Friday, August 11, 2006

Hollywood Sucks

Hollywood has officially run out of ideas.

All they seem to be doing is remaking old films because there's nothing new to write about. That, and taking every shitty old TV show & making a movie version. They're doing a movie version of Welcome Back Kotter, with Ice Cube playing Gabe Kaplan's Kotter. A tubby ex-rapper playing a 70's Jewish standup comic? Sure, they both have an Afro.....

Miami Vice? The TV show sucked. Why make a movie? A remake of Lassie comes out next month, like that was needed? Even more unnecessary: Jackass 2.

There's some film called Step Up...a dancing movie with a street dancer who falls in love with a classical dancer....bullshit, it's been done before. Save the Last Dance, it was called...which stole half the idea from Flashdance.

All these bullshit psuedo horror movies now where everything is filmed in the dark and the evil creatures are pale forms in blue lighting....and these are all remakes of Jap films anyways.

Lest we forget, Rocky 6 is filming.....

But Snakes on a Plane? Are you for real? The commercials are vague so I'm guessing at what passes for a plot. It looks like some kung fu gangster badass tries to kill his nemesis by filling an airliner with snakes...and then they fly into a storm & the snakes attack. Enter Samuel L. Jackson, who must have lost a fucking bet or something to have gotten involved in this pig. Was there a contest to see who could come up with the lamest plot & sell it to a studio? Sounds like it was written by a fourth grader on crack.

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