Sunday, August 26, 2007

Oh, them Fun-Lovin' criminals

Wow…more hard-time prison stories for celebrities this week, kids.

Noted criminal mastermind Lindsay Lohan will get to spend an entire day in jail as part of her sentencing on her third DUI, a whopping 18 months probation, and 10 days community service. Get this…she has until January 2008 to serve her jail sentence. That’s not a sentence; it’s barely a freakin’ COMMA. Her felony cocaine possession charge was dropped due to the small amount she was carrying. Awwwwww...

Again, if I was busted for coke and a third DUI, I’d be getting felt up by some sweaty freakshow named Otis in an overcrowded cell for several months, because I’m not a celebrity.

And even better….five months pregnant by Good Charlotte singer Joel Madden (this dude must really like bony chicks, since he used to bang Hillary Duff), Nicole Ritchie was sentenced to four whole days in jail for her DUI, plus 3 years probation and a couple grand in fines……and served 82 minutes in jail. Yeah…82 minutes, as in one hour and 22 minutes. Less than 2 episodes of The Simple Life.

So if we take the Big Trifecta of Criminals,(Paris, Lindsay and Nicole) we end up with barely 3 weeks of jail time for like 6 DUI’s, a couple of coke charges, leaving the scene of an accident, driving under suspension, etcetera.

Next, we need to focus on that other great Menace to Society, Britney Spears.

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