So...WTF has Obama Done?

Brain bleach. Someone please get me some. I dunno what will cleanse this dreck from my retinas.

As part of my continuing series, "Conversations With Liberals", today I gotta highlight a website that has spread through my liberal friends like cholera through Port Au Prince; quick & nasty & with bad results.

The website in question is called, literally, What The Fuck Has Obama Done So Far? There is also a PG-rated version you can click on. The website was created by Leftists for Leftists to make them feel better about the fact that all their Obasessiah has accomplished is CRAP. Each little factoid is backed up with a link, and those links aren't from independent sources, but rather from the Left's own propaganda machines, mostly the NY Times and Obama's own website. Like those won't be biased? Puh-leeeez. Oh, wait. There's also Wikipedia, a site that anyone can edit an article in. It truly has to be seen to be believed.

I'll give you the meat & potatoes and then the rebuttals:

1. Signed the Weapons Systems Acquisition Reform Act to stop fraud and wasteful spending in the defense procurement and contracting system...(linked to Wiki)

All Obama did was sign it. The bill passed both houses unanimously so it wasn't like he could just veto it. And with Obie canceling the procurement of more F-22's and the different branches canceling orders for MRAPs, how many new systems are we trying to procure that weren't already budgeted....I forget when appropriations went through for the F-23's, and any of the new ships on the ways.

2. Issued Executive Order to close the prison at Guantanamo Bay. (cited through CNN)

And? It's STILL OPEN FOR BUSINESS. Two years after he takes office, it's not closed yet.

3. Ended Bush administration's CIA program of 'enhanced interrogation methods' by requiring that the Army field manual be used as the guide for terrorism interrogations. (cited through CNN)

You mean the Renditions Program started under the Clinton Administration, right? Or the programs that were giving us valuable information about terror cells and insurgencies that the namby-pamby Leftists don't have the stomach for? They'd rather us just ask nicely of the poor misunderstood peaceful Muslims why they hate us so....

4. Increased minority access to capital (cited by the Small Business Administration)

Whoopty shit. Why not increase it for EVERYONE? Oh, wait...your theory on this isn't to help minorities; there's gotta be something in it for you. You help minorities because you play the victim/entitlement card and make them feel they can't do anything without a government handout and that they are entitled just for being a minority, and thusly are indebted to your Leftist causes and will vote "D" in every election. Y'know, letting people who couldn't afford to buy houses get sub-prime loans was what caused the Fannie/Freddie Debacle.

5. Established Credit Card Bill of Rights, preventing credit card companies from imposing arbitrary rate increases on customers (Cited through Politifact)

So you're giving him credit for something that was actually authored by a different Democrat starting in 2007? Yeah, Obama just signed it after Maloney authored it. And don't forget those caveats, kids. This forces credit card issuers to do more variable-rate cards instead of fixed-rate cards, and there is no advance notice needed on variable-rate cards or those with low introductory offers. Rate-raising protections don't apply when banks issue new cards. The 45-day notice on fee increases and rate changes don't ban those fees, and consumers can expect more of these fees to offset lost revenue. Annual fees, balance-transfer fees, and account-inactivity fees will start to hit you. Read more here.

6. Health Care Reform Bill, preventing insurance companies from denying insurance because of a pre-existing condition. (Cited through the NY Times blog section)

Are you kidding me? This is an open-faced shit sandwich. Tie up a huge percentage of our entire economy to bring you "free" gubmint healthcare from the people who can't keep the price of stamps from going up every 6 weeks and who can't run Amtrak, wanna run healthcare like the DMV. Yummy.

And while they can't deny you coverage for pre-existing conditions they'll either go broke paying for this or they'll screw everyone with lower quality care to pay for it.

7. Health Care Reform Bill, allowing children to remain covered by their parents' insurance until the age of 26 (again, through the NYT blogs)

So you're an adult at 18 but can still suck off the parental teat till 26? Why not 30? Why not 45? Why should we ever stand on our own? We should be forever under someone's protective umbrella.

