Some stupidness from the news

I pulled some stuff from today's USA Today. I'm a news junkie and read/watch the news daily, usually morning, at dinner, and before bed.

The city council of Eureka Springs, Arkansas has agreed to create a domestic partner registry. Effective next month, same-sex and unmarried couples can pay a $35.00 fee for a document proving their domestic partnership. Opponents of the measure say it violates the state’s ban on gay marriage.

What the fuck? No one’s talking gay marriage, you ignorant backwoods Bible-thumping cretins. It’s a simple domestic partnership arrangement. Are you saying the unmarried heterosexual couples who are documented under this measure are married too? Last I knew, marriages were ceremonies performed by the clergy or by a justice of the peace. This is a registration document.

I may be mistaken, not being a Biblical scholar and all, but Adam & Eve didn’t have a preacher to perform a ceremony with witnesses, so were they married? And if they spawned the human race out of wedlock, then they were in the wrong for doing so, the vile sinners.

In Woonsocket, Rhode Island, a criminal simple assault charge was dropped against a woman accused of driving her daughter, who was serving a suspension from school, to the local middle school so she could fight another classmate. The classmate’s mother also became involved in the fight, according to police. The other mother refused to testify against the first mother, so charges had to be dropped. Perhaps it was the embarrassment of looking like a complete dumb ass that prompted the reticence to testify? This just proves that trailer trash don’t just come from the South.

And noted dickhead Congressman William Jefferson of Louisiana says an FBI raid last year on his office was unconstitutional and wants his seized material returned. His lawyer claims that while agents looked for documents related to a 16-month long international bribery investigation for allegedly accepting $100,000.00 from a telecommunications businessman, they also examined records related to Jefferson’s work as a legislator.

Sorry, pal. If the warrant was written correctly, then the agents could look anywhere that evidence could reasonably be ensconced. If I’m looking for papers that implicate someone, those papers could very well be hidden inside of other, more innocuous records and not in a bright red folder marked INCRIMINATING FILES.

You may recall that Representative Jefferson was the douchebag who commandeered a National Guard convoy to during the Hurricane Katrina rescue efforts to run him to his house so he could retrieve $90,000.00 hidden in his freezer.