Picking Our Next War via Magic 8-Ball

Let me be clear. I won't know where I send troops until I see it on TV.

So, here we are after a decade of America's finest sons & daughters coming home in metal boxes draped with a flag, a flag later dutifully and solemnly folded and handed to a grieving family member with the thanks of a grateful nation, and John McCain and other alleged Great Men are shaking dice in a plastic cup like a Yahtzee Game  or looking at a Magic 8-Ball to see where we'll send troops next.

Steve, you sound like a pacifist. What the hell? That's not like you.

Me, a pacifist? Not bloody likely. I love seeing Bad Guys get a beat down courtesy of the best warfighters the world has ever known. But as a former soldier I am keenly aware of what it's like to be a pawn of Great Men and being the pointy end of the spear. No one longs for peace like a warrior, for the warrior is the one who has the most to lose in war.

What fresh Hell is this? If it's Wednesday it must be Asscrackistan...

 I'm okay with US troops being deployed to hot spots to protect American citizens in danger or to assist good, solid, proven allies in protecting their people. I'm okay with sending US troops to help after a disaster like an earthquake of tsunami. I'm not okay, however, with just sending troops in pell mell every time some Third World crap hole country with a tin pot dictator or Jihadi government says "boo" to us or thumbs its nose at the impotent United Nations. Worse, I am most certainly sure as hell not cool with sending troops into harm's way to satisfy some politician's need to use troops to extend his penis and garner what he thinks is gravitas points.

Hi ho, Hi ho...it's off to war we go. With guns and blades and hand grenades, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho...

I find it ironic that John McCain, the RINO with the biggest horn in Washington, likes to gut immigration reforms that leave our borders unprotected but hawkishly calls for us to scurry into Syria to help topple their government like that's going to make us more secure. Even more ironic is that as a guy who spent years as a POW getting the crap kicked out of him he's always willing to send in the troops if it makes him look more like a prototypical Republican, especially when he needs to score points with Conservatives after he does something progressively liberal to appease potential voters who just vote Dem anyways.

Yeah, after a decade of Americans fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan with few tangible results in our favor we've just recently sent a couple hundred troops to Jordan to curb Syrian violence (It hasn't worked) and now Capitol Hill wants to send in more troops and send in arms shipments to equip the rebels. But last time I checked, we were under a sequester, right? They cut military spending because all those babykillers and evil war mongering knuckledraggers are just a drain on the coffers of polite society when that money is better served on welfare and food stamps for baby-mommas and generational lagabouts who vote Democrat because the Dems keep handing them free money.

I digress.

But if we're cutting military spending, with troops seeing tuition assistance cut and public affairs events like annual airshows cancelled, with thousands of federal employees losing hunks of their paychecks due to furloughs, where the hell is the money coming from to magically deploy troops for Syria? Why are we able to cobble together billions in military aid packages to an anti-American Islamist government in Egypt or billions for Pakistan, a country known to harbor Islamoterrorists, a country we routinely drone-strike because of it?

We cut money and punish the military when it suits the whims of politicians and then deploy them to satisfy the whims of politicians. We have troops deployed all over the place and while most of the locations are well-known spots like nearly 30,000 in Korea or 35,000 in Japan or 55,000 in Germany or 20,000 in Italy, or 6,000 or so in Panama, maybe 5,000 in Guam, there are a dozen or more that are less known.

We have a thousand or so people in Cuba at Gitmo even though Obeezy closed it when he took office as promised. Oh wait...no he didn't. He couldn't because we kinda need it to keep scumbags off the streets. We keep 500 or so troops on a rotational basis in Honduras as part of Joint Task Force Bravo. We've got 700 or so out in the Philippines chasing down Islamists there. We have over 3,000 in Djibouti coordinating drone strikes and Special Ops missions. We have at least a hundred in Niger to help the French fighting Islamists in Mali by doing drone recon. For the past year and a half we've been rotating about a hundred Special Forces advisors in and out of Uganda at a cost of about $4.5 million a month to operate in Uganda, South Sudan, Congo and the Central African Republic, helping to eradicate Joseph Kony's Lord's Resistance Army terror group.

There are already over 1,000 Marines from the USS Kearsarge amphibious group in Jordan on a training exercise, along with 4,000 more from the Army & Air Force, many of whom will be staying behind with their F-16s and Patriot missile batteries after the exercises are over at the behest of the Jordanian government.

We're all up in the 'Stans....Good old Afghanistan, of course, with about 70,000 or so pairs of boots on the ground in addition to Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, Tajikstan, & Turkmenistan.....plus Turkey, Qatar, Oman, Bahrain, Diego Garcia, Saudi Arabia, Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates, Kuwait, and that good old standby, Iraq. We still have some people in Iraq, even though the average low-information Joe & Jane Voter thinks we completely pulled out. News Flash: while we stopped combat operations there ostensibly and pulled out the majority of our troops in order to continue grinding them up in Afghanistan, things in Iraq have just gone back to random bomb attacks on civilians between rival groups just like the Bad Old Days.

Oh, yeah, before I forget, Nobel Peace Prize Winner Messiah Obeezy (Blessed Be His Name) also has troops at bases on the borders of Bolivia in Chile, Paraguay, and Uruguay to hunt for drug lords or something like that.