8. Tax cuts for up to 3.5 million small businesses to help pay for employee health care coverage (Cited through NYT blogs)

Horse shit. How many small businesses will go under trying to pay for mandated health insurance or by paying fines when unable to provide it? These same alleged tax cuts that will be swallowed up when the Bush tax cuts expire in a couple months and taxes go back up?

9. Tax credits for up to 29 million individuals to help pay for health insurance (NYT blogs again)

Where? How? You're effectively RAISING taxes by sunsetting the Bush cuts. How many of those 29 million are illegals? How many actually pay taxes or are already on free healthcare?

10. Expansion of Medicaid to all individuals under age 65 with incomes up to 133 percent of the federal poverty level (cited through NYT article)

So lower the poverty bar and include every swingin' dick out there so the system, already brok, broken, and overloaded, can be bled dry?

11. Require health insurance plans to disclose how much of the premium actually goes to patient care (Cited through NYT blogs)

Because profit is evil and people need to know that some of their premium goes to pay for profit, and for nasty things like paying the people who actually work for the company, and for paying for mooch-asses who don't pay their bills, and paying for under-insured and uninsured people.

12. Added 4.6 billion USD to the Veterans Administration budget to recruit and retain more mental health professionals (cited through VA website)

This sounds good on paper. But how much of that is retaining (ie: paying them what they're worth) and how much is wasted advertising and ball-stroking, travel, and overhead to recruit?

13. Significantly increased funding for the Violence Against Women Act (cited through a DOJ website.

The longer I stared at the website's chart the less sense it made. I really didn't see where anything was signifigantly increased, so I withhold comment at this time.

14. Lifted restrictions granting Cuban Americans unrestricted rights to visit family and send remittances to the island (cited through NPR)

So you just said OK to Americans sending their own money to Cuba and stimulate the communist economy?

15. Eliminated subsidies to private lender middlemen of student loans and protect student borrowers (cited through Smart Money's website)

Dude....the government took over the student loan industry. The eliminated the middleman by BECOMING the middleman.

16. Increased funding for national parks and forests by 10% (cited through the NCPA website)

Since a picture is worth a thousand words:

17. Significantly expanded Pell grants, which help low-income students pay for college (Cited through NYT blogs)

The government took over the student loan industry. Now even more kids will owe the government money. And make sure you pass them free Pell grants out to gets more potential Democrat voters into liberal indoctrination schools. Join the Army, kids, Build character and leadership skills and get real world experience and your own college money.....

18. Expanded hate crime law in the US to include sexual orientation through the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act (cited through HRC website)

Sadly this still hasn't stopped bullying and violence against gay kids. By the way, that law was tacked onto a defense-spending bill to force it through. The bill was also introduced in the 107th Congress, under the Bush Administration, and Obama takes the credit?

19. Provided stimulus funding to boost private sector spaceflight programs (cited through the Commercial Spaceflight website)

That's because NASA is instead practicing Muslim Outreach to make them feel good about their contributions to science...like the field of bomb-making. Now stimulus money goes to backyard crackpots to make home-made UFO's for their kids to fly off in on CNN to get you on reality TV like Balloon Boy....

20. Appointed nation's first Chief Technology Officer (cited by the White House website no less)

Oh Goody! Another Czar with vague job duties, paid for by you and me, with no Congressional approval or vetting or oversight.

21. Signed financial reform law establishing a Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to look out for the interests of everyday Americans (Cited through CBS News)

Again, more government and another Czar. With the economy still in the shitter, and gas prices going up, and prices on clothes and food rising, I don't feel very protected. Do you?

22. Signed financial reform law prohibiting banks from engaging in proprietary trading (trading the bank's own money to turn a profit, often in conflict with their customers' interests) (Cited through CBS News)

Again, profit is evil and must be stopped by governmental intervention and legislation and outright takeover by the government.

