Sunday, February 18, 2007

CoEd Naked Harry Potter

Oh boy……the hullabaloo over this new play “Equis”, starring Daniel Radcliffe, is really kinda funny. Actually, the play isn’t new. It’s a revival of some weird-assed trippy stage drama about a boy who bashes in the side of a horse’s head with a brick or some such other blunt object, and then proceeds to prance about naked for the next 90 minutes or so. Sounds like some arty-fartsy excuse to watch some teenaged boy to rock out with his cock out….The Arts for Pedophiles, maybe….

At 17, Radcliffe is probably getting a little worried that Hollyweird will soon be typecasting him into forever being stuck as the kid in glasses riding a broom, thus missing out on juicier roles as an adult. The wicked tightrope-walk of being a child star…. No one would hire Danny Bonaduce after the Partridge Family, and look at the ‘Roid Rage, coked-up train wreck he turned out to be. Personally, I expected MacAuley Culkin to be either flipping burgers or imploding like River Phoenix, but he took an unconventional role in the indie film “SAVED”, and the performance was nothing short of brilliant. The same can’t be said for Benjamin Salisbury, the kid who played Brighton on The Nanny. His last acting gig was playing the pizza delivery guy in a Domino’s ad.

I guess everyone is all a-twitter over this because all these whiny soccer moms are horrified that little Billy & Susie might hear that harmless Harry Potter is walking about with his dong in the breeze and that’s just being an irresponsible child role model….NOTE TO SELF-SAME SOCCER MOMS: FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. He’s not a role model. He’s a role PLAYER. He’s an actor. Parents are role models. Teachers are role models. Actors, rock stars, and pro sports figures are not role models; they’re entertainers. Be more pro-active in your kids’ lives instead of letting them emulate attention-whore millionaires.

Sally Soccer Mom is scared shitless that her kid might ponder the nude human form. America is so prudish about nudity, yet we’re cool with violence & car chases and explosions. Nudity is natural; driving 120 miles an hour through rush hour traffic while blazing away at the other drivers with a machine gun really isn’t. Of course, the rumors are also saying that Radcliffe has a gi-normous dong, too. So maybe the soccer moms are all freaked out over the fact that they’re now dreaming of Harry Potter’s magic wand……

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