Yeah, we have boots on the ground in more countries than WalMart does, only they're turning a profit doing it while we're pissing away billions to countries that hate us and we're pissing on the countries that actually still do like us. We're over-taxing our troops and wasting resources and giving away billions to be later used against our own people.

Meanwhile, the Obeezy Family is dropping $100 MILLION in our money to vacation in Africa and Ireland and Germany. Another vacation. Another damned vacation. I haven't had anything more than a long weekend away from home since 2007 and those assholes are on ANOTHER mufti-million dollar vacation. In the middle of a sequester. When we're 17 TRILLION in debt. While Americans are still dying in Afghanistan. (But Americans dying overseas is no big deal to Obama. Look at Benghazi...)

But Obama won't know he's on vacation till he sees it on the news, I guess.

Hard Times....

Let's see.....

In 2009 your net income was about $5.5 million dollars. That's on top of spending the majority of that year living free in a 132-room mansion with a staff of servants and chefs that bring you Wagyu beef and fly you everywhere in a private luxury jumbo jet.

In 2008, you only made about $2.6 million.

In 2007, your reported net income was $4.2 million.

In 2006, you reported $991,296.

In 2005, you reported almost $1.7 million, and for several years before that you struggled to get by on around $250,000 a year. Somewhere in that time ya'll bought a 1.5 million dollar home in the Chicago burbs.

Life's a bitch, ain't it homie?

If I take our last five years' worth of tax returns and combine them, I still don't break the $250,000 mark that you enjoyed in an average year, so don't come crying to us on TV about how you've had hard times, too.

No way, homie. I know people who have been on hard times.

Hard times are when you have to send a car back to the bank after only 4 payments & screw your credit rating up because one of you loses a job when their company folds. Hard times are when you snag the coupons out of the newspaper that comes to your jobsite to save extra money without buying a newspaper full of bad news & lies.

Hard times are when people are grateful to have their unemployment extended to 99 weeks because they apply for ten jobs a week and send out 10 resumes a week for a year and a half with no results. Hard times are when employers have dropped wages to the point where you'll LOSE money by taking the one menial job you got offered because it pays less than you were making on unemployment.

Hard times are when the government shuts your industry down to fulfill an agenda. Hard times are when you find yourself sneaking rolls of toilet paper home from work to free up money for the light bill. Hard times are when you get stuck doing the work of two to three people because they won't/can't hire anyone to help you or because they let so many people go that you have to pick up the slack. Hard times are when you can't complain to management about work conditions because they'll just fire you and replace you with someone who'll be grateful to do it for less money and longer hours just to have a job. Hard times are when you have to force yourself out of bed to go to a job you hate, working for people you're smarter than, because at least you have a job and the alternative is worse.

You're on your, what, fifth, sixth, vacation in the last 3 months? I haven't taken a real, honest-to-shit VACATION trip in 10 years. My wife and I have been lucky at best to get a long weekend roadtrip in once a year. My vacation days are really just staycation days where I don't have to go to work. You act like spending 36 hours on the Gulf Coast Redneck Riviera is a hardship, and that creature you married must be sooo jet-lagged after spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on her Marie Antoinette Tour of Spain. I guess after all this vacation time you'll need a vacation in.....Marxist Vineyard. Yup, headed to Massachusetts as soon as you can get away from those vile, evil, blue collar Red Staters down south....

And trust me, I have never (and likely never will get to) enjoy anything with the name Wagyu associated with it. However, if I wanna skip a car payment & risk repossession, I can get a special raised-in-Australia Greg Norman Signature Wagyu Steak Selection from the Saks Fifth Avenue website....and get two 12-ounce strips, two 12-ounce ribeyes, and two 8-ounce petite filets for a mere $300, overnighted to me.

Bury my Uterus at Wounded Knee

America’s second-biggest media whore, after Al Sharpton and just above Jesse Jackson, is at it again. Cindy Sheehan, the peacenik protester mom whose son was killed in Iraq five years ago and hasn’t stopped spinning in his grave since, has decided it would be in her best interest to stalk a newer President.


Once famous for her non-stop constant stalking of President Bush to get on TV, um, I mean protest the war and lay the blame for her son’s death solely at the feet of Bush (as if the insurgents had nothing to do with it), Uber-Flake even went so far as to bury her uterus in Crawford, Texas near the Bush ranch. Seriously. Really. She had a hysterectomy and some medical professional suffered a serious lapse in judgement and gave the women her freakin’ yew-ter-us…….and the loonbag buried it near Bush’s house so that her DNA (and thusly her son’s) would forever be a part of Crawford to haunt Bush.

(Insert Twilight Zone theme here)

And here we are, with Obie & Company getting ready for still another va-kay, as if the one last week out west wasn’t enough; Cindy’s Traveling Freakshow Menagerie is descending upon Mecca’s Vineyard, where The Holy Family is renting a 20-million-dollar farm. The hoity-toity bluebloods on The Vin-yid will just loooooooove this farce.

A statement on Sheehan's blog says she and "other like-minded peace activists" want to remind Obama "the body bags aren't taking a vacation."


