Paris Hilton Revisited

I’m amused greatly by what I just read in the paper about Paris Hilton. It seems Her Bonyness is scared of jail to the point where she’s incapable of even testifying in her own deense in yet another court case. Paris is "emotionally distraught and traumatized" over her 45-day day jail sentence and is not capable of testifying in a civil lawsuit against her, according to her psychiatrist. Dr. Charles Sophy has been seeing Hilton for the past eight months and has talked with her several times since her May 4 hearing for violating the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case, according to court papers.


Sophy said Hilton needs time to recover from the shock of receiving jail time before testifying in a civil case brought against her by “actress” and diamond heiress Zeta Graff. What’s this? Dueling heiresses? How delightfully white-trash! In court papers filed Monday, Sophy said Hilton is "distraught and traumatized as a consequence of the findings at the May 4 hearing ... and her fear of incarceration." He continued, "At this point in time, Ms. Hilton cannot effectively respond to examination as a witness or provide any significant input into her defense."


Graff filed a $10 million lawsuit against Hilton in 2005, claiming that Hilton spread "vicious lies" about her. Hilton has denied that she was behind a report alleging Graff once tried to grab a necklace worth $4 million from her throat. Wow…..she was probably drunk, or just unable to support herself on 6-inch stiletto hooker shoes, or maybe weak from lack of food, and stumbled into Paris and held on for balance, thinking she was a lamp post. Wow…just think that if what Hilton said was worth $10 million, she could probably sue me for at least $50 million for how vicious I am. I know I’m by far more vicious than both of them combined.


Anyways, I find it delectable that Paris is afraid of jail. She should be. I have three years experience working in correctional environments and a total of around six years all told working in and around law enforcement, so I know from what I speak. Jail is a scary place. I certainly have a healthy fear of incarceration myself. I’m sure the “ladies” at the LA County Jail are already jockeying for position to be the first to beat her ass and do various acts of an adult nature with her scrawny hide.


But because of some serious overcrowding in Los Angeles jails, she may not have to serve the complete sentence, which I think is crap. She doesn’t take up much room and won’t really eat much. Maricopa County, Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio, known internationally as very tough on inmate-coddling, says he's spoken to the chief of jails in Los Angeles and offered to house Hilton at Tent City in the Arizona desert. Tent City looks pretty much like the POW camps that I set up on training missions in the Army.

"I just made an offer," Arpaio said. "Instead of reducing her sentence, which I feel is wrong, why not bring her over here? We can incarcerate her here. She can do her time over here." And according to the Maricopa County Sheriff’s department, the Los Angeles County Sheriff is considering the proposal. Arpaio says that while that Los Angeles County is considering his offer, Hilton’s lawyers will probably object. Gee, ya’ think?


And now, crawling across the bottom of my TV screen, it says that her ass is only gonna serve 23 days and she’ll be kept separate from everyone else. That’s BULLSHIT! That’s not jail! That’s DETENTION!