or his Father's words as a way to judge, belittle, and/or segregate people. Shame on you! All you need is love!”