Perhaps they’ll be labeled an Un-American Angry Mob? Hopefully not…I don’t wanna get lumped in with them. Nahhh, likely they’ll get invited in for a beer and some Wagyu lobstahs. It’ll be wicked cool.

.............Like all good Americans, she hung out with Hugo Chavez...

Obama's Upcoming Playcation

Let me preface this by adding new words to your vocabulary. You'll be seeing them all over the place soon. Start using them. Make me famous.

1.Isleft (Iz′-left)-noun; The religion of being a left-leaning Liberal.
2.Musleft (Muz′-left)-noun; A follower of Isleft.
3.Kennedylah (Keh′-neh-dee-lah)-noun; The holy diety of Isleft
4.Mecca’s Vineyard—One of Isleft’s holy places
5.Hate Assbury—Another Isleft holy site

There comes a time in every young Democrat’s life when, like a devout Muslim, they feel the need to make the sacred pilgrimage to one of The Left’s holiest of holy places. Instead of making the Haj to Mecca, they make a vacation trip to Martha’s Vineyard.

Once there, they visit such shrines as The Holy Kennedy Compound to worship the Great Family. They leave flowers at the airport at the Shrine to Saint John John, who perished whilst flying to the island. And they leave Chivas Regal bottles at the Chappaquiddick Bridge in hopes that Saint Ted (Patron Saint of Foppery) will magically allow them to get away with any and all crimes scot-free.

And as devout followers of Isleft, making a return trip to Mecca’s Vineyard is the Obama family.

President Obama and the first family (and no doubt accompanied by countless strap-hangers) will rent a scenic farm house on Martha's Vineyard for their vacation during the last week of August.

The Blue Heron Farm, located on the island's western end in Chilmark, is a sprawling 28.5-acre private residential compound with a five-bedroom white Victorian farm house, and three other dwellings, including a reconstructed Pennsylvania hay barn and Vermont shed, an apple orchard, swimming pool, golf practice tee, basketball half-court, and a basement movie theater. It has ocean views, private access to a stretch of Squibnocket Beach, and a private dock with kayaks and a yacht.

Wow. All I got was a half acre, a small brown house, fire ants, crabgrass, and a living room theater consisting of a DVD player and the DVR hooked up to Dish Network.

Though the cost of the rental has not been disclosed, island rentals comparable to the farm rent for between $35,000 to $50,000 per week, according to sources who know how the idle rich operate.

The farm was purchased for $20.35 million by owners William and Mollie Van Devender (prominent Republican supporters) in 2005. At the time it reportedly was the second highest price paid for a single residential property in the history of Mecca's Vineyard. This could be the first & only time during the Obama Reign that Republicans will see any money come their way. The farm's previous owners, wealthy real estate developer Tony Fisher and his wife Anne, hosted a lavish dinner party there for Bill and Hillary Clinton in 1998. The Fishers died in a plane crash in 2003, part of a laundry list of people connected to the Clinton’s to die (Go look up “Clinton Body Count” on Google).

Oh, boy! Know where I spent my time off last month? My house. Why? Because in this crapfest of an economy, I couldn’t afford the luxury of going somewhere exotic & cool. And I’m certainly not alone. Most of America, if they get to take any time off at all, is doing the Staycation thing. A lucky few thousand, however, get to take an extended trip to exotic places like Afghanistan or Iraq, while our Dear Leader is shuffling off to a house so exclusive that people like us wouldn’t even be allowed to cut the grass there.


You’d think that with so many millions of people unemployed, and millions more living hand to mouth, paycheck to paycheck, that he’d have taken a lower-profile break at Camp David. (You know, that place specifically set aside as the presidential recreational facility?) We’re paying for a vacation spot that he ain’t using; I hope to hell I ain’t paying for this farm, too. I’m already paying for all the staff and entourages and security people.

I’m sure they’ll feel obligated to throw at least one shindig at the farm. Maybe they’ll invite Gates & Crowley, America’s newest bosom buddy Odd Couple, over for beers too, since they’re both just a couple hours away. In addition to a choice of frosty beers, I’m sure Michelle will have the galley scullions whip up some Wagyu beef burgers. And after dinner everyone can play pin the tail on Joe Biden.

While Rome Burns

The economy is in the shitter. People are without electricity due to winter storms and freezing their asses off on Christmas. Half of Detroit is outta work and the other half is worried that they’re next because the Big Three automakers are circling the drain. But in the midst of all this, Messiah-elect Obama is able to romp shirtless in the surf vacationing in Hawaii, relaxing in a 5,000 square foot $9 million dollar vacation home, part of a $30 million dollar enclave.

Yeah, I know he ain’t the President yet and there isn’t really fuck-all that he can do, but it just looks shitty for him to be golfing and romping about while the poor huddled masses that elected him suffer back on the mainland. He should have stayed the hell back in the Chicago area in his $1.5 million dollar McMansion being all supportive and shit, smiling and making nice for the cameras and promising us “change”, since “together we can”.

Together we can, indeed.

Together we can watch Baywatch Barack kickin’ it on Oahu.

Bad tool, no donut.