Taking a look at Top 40 music again

It's been quite a while (August maybe?) since I last perused the Billboard music charts to see what passes for popular music these days. As we all well know, I tend to avoid Top 40 radio like Taylor Swift avoids long-term commitments. Occasionally, however, I punish myself by listening in to at least stay somewhat current and feel less like the middle-aged guy who clings to his 80's New Wave with white knuckles.

So, I decided to check the Billboard top 40 chart and see what dreck & drivel the empty suits at the record labels are currently passing off on the masses.
 

Selina Gomez-- Come And Get It
Forever tainted by the evil touch of Satan, ie: Justin Bieber, Gomez has been performing this track on any show that will book her, from the MTV Movie Awards to Ellen to Dancing With The Stars and in pretty much every case she's in some mock Indian sari getup with dancers of various ethnicity decorated with a bindi, because all you need is a red dot on your forehead to make you an authentic Indian in Gomez' world. I'll assume the reason for the pseudo-Indian garb is the bhangra beat to the chorus. The song isn't completely terrible but honestly, if I want Indian I'll go authentic with the 2000 track "Darshan" by B21.Selina, dear, stay away from that Bieber chick. She's trouble.





Feel This Moment-- Pitbull featuring Christina Aguilera
One has no hair, the other has hair like old straw. One wears a tailored suit, the other looks like a leather sausage. This sounds pretty much like the last Pitbull song I heard, the same rap cadence of lines over a remixed sample of a classic song. Last time it was Mickey & Sylvia's "Love Is Strange" and this time the creativity is provided by A-ha's "Take On Me". At least Christina keeps the caterwauling to a minimum and refrains from yodeling vocal runs.



Justin Timberlake--Suit & Tie
Christ, this song is inescapable. On a good day my car radio can pick up five or six Top 40 and/or A/C stations and I swear to Gawd, I heard this on every single one of them in a 30 minute span. I think JT is a decent actor and a very funny guy, and I respect him musically but this new throwback soul style is utter crap. Plus, I detest Jay-Z.



Rihanna featuring Mikky Ekko--Stay
There seems to be an unwritten law that says every 90 days there must be a new Rihanna single whether we want one or not. A ballad, damn near a funereal dirge, pretty enough but after a bit it just seems to drag. Never heard of this Ekko fellow before (born John Stephen Sudduth) but his voice is actually a bit higher than hers here. At least she's spending time with a guy who isn't using her as a punching bag...



Psy--Gentleman
Well, we all thought Park Jae-sang, better known as Psy, was going to be a one hit wonder after Gangnam Style took the universe by storm last summer. While not as instantly catchy as his last single, this one's video is just as amusing, with Psy being basically a dick to everyone he meets.



Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Wanz-- Thrift Shop
This song is effing ridonkulous but gets in your head & stays there like a recurring yeast infection on a 2-dollar hooker. A rapping white kid going on about buying second-hand clothes at Goodwill. He does make the valid point about a-holes wearing $50 designer t-shirts thinking they're unique till they see 5 others wearing the same shirt at a club.



Pink featuring Nate Ruess-- Just Give Me a Reason
I've always adored Pink. She's badass. This is one of her finest vocal performances, with help from the guy who sings for the band fun., whom I have previously  been wrong about when I guessed they'd fade into obscurity as quickly as they appeared. However, like all Pink songs, this is getting played ad nauseum, so I'm already bored with it.



Icona Pop--I Love It
I just heard this song for the first time a couple days ago and really liked it. It's great technopop dance music from Sweden and hopefully it won't get ruined by overplay. Finally, something on the Top 40 chart I can get into. I dare you to sit still while listening.



So.....what else SHOULD you be listening to?

Capital Cities-- Safe and Sound
Found this gem by accident listening to Sirius and it was love at first listen. Great beats, catchy hooks, impossible to sit still while listening. This is my new jam for Spring. Even features live trumpet instead of a sample, and it really makes the song. This is just one of several clever videos out there for this song.