23. Signed financial reform law allowing shareholders of publicly traded companies to vote on executive pay (Again from CBS News)

The government must tell executives how much they can make, if anything at all....bonuses will be met with punishment.

24. Cut prescription drug cost for medicare recipients by 50% (from Government Track's website)

Another confused web page full of gobbledygook. Just go to WalMart and get the 4-dollar drugs. And I thought Medicare was picking up most of the tab on this stuff anyways? Maybe I'm wrong. I dunno. I'm not on the system.

25. Provided $12.2 Billion in new funding for Individuals With Disabilities Education Act (cited through the US Dept. of Education site)

Another confusing web page full of numbers and citations and listings, without saying what the money will actually do.

26. Extended Benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees (cited through the White House website)

I have no problem with this but I have to mention that in the memo on the site, it stated that they were basically going to review everything to see what could be extended to these partners, which kinda leaves the window open to start hunting for entitlements to anyone for anything. If the employee lacks a partner do we just extend the benefits to their siblings or parents? I mean, if we're gonna start hunting for people to extend benefits to...I quote Obama:" I directed the heads of executive departments and agencies (agencies), in consultation with the Office of Personnel Management (OPM), to conduct a thorough review of the benefits they provide and to identify any that could be extended to LGBT employees and their partners and families..." See the open-ended nature of the wording? Yes, partners should receive benefits the same as spouses, what's the criteria of partnership? How long do they need to be together to qualify?

27. Appointed more openly gay officials than any other president in US history (cited through the Washington Times)

Okay, I'm cool with that too, as long as they were the best qualified people for the job and not just window dressing to get the gay vote.

28. The American Recovery & Reinvestment Act of 2009: a $789 billion economic stimulus plan (cited through the Government Printing Office's PDF file of the bill)

Oh My Gawd: The Succubus Package? You expect me to applaud that financial clusterfuck?

29. Created more private sector jobs in 2010 than during entire Bush years (cited through some no-name bullshit home-grown liberal "news" website called The News Junkie Post)

Are you high? Insane? Or just stupid? I won't even waste my time on this word-vomit.

30. Voluntary disclosure of White House visitors for the first time in US history (from the White House site)

Yeah...beer summits, extravagant Wagyu Beef dinners for a Mexican president who talked down to us while addressing Congress, shoving the Dalai Lama out the side garbage doors into an alley.....

31. Appointed first Latina to the US Supreme Court (cited via NPR)

A liberal mouthpiece with an agenda to legislate from the bench? The Wise Latina herself? Please.....

32. Promoted social responsibility through creation of serve.gov, a national database of volunteer opportunities (from the Serve government website)

Hey, you're unemployed so why not just do our bidding on social labor schemes? Build us a dam, or a new Autobahn...or start building the new Gulags....

33. Reversed 'global gag rule', allowing US aid to go to organizations regardless of whether they provide abortions (cited through the UK Guardian)

So we can pay for abortions in other countries with taxpayer money?

34. Signed the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act, giving the FDA the authority to regulate the manufacturing, marketing, and sale of tobacco for the first time (cited through yet another governmental PDF file)

Yes, by all means, the Nanny State needs to spend time & money to babysit our habits. More laws & regulations because people can't be trusted to make their own decisions or raise their own kids.

35. Signed New START Treaty - nuclear arms reduction pact with Russia (cited via NY Times)

Obama sold out our allies in Poland by knuckling under to Russia's demands to not have a defensive anti-missile system in place to protect Poland while Russia started sending nuclear bomber flights everywhere again. Meanwhile Russia started working on new missile systems. Funny how the Polish President and entire cabinet ended up dead in a plane crash too.....

