Evil treacherous American invaders of the occupation forces deliver water to the people of Haiti. (Tell you what...before you read this, you can also go check out what J-Summ had to say about things....
http://theohbamafiles.blogspot.com/2010/01/follow-up-to-bush-caused-haiti.html
and then read my first post about it at
http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2010/01/bush-caused-haiti-earthquake.html )
I got into a seriously heated exchange on Facebook this weekend over Haiti. My friend the Absolute Flaming Liberal did the usual Liberal Shuffle about Bush and Cheney and war and evil and blah blah blah when I said that I knew that somehow the Left would try & blame Bush for Haiti.
Speaking of Haiti and Facebook, it's getting outta hand, this Help Haiti stuff. If you're on Facebook, then I'm sure you're familiar with the Farmville, Fishville, and other various games associated with Facebook. If you use your imaginary money to buy imaginary special corn for your imaginary farm, they supposedly help Haiti. If you buy an imaginary fish for your imaginary aquarium they supposedly help Haiti. The Mafia Wars game has a Haitian drum and their online poker has special Haiti chips. The blog for Zynga, the company that makes these games, claims they've already raised 1.2 million dollars for Haitian relief, but I'm not sure I understand how it's working since we're using imaginary money. I mean, I have never sent Zynga a single dime but my farm in Farmviille has 14 Farmville Bucks ( I had more but "bought" an imaginary Clydesdale at Christmas for 12) and this imaginary magic corn costs 25. I only have 7 Fishville bucks so I also cannot buy the imaginary special Haiti fish for 10.
The view of the Haiti white corn market from my farm...I really don't see myself donating to Haiti at all. I'm sorry, but the shitty economy hasn't been especially kind to me & the missus this past year. Besides, in essence, we're all donating anyways.
How?
Income taxes, kids.
See, out of the $400 million dollars or so cobbled together for Haiti so far, a full quarter of it is coming from us, we the people. Where Obie's getting the money from is beyond me; I thought we were broke? I guess we're pulling it out of the standard taxpayer coffers, which means that you and me are already donating to Haiti. Plus, we're sending all these troops and planes and ships to Haiti, and who pays for that? Bingo! Us again. I've seen American helicopters dropping off 100,000 meals and 70,000 bottles of water, I've seen American C-130 cargo planes coming in. I know the first American C-17 cargo jet from right here in Charleston, SC landed the other day with half a million pounds of gear. Add to that C-17's from McChord AFB in Washington and the Mississippi Air Guard, from MacDill AFB in Tampa, Dover AFB in Delaware, and Travis AFB in California.
I get beset by these asstards who keep asking me why we have to send soldiers to Haiti like we're invading....and I have to keep from choking the living shit out of them with a strand of piano wire.
That aircraft carrier you complained about us sending? It comes equipped with helicopters, and command/control/communications setups, a full operating room suite, the ability to produce over 475,000 gallons of drinking water per day, and that evil nuclear reactor that you can hook a giant cable up to to provide electrical power to a fair-sized city.
Add to that the amphibious assault ships of the USS Bataan's Amphibious Readiness Group, which is normally supposed to be able to deploy in 96 hours but was able to get rolling to Haiti in half that time. The group includes USS Bataan, USS Carter Hall, and USS Fort McHenry, and will be supplemented by USS Gunston Hall. These ships carry even more helicopters for delivery of supplies. USS Bataan has a 600-bed hospital facility, second only to our dedicated hospital ships.
We've sent Coast Guard cutters to repair damaged piers and docks and to keep navigation and shipping going, and to keep shady & nefarious types from engaging in scumbaggery during a time of crisis when criminals might feel the authorities are distracted and occupied elsewhere.
The hospital ship USNS Comfort? She's a floating 1000-bed hospital. The ship's 550-person medical team includes trauma surgeons, orthopedic surgeons, head and neck surgeons, eye surgeons and obstetricians and gynecologists. The ship can also distill 300,000 gallons of water per day.
We've sent a fleet oiler, and two massive cargo ships full of necessities, as well as several other ships.
Why are we putting Marines and paratroopers ashore? Because someone has to maintain order in that 10, 714-square mile clusterfuck of land called Haiti. Look, I'll be blunt; that place was a goatrope before the earthquake. It just slipped from the Third World to the Stone Age in about six minutes. The United Nations thinks it's in charge, but they can't seem to find their asses with both hands. So, that leaves us. As usual.