The Airborne Toxic Event--Timeless
Another accidental finding on Sirius. A few years back I fell head over heels with their song "Sometime Around Midnight" and even named it one of the best songs of 2008. This one grows on you quickly.



Radioactive/It's Time--Imagine Dragons
Took me awhile to finally get into these guys. I've been let down by so many newer alternative/modern rock bands that I'm reluctant to get into bands that are heavily hyped on alternative radio. Both of these songs are really great.





Tegan & Sara--Closer
Twin sisters Tegan and Sara Quin have been around awhile, an indie staple and a closely guarded secret of sorts.  I think I first heard them in 2004 with their song "Where Does The Good Go". This is a great pop track that should break them huge. Catch them opening for fun. this summer.



And, of course, there's new Depeche Mode.....

The new album is called Delta Machine, and while I'm sad that it wasn't close to the glory that was "Violator" there are some good tracks on it, and the new single is in my opinion the best track of the whole CD. Whereas the first single "Heaven" was an austere minimal ballad, "Soothe My Soul" is a dancefloor stomper with a dark, murky, sensual edge, just the way a Depeche Mode song should be. Play it LOUD, friends, and see what a 32-year career as the cutting edge of music brings to the table.







And if you want to read savage and scathing reviews of previous Top 40 offerings, go here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Simon Cowell gets his knickers in a twist

How dare you look at Simon Cowell directly, you insect....

Oh dear. It seems as if a tiff has developed between a founding member of my favorite band and a man I have always found to be a complete and utter tool, Simon Cowell.

Why does this man in his 50's insist on wearing shirts sized for little boys?

 

The band is Depeche Mode, my favorite band for about 28 years now. Poised to release what will be their 13^th studio album in the spring, the band has been doing interviews after last month’s announcement of yet another world tour (dates for which are already mostly sold out months in advance). In an interview last week with Music Week, founding member Martin Gore stated his displeasure about manufactured music and admitting he really hates reality shows, especially Cowell’s X-Factor.

Gore declared: "I'm not advocating violence, but I think somebody should shoot Simon Cowell.

"His influence in the music industry over the last God knows how many years it's been now ... it's just like so many people think that that's what music is."

Gore pointed out that in contrast to manufactured bands, Depeche Mode had been allowed to form and mature at their own pace.

"What happened to bands getting together? They are very few and far between now, and the ones that do probably can’t afford to get into a studio and make a record," he said.

Fellow band member Dave Gahan also shared his view and admitted that it is difficult for acts to be successful in the current musical climate, adding: "It's a pretty horrible business today really, I've got to say. You have to be tough and you've got to be thick-skinned because there are going to be things written about you that you're not going to like. 

"You're going to get scrutinized, your work will not always be liked and if they do like something really a lot they’re probably not going to like the next thing and compare it to the last thing. It takes a time for a band to grow if they're any good."

Gahan also said artists need time to grow and his band were lucky they didn't suffer the same pressure musicians are under today. "We were lucky that we were taken under the wing of [producer] Daniel Miller who never once in the studio said, 'Where's the hit song?'" he added.

Even former bandmate Alan Wilder was behind Gore, agreeing with him via a nickname on a Facebook post. “Well done to Gorak for articulating the feelings of an entire nation. Anyone who pulls his trousers up that far is bound to get his knickers in a twist."

Martin Gore, who tells it like it is

Dave Gahan, who does not wear his shirts 2 sizes too small

Alan Wilder, who supports his former band mate

Clearly, Gore meant this as a metaphorical shooting, and of course, Cowell flew off the deep end. I suppose if someone said it was raining cats & dogs the simpering smug bastard would peek out the window looking for a deluge of pets falling screaming from the heavens?

Cowell took to Twitter in a scathing rant: 'I read Martin Gore wants to shoot me. He was is in Depeche Mode. Do you realize how weird and stupid that makes you? Go and watch the news.' He added: 'Why I am angry about weirdo Gore is a ton of people have got shot this year, and people like weirdo Gore encourage this.'

