Sunday, December 2, 2012

Simon Cowell gets his knickers in a twist

How dare you look at Simon Cowell directly, you insect....

Oh dear. It seems as if a tiff has developed between a founding member of my favorite band and a man I have always found to be a complete and utter tool, Simon Cowell.

Why does this man in his 50's insist on wearing shirts sized for little boys?
The band is Depeche Mode, my favorite band for about 28 years now. Poised to release what will be their 13th studio album in the spring, the band has been doing interviews after last month’s announcement of yet another world tour (dates for which are already mostly sold out months in advance). In an interview last week with Music Week, founding member Martin Gore stated his displeasure about manufactured music and admitting he really hates reality shows, especially Cowell’s X-Factor.

Gore declared: "I'm not advocating violence, but I think somebody should shoot Simon Cowell.
"His influence in the music industry over the last God knows how many years it's been now ... it's just like so many people think that that's what music is."

Gore pointed out that in contrast to manufactured bands, Depeche Mode had been allowed to form and mature at their own pace.

"What happened to bands getting together? They are very few and far between now, and the ones that do probably can’t afford to get into a studio and make a record," he said.

Fellow band member Dave Gahan also shared his view and admitted that it is difficult for acts to be successful in the current musical climate, adding: "It's a pretty horrible business today really, I've got to say. You have to be tough and you've got to be thick-skinned because there are going to be things written about you that you're not going to like. 

"You're going to get scrutinized, your work will not always be liked and if they do like something really a lot they’re probably not going to like the next thing and compare it to the last thing. It takes a time for a band to grow if they're any good."

Gahan also said artists need time to grow and his band were lucky they didn't suffer the same pressure musicians are under today. "We were lucky that we were taken under the wing of [producer] Daniel Miller who never once in the studio said, 'Where's the hit song?'" he added.

Even former bandmate Alan Wilder was behind Gore, agreeing with him via a nickname on a Facebook post. “Well done to Gorak for articulating the feelings of an entire nation. Anyone who pulls his trousers up that far is bound to get his knickers in a twist."

Martin Gore, who tells it like it is
Dave Gahan, who does not wear his shirts 2 sizes too small

Alan Wilder, who supports his former band mate

Clearly, Gore meant this as a metaphorical shooting, and of course, Cowell flew off the deep end. I suppose if someone said it was raining cats & dogs the simpering smug bastard would peek out the window looking for a deluge of pets falling screaming from the heavens?

Cowell took to Twitter in a scathing rant: 'I read Martin Gore wants to shoot me. He was is in Depeche Mode. Do you realize how weird and stupid that makes you? Go and watch the news.' He added: 'Why I am angry about weirdo Gore is a ton of people have got shot this year, and people like weirdo Gore encourage this.'

My God, Cowell….you say you get death threats all the time. Maybe that’s because you come across as an asshole and you thrive on the attention of being an asshole? You’re an A&R guy, an overpaid talent scout, who got his start from his father’s connections and then rode the coat tails of the legendary Stock, Aitken & Waterman group. You seek out kids to exploit to a vapid and jaded audience who in general neither write their own material nor can properly sing it without studio tricks, barring a few notable exceptions. Almost every winner on American Idol has fizzled out as a musical footnote.

You do realize, of course, that your very own Susan Boyle covered Depeche Mode’s “Enjoy the Silence” on her last album, a song written by Gore? I’m sure you made some coin in that deal, no?

Is this the face of a killer?
Depeche Mode, according to Q Magazine, is "the most popular electronic band the world has ever known.” and included the band on their list of the "50 Bands That Changed The World!" They have released 12 studio albums, six live albums, ten compilations, and placed 48 singles on the UK charts. Depeche Mode have sold over100 million records (60 million albums / 40 million singles) worldwide over a 30+ year career.
Martin Lee Gore is also of the greatest artists the UK has produced. A winner of the coveted Ivor Novello award, he is today, with and without the band, cited as a major influence for an entire genre of music and hundreds of artists. In fact the list of awards the band has either won or been nominated for is longer than I have time to list.

Unlike Cowell, Gore has never been associated with the Power Rangers or the Teletubbies.

All that money and you can't button your shirt like a grownup or get pants that fit?
Call me when one of your associated acts approaches anything remotely as long or as impactful as the career of Depeche Mode, Mister Cowell.

Depeche Mode: Martin Gore, Dave Gahan, and Andy Fletcher


Mr. Mcgranor said...

Are you sure his shirts are too small?

Steve: The Lightning Man said...

Yes, my good sir, I'm pretty sure he's getting them purposely snug to show off his trips to the gym. In my humble yet correct opinion that just looks silly on a man of any age.