Sunday, May 15, 2011

More TSA-related crap

A week or two ago the TSA was in the news yet again with footage of agents searching the diaper of a 2-year old for explosives. The TSA and their lunacy is one of the reasons I currently refuse to fly anywhere. The price of flying is the other. Fear of terrorism doesn't even factor in.

About six months ago a friend of mine shared a photo with me:

The top item is a fold-up corkscrew and bottle opener. The bottom item is the deadly princess snow globe. My friend had this to say about the items:
Fact: The top item was allowed (with full TSA knowledge) to get through security at the Atlanta airport. FACT: The item on the bottom was confiscated by the TSA at the Tampa airport one month earlier. (I bet it was that menacing squirrel inside the princess snow globe that set off alarm bells)
Yeah....the deadly princess snow globe. How many planes over the years have been taken over or brought down by snow globes?

Oh yeah, get them pesky terrorist octogenarians....

And make sure you get those dangerous kids.....

Make sure you grope the firm round ones...

And you absolutely HAVE to have a nun get searched by a Muslim TSA agent in a Hijab...

And this story has been around the Web for a few months but bears repeating...

As the Chalk Leader for my flight home from Afghanistan, I witnessed the following:

When we were on our way back from Afghanistan, we flew out of Baghram Air Field. We went through customs at BAF, full body scanners (no groping), had all of our bags searched, the whole nine yards.

Our first stop was Shannon, Ireland to refuel. After that, we had to stop at Indianapolis, Indiana to drop off about 100 folks from the Indiana National Guard. That's where the STUPIDITIES started.

First, everyone was forced to get off the plane-even though the plane wasn't refueling again. All 330 people got off that plane, rather than let the 100 people from the ING get off. We were filed from the plane to a holding area. No vending machines, no means of escape. Only a male/female latrine. It's probably important to mention that we were ALL carrying weapons. Everyone was carrying an M-4 Carbine (rifle) and some, like me, were also carrying an M-9 pistol. Oh, and our gunners had M-240B machine guns. Of course, the weapons weren't loaded, as we had been cleared of all ammo well before we even got to customs at Baghram, then AGAIN at customs.

The TSA personnel at the airport seriously considered making us unload all of the baggage from the SECURE cargo hold to have it re-inspected. Keep in mind, this cargo had been unpacked, inspected piece by piece by U.S. Customs officials, resealed and had bomb-sniffing dogs give it a one-hour run through. After two hours of sitting in this holding area, the TSA decided not to re-inspect our Cargo - just to inspect us again: Soldiers on the way home from war, who had already been inspected, re-inspected and kept in a SECURE holding area for 2 hours. Okay, whatever.

So we lined up to go through security AGAIN. This is probably another good time to remind you all that all of us were carrying actual assault rifles, and some of us were also carrying pistols. So we're in line, going through one at a time. One of our Soldiers had his Gerber multi-tool. TSA confiscated it. Kind of ridiculous, but it gets better. A few minutes later, a guy empties his pockets and has a pair of nail clippers. Nail clippers. TSA informs the Soldier that they're going to confiscate his nail clippers. The conversation went something like this:

TSA Guy: You can't take those on the plane.

Soldier: What ? I've had them since we left country.

TSA Guy: You're not suppose to have them.

Soldier: Why?

TSA Guy: They can be used as a weapon.

Soldier: [touches butt stock of the rifle] But this actually is a weapon. And I'm allowed to take it on.

TSA Guy: Yeah but you can't use it to take over the plane. You don't have bullets.

Soldier: And I can take over the plane with nail clippers?

TSA Guy: [awkward silence]

Me: Dude, just give him your damn nail clippers so we can get the f**k out of here. I'll buy you a new set.

Soldier: [hands nail clippers to TSA guy, makes it through security]

To top it off, the TSA demanded we all be swabbed for "explosive residue" detection. Everyone failed, [go figure, we just came home from a war zone], because we tested positive for "Gun Powder Residue". Who the F**K is hiring these people? This might be a good time to remind everyone that approximately 233 people re-boarded that plane with assault rifles, pistols, and machine guns - But nothing like a nail-clipper that could have been used as a weapon...

Can someone please tell me: What the F**K happened to OUR country while we were gone?

Sergeant Mad Dog Tracy

Exactly...what's happened to our country. I'll tell you what.....Progressive Liberalism happened.


powdergirl said...

I got home from an in-country(Canada) flight just an hour ago. I was selected, by the" machine" apparently, for a random pat-down. TWICE in one day. While the agents were in no way rude or offensive, I do wonder how that random selector manages to choose me every single time I fly either in the U.S or Canada. I must seem very dangerous to machines...

Steve: The Lightning Man said...

You're either dangerous or attractive....

j summ said...

i have got to get me one of those feel up a hottie jobs at the airport.
even i could find a way to be polite and unoffensive with a gig like that.
someone else can check the refugees for the retirement home and kids---that shit is way to creepy for me.

Brooke said...

All of this bullshit could be avoided by simply PROFILING.

Amanda said...

Per my husband: There was 230 of them and they couldn't overwhelm the stupid little TSA agents that they outrank anyway??

Amanda said...

Also per my husband: What's wrong with this country? It's a case of the nutless harassing those of us that actually have the cajones to go over and fight. Apparently it's real easy to look big and bad with your stupid TSA badge when no one can do anything to you.

Steve: The Lightning Man said...

Touche, Amanda.