My God, Cowell….you say you get death threats all the time. Maybe that’s because you come across as an asshole and you thrive on the attention of being an asshole? You’re an A&R guy, an overpaid talent scout, who got his start from his father’s connections and then rode the coat tails of the legendary Stock, Aitken & Waterman group. You seek out kids to exploit to a vapid and jaded audience who in general neither write their own material nor can properly sing it without studio tricks, barring a few notable exceptions. Almost every winner on American Idol has fizzled out as a musical footnote.

You do realize, of course, that your very own Susan Boyle covered Depeche Mode’s “Enjoy the Silence” on her last album, a song written by Gore? I’m sure you made some coin in that deal, no?

Is this the face of a killer?

 
Depeche Mode, according to Q Magazine, is "the most popular electronic band the world has ever known.” and included the band on their list of the "50 Bands That Changed The World!" They have released 12 studio albums, six live albums, ten compilations, and placed 48 singles on the UK charts. Depeche Mode have sold over100 million records (60 million albums / 40 million singles) worldwide over a 30+ year career.
Martin Lee Gore is also of the greatest artists the UK has produced. A winner of the coveted Ivor Novello award, he is today, with and without the band, cited as a major influence for an entire genre of music and hundreds of artists. In fact the list of awards the band has either won or been nominated for is longer than I have time to list.

Unlike Cowell, Gore has never been associated with the Power Rangers or the Teletubbies.

All that money and you can't button your shirt like a grownup or get pants that fit?

 
Call me when one of your associated acts approaches anything remotely as long or as impactful as the career of Depeche Mode, Mister Cowell.

Depeche Mode: Martin Gore, Dave Gahan, and Andy Fletcher

A special anniversary for me

New Year’s Eve marked an extremely special anniversary for me.

On December 31st, 1989, perched on the eve of the 90’s, I started a love affair that has seen me through good times and bad, thick & thin and everything in between, has always been for me in various forms or other, and is permanently etched into my being.

It was the first time I heard “Enjoy The Silence” by Depeche Mode.

I was already a die-hard Mode fan. That had started a few years earlier in high school thanks to classmate Mike Ramsey and they were without a doubt my favorite band. Today they still are. I’ve always been perversely proud of being so deeply into a band that most people barely know, if at all.

New Year’s Eve 1989/1990 was a little subdued. I was still hung over from possibly the most intense party binge my then-20-year-old body would ever see, so instead of bar hopping & clubbing, we went over to the home of my assistant squad leader, Joe Clipp, and had a couple beers there. Being off-base in the town of Eislingen, of course Joe had German cable TV, especially since he’d married a German girl and spoke the language himself quite well. The channel ZDF was on with a Peter’s Pop Show New Year’s special, and they’d left it on partly because the previews stated there’d be a performance by…who else? Depeche Mode, who was hugely popular in Germany.

They’d released a single three months previously that was from a forthcoming album (still another 3 months away) that was wildly successful called “Personal Jesus”. I expected a lip-sync of their latest hit and that’d be it.

Sure enough, they came onstage and that was exactly what we got. The crowd ate it up and then…magic happened….they performed another song. They put the title on the screen and it burned into my memory, as did all new things Mode-related. For the next 4 minutes I was in a tingly trance, hearing for the first time the anthem that would become my all-time favorite song ever. The song was officially released as a single itself a few weeks later, followed by the album in March. Soon after, with the single climbing the charts worldwide, the song was inescapable throughout most of 1990.

But I heard it first on New Year's Eve.
Go here to see a copy of that same performance:
http://depechemode.tv/2007/media.asp?type=tvperformances&id=100

Depeche Mode on CNN Headline

Depeche Mode : Come Back, indeed!

This is a studio session of Depeche Mode recording a track from their soon-to-be-released album "Sounds of the Universe". The song is called "Come Back", and it is simply gorgeous. I'm not sure how much this version will differ from the final mix on the CD, but this one sounded pretty damned amazing to me.