36. Increased average fuel economy standards from 27.5mpg to 35.5mpg, starting in 2016 (cited via Washington Post)

Well, gas prices keep going up in the Obamaconomy, so we might need more MPG. Meanwhile this forces manufacturers to make teeny tiny potentially unsafe vehicles and pass on the R&D costs to us....but now you own half the car manufacturing in America so that boosts the government's bottom line. And in return we get the Chevy Volt? If you can afford a $41,000 car that gets 50 miles on a charge at best then you don't need the government subsidy do you? Yeah, they bribe you several thousand dollars to buy this electric lemon that mostly runs...on....GAS.

37. Signed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, restoring basic protections against pay discrimination for women and other workers (cited via Wiki)

So you once again endeared yourself to people who feel disenfranchised to buy their votes. Women and other workers? They're either women or men, dumbasses...Not like there are too many choices here.

38. Provided travel expenses to families of fallen soldiers to be on hand when the body arrives at Dover AFB (from the NY Times)

And well you should. However.....see the next one.

39. Reversed the policy of barring media coverage during the return of fallen soldiers to Dover Air Force Base (from the BBC)

So you fly the family out so the media jackals can film it like a big sad spectacle? Shit heads....

40. Launched recovery.gov to track spending from the Recovery Act, providing transparency and allowing the public to report fraud, waste, or abuse (from Recovery's website)

How many lies can we roll into one sentence? Transparent my ass. Yeah, the only truth here is that you created yet another governmental agency and payroll to further your agenda....

41. Signed financial reform law requiring lenders to verify applicants' credit history, income, and employment status (from CBS News)

Was this before or after Breitbart exposed ACORN?

42. Signed the Children's Health Insurance Reauthorization Act, which provides health care to 11 million kids -- 4 million of whom were previously uninsured (from The Middle Class website)

Put more people on the government teat. If only 4 million were uninsured, then why the fuck do the other 7 million need MY money? They obviously had coverage, no?

43. Issued executive order to repeal Bush era restrictions on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research (from the UK Guardian)

Okay. You got me. I'm okay with this as long as you aren't breeding a fetus to harvest the stem cells and then aborting it after you get what you want from it.

44. Signed the Christopher and Dana Reeve Paralysis Act, the first piece of comprehensive legislation aimed at improving the lives of Americans living with paralysis (from the Reeve website)

Why do we have to have laws to force us to do what we should be doing on our own anyways?

45. Developed stimulus package, which includes approx. $18 billion for nondefense scientific research and development (from NY Times)

Well, that's pretty damned vague. You have to read the article to see what this means.

46. Provided the Department of Veterans Affairs with more than $1.4 billion to improve services to America's Veterans (from VA website)

Again, I say, and well you should. Try not to botch it, since the same website cited showed that in FY 2009 you only met 64% of your Performance and Accountability targets.


I apologize if this all seems dry as toast and nitpicky as hell. But I refuse to knuckle under to Leftist propaganda, especially amateur shit like this.

Beware the Toilet Paper Czar

In one ear I have Jason Bateman telling me not to flush my toilet. In the other ear I have Sheryl Crow telling me to swab my O-ring with but a single square of sandpaper.

They can have my plush toilet paper when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

The Enviro-Nazis are at it again, this time attacking Quilted Northern Ultra-Plush, allegedly the first 3-ply super-plush poo paper. The reason, they say, is that plush U.S. toilet paper is usually made by chopping down and grinding up trees that were decades or even a century old.

Toilet paper is far from being the biggest threat to the world's forests: together with facial tissue, it accounts for 5 percent of the U.S. forest-products industry, according to industry figures. Paper and cardboard packaging makes up 26 percent of the industry, although more than half is made from recycled products. Newspapers account for 3 percent.

But environmentalists say 5 percent is still too much. My guess is they wipe their asses with hemp and then smoke it. That, or just use their left hands like it’s the Fourth or Fifth World. Their compromise is using recycled paper and say that it’s a dire sin and crime against the Earth Mother to use an old growth tree in such an undignified manner.