Army Specialist Brent Nailor of the 82d Airborne hands out rations to Haitians. Further evidence that we Americans are horrible people.You liberal mental defectives, led by your hero Hugo Chavez, think we're there to invade and occupy. Bullshit. There isn't a damned thing in that country we want or need that would cause us to want to keep Haiti as a possession. But when you have an already unstable populace panicked by a disaster and a lack of central control, you now have riots over food, and roving gangs of thugs with baseball bats ready to cave in any stray head available for a bottle of water. The looting is on a scale that makes your typical Los Angeles riot look like Cub Scout Camp.
We're providing air traffic control for the airport. We're rescuing survivors. We're feeding people. We're providing at least 25% of the money and supplies, and yet there's what, 192 members of the United Nations? And of course the world has to bitch and complain and blame America for causing bottlenecks in distributing relief supplies. Yep, it's our fault if things go wrong, and everyone's else's achievement when things go right. The fucking French are lodging a protest with the UN to force us to clarify our intentions in Haiti. Fuck you, France. You just want your colony back.
Refugees aboard a C-17 being transported to Orlando. But America is bad...In addition to the governmental money, thousands of everyday Americans are donating to the Red Cross to help. There's been over $21 million in texted donations. And of course, there's Hollywood and the sports world. Of course...
There's reports that Brad and Angelina donated $1 million (and have first dibs on buying local orphans ahead of Madonna and Rosie). The NFL and NFL player's Association gave $2.5 million, the MLB gave a million, the New York Yankees gave a million because they have millions to spare, and the NBA gave a million. Lance Armstrong's foundation donated $250,000 and the NHL donated $100,000 to UNICEF. Alonzo Mourning & Dwayne Wade started the Athlete's Relief Fund for Haiti and have received initial pledges of well over $800,000 from at least 27 professional athletes, including LeBron James, Kevin Durant, Chris Paul, Michael Vick and Gilbert Arenas.
Wade's donation was a one-game salary, about $175,000. Mourning, James, Durant and Paul each pledged $100,000. Vick and Arenas want to help, I'm sure, and in doing so will get some positive press for a change that doesn't include law enforcement.
Last night's Golden Globes Awards was just a warmup act for the George Clooney Super Telethon coming up soon. Some clever soul had the bright idea to invent a Haiti Ribbon and now it's THE trendy fashion accessory. If you didn't have one on your Armani tux or Chanel gown last night, then you're just a scumbag of the highest order. Nothing says "I'm aware and I care" like pinning 25-cent scraps of ribbon on your $10,000 dress or $3000 tux.
Lisa Edelstein from the TV show "House" was asked about her ribbon, and told an E! reporter,"We're all wearing these Remember Haiti ribbons. It's to remind ourselves what's going on."
Like we could forget? The news is saturated with it. No one will let us forget it. And if you're not on the Haiti bandwagon, then you're a total pariah. If you're in Hollywood, you better have that shred of fabric somewhere on your person or you'll be ostracized. You'll never get a table in the VIP at The Viper Room without one. And if your attention span is that short that only a ribbon will keep you straight, then you need to up your meds.
Heidi Klum and Seal at the Golden Globes. Heidi's in a Roberto Cavalli gown studded with Swarovski crystals, and that 100-carat Lorraine Schwartz diamond necklace was worth $3.5 million. Nice ribbon, Seal. Is that from Jo-Ann Fabrics or from AC Moore?Former Presidents Clinton and Bush have joined forces to help coordinate relief efforts. I'm waiting for a statement from Kanye West, since he claims that Bush hates black people. How much have you donated, Kanye? I'll reserve my respect for Wyclef Jean, who returned to his native Haiti and is personally sifting through rubble by hand to hunt for survivors.
The Obama Administration has said that it wants to grant amnesty to illegal Haitians living in America. How nice of them. Pelosi already considers illegals to be true American patriots anyways.
Now that we have folks being treated on US ships, look for people to be screaming that their babies are American citizens and start demanding benefits. Hell, maybe there's something to this occupation business after all? I mean, the Dems can just say that due to extenuating circumstances all of Haiti is to be declared the 51st state, and all Haitians can get a bailout and welfare and free Obamacare. Hey, Barry; only six more and you can have those 57 states you talked about in the elections.
Always room for more, Obie. Send the SEIU down to pacify & unionize the locals, and ACORN already has them pre-registered as Democrats. You'll get your 57 states yet!
PS--Bugger off, Kanye. Just for good measure. Bugger off.