For all of you out there who keep asking me why I've been a Depeche Mode fan since the early 80's, THIS is why. They just keep getting better.....

Depeche Mode premieres new single on German TV

My favorite band of all time, Depeche Mode, premiered their new single, called "Wrong", on German TV tonight at the 2009 ECHO Awards. Scheduled for worldwide release in a couple weeks, the track is the first single off the upcoming album "Sounds of the Universe".

The Mode are still making kick-ass music 28 years after releasing their debut single in 1981. They pioneered electronic music, and dozens of bands owe their very existence, let alone their sounds, to Depeche Mode. The band looks to be returning to a more elctronic sound on the new album, and to me "Wrong" has a very classic late-80's/early-90's DM feel to it.

How much do I like Depeche Mode? Enough to have three of their images tatooed on my right arm...

The Best of 2008: What You SHOULD Have Been Listening To

Okay, call me a slack-ass. I meant to do this blog a couple weeks ago when I was on Staycation during the Christmas holidays. However…I was busy. Anyways, here we go, without further adieu, the Best of 2008.

I think by now we’ve established that I listen to a lot of music. That’s a given.

I heard an awful lot of crap last year. I also heard an awful lot of stuff that I could stomach, but only so much as to listen to it as background noise, and even then only until something decent came on.

Sad to say, I only heard a few things that really got me pumped & primed this year. Some of it never made it to your local radio stations, and the stuff that did make it was pretty much overlooked mostly, in favor of prepackaged utter gobshite.

In no real particular order, here are the things you SHOULD have been listening to these past few months.

Carolina Liar—I’m Not Over (acoustic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vF_Xly9s7Z0)
Take a guy from Monck’s Corner, SC (just a short drive from me)and team him up with five Swedes, stir, and you get a great rock track. I’ve played this song over & over & it just doesn’t get old. You also need to check out their track “Show Me What I’m Looking For”. Not to boast, but I’ve emailed back & forth with singer Chad Wolfe a few times, and he truly is one of the nicest people you could ever hope to run across. And yes, this song is heard in the Ashton Kutcher/Cameron Diaz film “What Happens in Vegas”. And speaking of Vegas…

The Killers—Human ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6r4KT8-VX0 )
Yet another absolutely brilliant track from the best thing to come out of Las Vegas since “CSI”. The lyrics may not necessarily make sense immediately, but so what? Singer Brandon Flowers says that the lyrics were inspired by a disparaging comment made by Hunter S. Thompson about how America was raising a generation of dancers. Don’t be a perfect little porcelain doll dancer…go out and be imperfect and be human.

O.A.R.—Shatterred ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKl59QttUoY )
The pride of Montgomery County, Maryland, despite what everyone in Columbus , Ohio may think. The band hails from Rockville but met while students at Ohio State University. The first couple times I heard the song I thought that singer Marc Roberge sounded a lot like David Gray (“Babylon”, one of the best songs of 2001...go look it up. Now.) A slow buildup much the same way that Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars” builds up to a nice truimphant finish.

The Veronicas—Untouched ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykW4rtW2eu0 )
Hands down, my 2008 Dance Track of the Year. Ordinarily I’d pass off these twin sisters from Australia as a bubblegummy adult version of Aly & A.J., but this track is more infectious than a 2-dollar crack whore off Spruill Avenue. The production work is great, with a rip-stomping beat and synthesized strings that’ll have you driving 75 in a 45 before you know it. I defy you to play it in the car and not have your speed go up by 10 mph before you’re 30 seconds in.

Pit Bull featuring Lil’ Jon—Krazy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXHXSqkq_tg )
What’s this? Steve likes a Latin Rap song? Dude, I think I’d listen to The Barney Song if Lil’ Jon was involved. The man’s a walking party to go, and a rather good producer as well. And, he likes hockey. This gets my award for Crunked Up Party Song of the Year. It makes you wanna roll the windows down, jack the volume up, and invite everyone else in traffic to bounce along with you.