The reason for this war lies in toilet-paper engineering. Each sheet is a web of wood fibers, and fibers from old trees are longer, which produces a smoother and suppler web. Fibers made from recycled paper, like from magazines, newspapers or computer printouts, are shorter. The web is often rougher. So, when toilet paper is made for the public loo market, the scary bathrooms in Wal-Mart, restaurants, offices and schools, manufacturers use recycled fiber about 75 percent of the time. Plus, they buy the cheapest paper imaginable because they’re sorta forced to provide the restrooms. Thusly they aren’t making money from your bung, and they buy whatever sandpapery, waxy, wood-pulpy, non-absorbent, flimsy, half-ply garbage they can.

But for the "at home" market, the paper customers buy for themselves, 5 percent at most is fully recycled. The rest is mostly or totally "virgin" fiber, taken from newly cut trees, according to the market analysis firm RISI Inc. I myself don’t go for the fluffiest, plushest around as it’s linty and too flimsy for my manly arse.


Y’know, by making everyone use cheap paper, you tend to use more of it. When they outlaw toilet paper, only outlaws will have toilet paper…and clean asses. Maybe Greenpeace and the other Enviro-Nazis will be happier if we go back to the 1800’s and use corn cobs to scrape ourselves? I demand a Toilet Paper Czar!!!! The Left will probably let us keep our good papers if only they can tax us per square.



Sure, I'll use one square at a time if I can use THAT roll...

News Release: Zazi gets Presidential Medal of Freedom and Citizenship

Exclusive Lightning Man World Propaganda Network News Flash!!!


Najibullah Zazi, the Afghan-born terror suspect who was being held illegally by white racist right-wingers and the victim of libelous accusations by Republican scum, has been released by Attorney General (Reichsfuher-SS) Eric Holder. In a brief statement, Holder said that ,”Angry racist mobs have planted evidence of wrong-doing against the Zazi family and other peace-lovng Muslims.”

Furthermore the Secretary of Homeland Security (Reichsfuhrer-DHS), Janet Napolitano, has conferred upon Mr. Zazi and his entire wrongly-accused family full and complete American citizenship.


Speaker of the House (Anführer des Amerikanischen Representantenhaus) Nancy Pelosi, almost cracked her Botox with a huge smile. “Today is a banner day for true American patriots like Najibullah Zazi and his family. Besides, that beard is sexy.”



And in a controversial move to end the day, President Barack Hussein Obama has conferred upon Najibullah Zazzi the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest honor that a civilian can receive and similar to the military’s Medal of Honor.

“In these troubling times, it’s refreshing to see a young man of moral substance and fiber come here from a war-torn country with a vision and a plan of action. He’s got a job, and thus pays taxes. He’s traveled around this great nation and seen our great cities like Denver and New York City, and been inspired to do great things. So in addition to awarding Mister Zazzi with this medal, I am also appointing him the President’s Special Adviser for Guantanamo Closure and Muslim Reparations and Relocation, or as the Right will label him, my Gitmo Czar. His responsibilities will include advising me on Gitmo security, payment of bailouts to freed peace-loving Muslims, and setting up relocated former prisoners from Gitmo to subsidized government housing in San Francisco.”



Of course, Joe Biden offered to make it all better by having Zazi over to the White House for a beer since it worked before...

Lose a Czar, Gain a Czar

Just a quickie before work here, kids.

It seems that as Van "Asshole" Jones finds somewhere new to skulk about being a communist, his Lord & Master places a new Czar into power....

Ron Bloom, one of the puppets on a string that Obama used to orchestrate the dismantling of the American auto industry, has now been appointed The Obamessiah's Senior Advisor of Manufacturing Policy. Once again, The Cjosen One is circumventing the process and just appointing someone to a position of power with no Congressional oversight, approval, vetting, or accountability.

Bloom, a Harvard Business School graduate, previously advised the United Steelworkers union and worked as an investment banker. So I guess this makes him an idiot and a thief? I mean, America's steel industry is in a shambles and I keep watching shiploads of Chinese steel being offloaded behind the building I work in, and crooked-assed investment bankers and speculators turned our stock market and banking industry into a cesspool.

