Thanks, CNN...

When these homegrown terrorist scumbags were busted last week for plotting to kill soldiers at Fort Dix, New Jersey, needless to say I was pissed. Pissed at them for turning their backs on the country that took them in and gave them a far better life than they would have had back in their respective points of origin, pissed that terrorism aimed at troops on American soil had arrived, and even more pissed at CNN, MSNBC, The New York Times, and the rest of the liberal media powers-that-be who seem to go out of their way to give terrorists new ideas and how to implement them.


My, oh my, Steve…whatever are you talking about? What is this madness you speak?

Haven’t you ever noticed that after any terror attack or, blessedly, a foiled plot, these talking head asshole “experts” flood the airwaves with features that practically point a huge glaring neon finger at ripe juicy targets, along with a step-by-step how-to guide for hitting those targets?

Some airbrushed prettyboy with gleaming teeth, perfect hair, and a smarmy used-car-salesman voice comes on with “How safe is America’s water supply from terrorism? We’ll explore the issue and just how easy it would be to poison millions, next on The Douche Report.” Then the prick proceeds to show us how he walked up to a reservoir that provides water to a major American city and dropped in a tiny vial without being spotted, and that if he were a terrorist that vial could be full of a toxin so deadly that one tube could infect and kill millions.

Or they go and show in Technicolor what we’re doing to fight terror, what weapons and tactics and strategies we’re using or developing, and who’s working on it, pretty much giving our enemies a heads-up and a how-to on ways to avoid being foiled. Just as stupid is the practice of announcing troop deployments and movements. They broadcast a fucking timetable for deployments for each unit going overseas and how long they’ll be there. Why you’re at it, give the flight number, the airline, the departure time, and the altitude along the proscribed flight path…

Soon enough you’ll show how you can bring down an airplane by hiding at the end of a runway and releasing hundreds of birds into the engine intakes or some such crap. Why not? You’ve already shown stories suggesting blowing up targets like the Golden Gate Bridge, the Sears Tower, and the Capitol Building, how to make dirty bombs, how to make biological weapons, and how to poison the food and water supplies.

Do you traitorous fucks live in some rarified, under-oxygenated La-La Land to think Osama Bin Shithead and his merry band of Raggies don’t watch American TV? Sure, he may be hiding in caves and moving around every 3 days, but I assure you, he’s watching. The dude has access to BILLIONS in funding; you think he doesn’t have a Honda generator and a plasma TV on the wall of his cave? He’s got lackeys bringing him USA Today, the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, the London Daily Mirror, and he’s watching CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, the BBC, and possibly the Daily Show with Jon Stewart to catch the monologue. I’m pretty sure he was voting to keep Sanjaya on American Idol. And if not him, then you’ve got every other froot-loop from Fatah, Hezbollah, Hamas, Islamic Jihad, and all the splinter cells in between that are picking up on the info.

People keep wondering why it’s so hard to find Osama….it’s been six and a half years, why can’t we find Osama. We have all these troops and blah blah blah ….Maybe if reporters weren’t telling the entire known universe where we’re looking, how we’re looking, what we’re looking with, and when we’re looking, we might stumble over him. Remember, half the FBI and the state police of North Carolina spent millions of dollars and man-hours to find clinic-bomber Eric Rudolph over a span of what, six years? And they only got the guy after some bumpkin town cop saw what he thought was a homeless dude dumpster-diving and decided to bust his balls over it.

So the next time some headline screams about troop deaths or terror bombings, or some pompous ass on TV points a finger of blame somewhere, remember that they’re just as much at fault in this, and there’s blood on their lily-white hands too. And when Osama turns up busted by some part-time militia dude who herds goats when he’s not in uniform and who was gonna roust this bum living in the cave where he takes his on-duty nap, don’t say I didn’t warn you.