Album of ther Year Runner Up:
The Cure—4:13 Dream

“The Only One”, live in Rome: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tD9GOKq3ME
Throughout its myriad incarnations and lineup changes, Robert Smith and Company are still one of the best acts ever to play a song. February marks the 30th anniversary of the release of their first single, and it gladdens my heart to see that a band I grew up on is still making viable, relevant music that’s better than 99% of the stuff record labels feed us these days. My only real beef with The Cure’s curent sound is that without the inluence of departed keyboard guru Roger O’Donnell, the guitar-driven songs of this album (and their self-titled 2005 album) lack a certain lushness and luster. Still, this is a damned good record.

Album of the Year
Shiny Toy Guns—Season of Poison

“Ricochet!” ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwoykvYkSdo )
Finally, the long-awaited second full album from STG. After self-releasing two diferent versions of their incredible debut album, “We Are Pilots”, the band released a third version on a major label and the rest is history. A slight lineup change with the departure of Carah Faye Charnow and the addition of Sisely Treasure, and a slight change of sound, from synths complimented by guitars to a role reversal of more guitars complimented by synths.

“When Did The Storm Begin?”, the album’s opening track, is a vicious look at domestic violence that lets you know that this ain’t the same STG you listened to last year. It segues into the brilliant “Money For That”, a great piece of remeniscing for us 80’s kids having our late-30’s epiphanies. The first single, “Ricochet!” , and “Ghost Town” (the next single) are brash and in your face, while “I Owe You a Love Song” and “Turn To Real Life” are perfect pop gems deserving of ample rotation and club play with the proper remixes. I’d love to hear Jacques LuCont and Paul Oakenfold play with them.

Song of the Year Runner Up

The Airborne Toxic Event—Sometime Around Midnight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2YnDlEMXiU

Ever gone to a bar to have a drink and forget about the girl who kicked you in the junk and fed your heart to a pack of rabid squirrels? Ever have her show up at the bar, looking better than ever, and have her come over all non-chalant and ask how you are? Ever watch her leave with some new asshat, knowing full well that he’ll be mattress-backing her in less than an hour, and you just snap inside? Then you’ll absolutely love this song. It’s got the raw emotion and loss of a Smiths song, the melodies of Echo & The Bunnymen, the depth of a Cure track, and the catchy hooks of New Order, and yet it still has a new, fresh sound all its own. From the opening strings to the ending notes tapering off, it’s damn near the most captivating five minutes you’ll experience any time soon.

I heard it a few times in the car but couldn’t really concentrate on it but made a note to check it out, and when I finally did, I just sat there in awe. I was dumbstruck at how cool this track is. Please…go listen.

This leads me, finally, to…
SONG OF THE YEAR

Mirror, featuring Dave Gahan—Nostalgia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mE45pn_AMW0

Okay, I’m biased. Everyone who’s known me more than six minutes knows that I’m a huge fan of Depeche Mode. Hell, I have three different DM-related symbols tattoed into the flesh of my right arm. And of course, Dave Gahan is the singer for the aforementioned Mode.

MIRROR is the multi-media audio and visual project of cinematic film-noir electronic pop put together by Vancouver-based Thomas Anselmi, featuring Gahan, Joe Dallesandro of Andy Warhol’s films, David Bowie pianist Mike Garson, and introducing chanteuse Laure-Elaine and teen actress Frances Lawson.

Given that lately I’ve been a little tweeked at the prospect of turning 40 in a little over 5 months, and I’ve recently gotten in touch with several of my old Army buddies and high school friends, “Nostalgia” really struck a chord with my current state of being (See “Money For That” by Shiny Toy Guns).

It very well could have been a Depeche Mode track, it’s that good. The instrumentation and general feel is very DM, but not quite as, well, um, shall we say, brooding or quite as dark. (I personally don’t find their music dark but that word gets used a lot in describing it.)

Dave’s voice has never sounded so clear and pure. It’s a lot like the soaring vocals on their 1993 track “Condemnation” but less forceful and much more melodic. It’s like the older Dave Gahan gets, the better he sounds.