And why does the Government need a manufacturing policy? The government doesn't make anything. Last I checked, they governed, and PRIVATE INDUSTRY actually manufactured things.....oh, wait, I forgot...under Obamunism, the government controls all industry like a good socialist system.

Missus Obamessiah's Entourage of Expensive Minions (Courtesy of Z)

I'm borrowing parts of this article from the blog of Z, a rather clever lady I've just become acquainted with this past week. Great minds think alike, and this goes hand in hand with the blog I did on Obama's Czar Bazaar. (http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2009/07/come-one-come-all-to-obamas-czar-bazaar.html)
Go visit Z's blog for yourself at http://gollygeeez.blogspot.com/



From The Canadian Free Press...which is giving us Conservatives a lot of information lately that Americans aren't hearing here in our own country, have you noticed that?


“In my own life, in my own small way, I have tried to give back to this country that has given me so much,” she said. “See, that’s why I left a job at a big law firm for a career in public service, “ Michelle Obama."

No, Michele Obama does not get paid to serve as the First Lady and she doesn’t perform any official duties. But this hasn’t deterred her from hiring an unprecedented number of staffers to cater to her every whim and to satisfy her every request in the midst of the Great Recession. Just think, Mary Todd Lincoln was taken to task for purchasing china for the White House during the Civil War. And Mamie Eisenhower had to shell out the salary for her personal secretary.

How things have changed! If you’re one of the tens of millions of Americans facing certain destitution, earning less than subsistence wages stocking the shelves at Wal-Mart or serving up McDonald cheeseburgers, prepare to scream and then come to realize that the benefit package for these servants of Miz Michele are the same as members of the national security and defense departments and the bill for these assorted lackeys is paid by John Q. Public.

Your tax dollars at work. Next up, 34 czarettes?

$172,200 - Sher, Susan (CHIEF OF STAFF)
$140,000 - Frye, Jocelyn C. (DEPUTY ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT AND DIRECTOR OF POLICY AND PROJECTS FOR THE FIRST LADY)
$113,000 - Rogers, Desiree G. (SPECIAL ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT AND WHITE HOUSE SOCIAL SECRETARY )
$102,000 - Johnston, Camille Y. (SPEC IAL ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT AND D IRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS FOR THE FIRST LADY)
Winter, Melissa E. (SPECIAL ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT AND DEPUTY CHIEF OF STAFF TO THE FIRST LADY)
$90,000 - Medina, David S. (DEPUTY CHIEF OF STAFF TO THE FIRST LADY)
$84,000 - Lelyveld, Catherine M. (DIRECTOR AND PRESS SECRETARY TO THE FIRST LADY)
$75,000 - Starkey, Frances M. (DIRECTOR OF SCHEDULING AND ADVANCE FOR THE FIRST LADY)
$70,000 - Sanders, Trooper (DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF POLICY AND PROJECTS FOR THE FIRST LADY)
$65,000 - Burnough, Erinn J. (DEPUTY DIRECTOR AND DEPUTY SOCIAL SECRETARY)
Reinstein, Joseph B. (DEPUTY DIRECTOR AND DEPUTY SOCIAL SECRETARY)
$62,000 - Goodman, Jennifer R. (DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF SCHEDULING AND EVENTS COORDINATOR FOR THE FIRST LADY)
$60,000 - Fitts, Alan O. (DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF ADVANCE AND TRIP DIRECTOR FOR THE FIRST LADY)
Lewis, Dana M. (SPECIAL ASSISTANT AND PERSONAL AIDE TO THE FIRST LADY)
$52,500 - Mustaphi, Semonti M. (ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR AND DEPUTY PRESS SECRETARY TO THE FIRST LADY)
$50,000 - Jarvis, Kristen E. (SPECIAL ASSISTANT FOR SCHEDULING AND TRAVELING AIDE TO THE FIRST LADY)
$45,000 - Lechtenberg, Tyler A. (ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR OF CORRESPONDENCE FOR THE FIRST LADY)
Tubman, Samantha (DEPUTY ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR,SOCIAL OFFICE)
$40,000 - Boswell, Joseph J. (EXECUTIVE AS SISTANT TO THE CHIEF OF STAFF TO THE FIRST LADY)
$36,000 - Armbruster, Sally M. (STAFF ASSISTANT TO THE SOCIAL SECR ETARY)
Bookey, Natalie (STAFF ASSISTANT)
Jackson, Deilia A. (DEPUTY ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR OF CORRESPONDENCE FOR THE FIRST LADY)
___________
$1,256,000-plus per year - for what?