"I think he sang it as a love song, but I think he was also aware of the other aspect of the song," Anselmi says, "where it's less about the end of a love affair and more about the end of everything."

The song is melancholy but beautiful. Please go listen to it. You will NOT be disappointed.

For the reason of Dave’s excellent vocals, and for the reason that his bandmate Martin Gore has been buying up loads of old synth gear on eBay, I’m calling the as-yet untitled Depeche Mode album that’s slated for release later this year to be the most highly anticipated album of 2009.

So there you have it. There were other songs I liked this year here and there, but they unfortunately got so overplayed that I now cringe when I hear them on the radio (sorry, Katy Perry). Go take a listen and see for yourselves what wonders I have found….

The Sun and The Rainfall

Seeing that this summer marked 20 years since I graduated, a lot of my thoughts as of late have been reminiscings of that summer of 1987 when I graduated from Robert W. Traip Academy in Kittery, Maine.

Summers here in South Carolina are hot and muggy, oppressively so. That wasn’t the case in coastal southern Maine in the summer of 1987. The days could be hot, but hot for Maine was 90 with a relatively low humidity tempered by the cool ocean-fed breezes. The evenings, by South Carolina standards, were coolish at times, down to the mid 60’s.

The other day while driving home after midnight after a mind-numbing work shift, the night air held that same cool, calm feel to it that I remembered. It felt great, almost decadent, after such a blazing summer. And there, on a dark, two-lane rural road, with a 70-degree breeze on my arm out the window, I lost 20 years.

In my mind I was no longer driving on Highway 17A, but riding in the backseat of a pale blue Datsun B210 with a red and yellow “MEAT IS MURDER” bumper sticker on it from the band The Smiths. It was Selina Standish’s car, and she had invited me along to go joyriding across the river in New Hampshire with her brother Gil, his buddy Jon Saddler, and her friend Annette Sheldon, whom I started dating a short time later after we realized we each had a crush on the other. At the tender age of 18, and barely that by just a couple months, I was the oldest one in the car. It was late by my standards, close to 1AM, and there was an almost full moon out that night casting a purple sheen against the few white puffy clouds visible in a fairly clear sky full of stars.

We were listening, as per the usual, to the college radio station out of the University of New Hampshire, WUNH 91.3, since we considered ourselves far too cool and hip to listen to mere commercial radio. The station was about to sign off for the night and as the final song of the night the DJ played “The Sun and The Rainfall” by Depeche Mode. In mid-1987 the song was fully 5 years old and not very well-known in the USA, but as Depeche Mode was my favorite band, I knew the song backwards and front. It’s a quiet song, atmospheric really, and it was absolutely the most perfect choice for a quiet night along a deserted country lane. Selina turned it up at my request, and for the next five minutes and four seconds we all just sat silently and listened to the soothing melody mixing with the wind coming through the windows. All was well in the world. There were no worries, no fears, no crushing responsibilities or debts. We were all young, invincible, and would someday conquer the word.

As the song faded out and the station went silent I kept my head against Annette’s shoulder and knew that this was one of those moments that I’d always remember, and that it would be a memory that I’d look back on years down the road. Sure enough, I did. And twenty years later, with the group of us between 35 and 38 now, all grown up with families of our own and lives scattered across the country, I wonder if any of my fellow passengers remember that night at all, or if they even would recognize the song if they heard it again. Wherever you guys are, I wish you all the best, and I hope from time to time that you remember, too.

NOTE: The picture up top is by photographer Brian Griffin, and it was used as the cover for the album that “The Sun and the Rainfall” is on, “A Broken Frame”. It was named one of Life Magazines' 'Worlds Greatest Pictures 1980 - 1990' and was the cover picture for that issue of the magazine. There was never an official video for the song, since it was never a single release, but there’s a fan-made clip on YouTube that features more pictures based on the album jacket and some live footage of the band performing the song at the Hammersmith Odeon in 1982. Hopefully you’ll find the song as captivating as I do, 25 years after it was recorded.

An hour of my life that I'll never get back...

People often ask me why I listen to the music that I do. I don’t really listen to a lot of new bands, and by “new” I mean bands who have surfaced in say the past 5 years, such as Coldplay or Snow Patrol. I mostly listen to music from bands I’ve listened to for 20+ years who are still producing excellent music. Bands like Depeche Mode, Erasure, and The Cure. Trust me when I say when given the choice between listening to 99% of today’s Top-40 gobshite and say, the 1982 Depeche Mode song “The Sun & The Rainfall”, I’ll gladly take a trip 25 years down memory lane. The classic Smiths’ song “What Difference Does It Make?” still sounds better-crafted and more relevant than today’s pre-programmed, polished & shiny dreck, and it was released 23 years ago.

So, every so often, I donate an hour of my life to Purgatory and listen to Top-40 radio just to remind myself why I generally listen to talk radio instead. Some people waste life-span by smoking crack, some waste it in strip clubs… and me, I waste it listening to pointless crap in hopes of finding something that’s pretty good. Sometimes I even succeed.

So…here’s the results from another hour of my life that I’ll never get back.

1.Bubbly, by Colbie Caillat. This sounds to me like the perfect chick-song accompaniment to that overplayed “You Had a Bad Day” , by Daniel Powter, that was plastered all over American Idol’s loser send-offs. Sugary to the point of insulin shock. My teeth hurt when I hear her whisper-croon about crinkling her nose, etc.

2.Thnks fr th mmrs, by Fall Out Boy. We’re so cool that we can leave out the vowels in our song titles. Less emo than previous outings, and still by far less pretentious than those dickheads from Panic! At The Disco.

3.Bartender, by T-Pain. Sounds way too much like his other song, “Buy You a Drank”, with vocal processing stolen from Cher’s “Believe”. Sounds like he spends too much time in bars. How can you argue with brilliance in lyrics like “She made us drinks to drink, we drunk ‘em, got drunk.”? I mean, that’s fucking poetry, man.

4.Rehab, by Amy Winehouse. The Brits think this chick walks on water. Me, I think she merely floats because she doesn’t weigh enough to sink. I saw an old picture of her & she was well-fed & had a nice frame & face. Now she’s loaded down with very big tattoos, this giant beehive on her head, and she has that scrawny emaciated heroin-addict look . It’s like watching Mariah Carey morph into Nicole Ritchie overnight. How fitting that the song is about rehab. The jazzy 60’s Motown backing music is great, but American audiences aren’t used to hearing something without a hip-hop beat anymore, so the new radio-remix has some guy tossing a hastily-recorded rap over the top of the bridge that adds NOTHING to the song other than dumbing it down to pander to American ears. Click the picture above for a better view.....

5.Beautiful Girls, by Sean Kingston. This song is unescapable. It’s everywhere, from car radios to public toilets. The production, much like Winehouse’s song, is great, stealing its backing music from Ben E. King’s “Stand by Me”. Without the slick production, neither song would be worth a damn on their own. I find it hard to not laugh when he sings the line “It was back in ’99, watching movies all the time, when I went away for doing my first crime…” Hey, boyo, you’re barely 18. So, they sent you away at age 10? Fut the whuck?

6.Party Like a Rockstar, by Shop Boys. Aside from the annoyingly repetitive chorus, I really can’t understand 90% of anything these fucks are saying. Possibly the most repetitive thing I’ve heard since that Laffy Taffy crap from last summer. Totally, dude.

7.Potential Breakup Song, by Aly & AJ. More catchy than a case of crabs off a truck-stop toilet seat, this song has decently produced music mixed with some of the most bubblegum-simple lyrics since Avril Lavigne’s “Skater Boi”. They have nice voices, but something tells me their Hello Kitty shit wears thin by song 4 on a full cd.