What? No personal Wagyu Beef Taster?

Come one, come all to Obama's Czar Bazaar!!!

I find it a tad ironic that our Marxist-Leninist Prezidentski, Comrade Obama, has such a hard-on for Czars, since the communists overthrew the last Czar in Russia to make their Revolution complete. Every time I flip on the radio or TV, The Obamessiah is elevating some ACORN crony or bootlicking lackey to the exalted position of Czar, and by Czar we mean someone who is ostensibly universally responsible for some governmental activity or other, but yet on the flip side of that same coin it’s also someone in a paid position of power who reports directly to the president, does not require Senate confirmation, and operates outside of the Constitution and the authority of Congress. Hmm...shadowy people outside of any oversight, controlling our lives with arbitrary laws...transparency, my ass.


By some accounts, there are close to three dozen czars in the Obama administration, managing everything from closing Gitmo (Daniel Fried) to ending the genocide in Darfur (J. Scott Gration). One could jokingly say that Barack Barack’vitch has seated more Czars than the Romanovs.


Obama introduced Gil Kerlikowske as his "drug czar" while speaking to an urban policy group in Washington. With Steve Rattner leaving as head of the administration's auto task force, just days after General Motors emerged from bankruptcy, America will get a new auto czar in former steelworkers union official Ron Bloom. (Rattner is leaving under a cloud of scrutiny into his dealings with the New York state pension fund in a pay-to-play deal. Another Obama crony turns out to be a scumbag with legal problems...but I've covered that before)

We have climate czar Carol Browner, whose authority spans the Environmental Protection Agency and Department of Energy, spreading the propaganda about “climate change” (ie: spreading the Global Warming bullshit. In addition to Browner and health care reform czar Nancy-Ann DeParle, presidential executive orders created an urban affairs czar (Adolfo Carrion, Jr) and a chief technology czar (Vivek Kundra) this year, along with faith-based czar Joshua DuBois, TARP czar Herb Allison, stimulus accountability czar Earl Devaney, non-proliferation czar Gary Samore, terrorism czar John Brennan, and regulatory czar Cass Sunstein. A couple weeks ago we also got a domestic violence czar when Lyn Rosenthal was appointed White House adviser on Violence Against Women.


We also have a host of special envoys that fall into the czar category including Afghanistan/Pakistan special envoy Richard Holbrooke, Mideast peace envoy George Mitchell (kinda like a Czar for Life now, what with how many administrations he’s served in addition to saving baseball from the ravages of ‘roids), special advisor for the Persian Gulf and Southwest Asia Dennis Ross, and climate special envoy Todd Stern. (You mean we get a second Czar to serve the Global Warming Kool Aid for the Bullshit Brigades?)


Perhaps we can take underemployed former NFL star Michael Vick and name him Animal Abuse Czar. Now that Billy Mays has shuffled off his mortal coil, Vince Shlomi can be the Infomercial Czar so that all the repressed proletariat can own a Shamwowski and a Slapski Chopski. Ron Jeremy can be the Male Enhancement Czar, or better yet, Comrade Smiling Bob can do it.