8.When You’re Gone, by Avril Lavigne. Speaking of Avril, here she is with another ballad that sounds just like her other ballads. Oddly enough, her fast songs all sound about the same too. Instead of the faux cheerleader bop of “Girlfriend”, now it’s a somber and sad ballad from the all grown-up and newly-married Avril. Nice song, but ditch the raccoon eye makeup. It’s hard to take you seriously with that much eyeliner on.

9.4 In The Morning, by Gwen Stefani. I love her to death. She could use a couple pounds on her, but I still love her to death. I like her stuff more so without her No Doubt bandmates as of late. She’s got great pop sensibility and a great voice to boot. Not exactly manly-man music, but we’re all allowed an occasional guilty pleasure.

10.A Bay Bay, by Hurricane Chris. Okay, I take back what I said earlier; THIS is the most repetitive pile of goat shit I’ve heard since Laffy Taffy. By the end of the first 30 seconds I wanted to slit my elbows.

11. I Don’t Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem), by Good Charlotte. These guys keep surprising me by re-inventing themselves each time they get played out. This is a great song. A good mix of rock swagger and synth riffs that gives me hope for Top 40 music to not suck so much. Poppy punk with a safe feel.

So, an hour of my life gone, and like I figured, most of it wasn’t worth the listening. I think I’ll go and listen to some Erasure or Depeche Mode now to soothe the pain in my soul. I urge you to do the same.

It's Crumbelievable....

It’s always sad to see your favorite songs from your teen years get whored out to advertise crappy products in commercials. It’s just a weak-assed attempt by ad makers pandering to my generation of now-grownup alternative/new-wave music fans and use our sacred icons to pry the money from our wallets. Couldn’t they just get Barry Manilow to write a shitty jingle, like he did for Dr. Pepper?

These are in contrast to songs that actually became popular after they were in commercials, notably the Mitsubishi commercials that made pop songs out of "Days Go By" by Dirty Vegas and "Breathe" by Telepopmusik. I'd never heard of either song prior to the commercials.

A few years ago I was appalled that Depeche Mode’s “Just Can’t Get Enough” was being used in a GAP ad. I thought Mode would never sell out, and then it occurred to me that DM doesn’t own that song; Vince Clarke does. He wrote it and owns it, so it was his right to make money off it. Sad that he used it in such a shitty way, advertising crap clothes on underfed children. In 2004 the song again was used, to sell the Hyundai Accent, though I never saw that ad. Earlier this year, the song was also used in commercials and trailers for the mediocre Hugh Grant/Drew Barrymore film “Music and Lyrics”, but the song appears NOWHERE in the movie. It was merely bait. I’m not against my favorite music artists having songs in movies, not at all. But to just be used as bait? That’s sad.

Robert Smith of The Cure allowed “I Dig You” (a track done under the name Cult Hero) to be used by Monster.com, but I seem to have missed that one too, and in order to get support for their Connect The Dots box set, he allowed HP to use “Pictures of You” in an ad about photo editing. I almost choked on my tongue when the Basement Jaxx started selling Pringles tater chips with "Where's Your Head At?"

U2 whored out the song “Vertigo” for the Apple iPod and the U2 special iPod.. Back in the late 90’s, Mazda butchered the classic song by The Nails, “88 Lines about 44 Women”, to sell cars. The Ramones let Nissan, AT&T, and Diet Pepsi use “Blitzkrieg Bop”. Devo was desperate enough to let Swiffer kill “Whip It”. Noted Christian darlings Sixpence None the Richer amusingly let their cover of The La’s song “There She Goes” be used to sell birth control pills. Wendy’s ruined the classic Violent Femmes track “Blister In the Sun” (as well as using Benny Benassi’s thumping club hit “Satisfaction”). Iggy Pop’s “Lust for Life is all over the place, most notably selling Caribbean cruises (and Fords in the UK). Also in the UK, Iggy’s song “The Passenger” was used to sell Toyotas and Fiats. Now his song "Punkrocker" is selling Cadillacs, too.

The The sold freakin’ M&M’s with “This Is The Day”, a song that has nothing to do with candy and everything to do with getting your shit together. Cell phones were sold by Goldfrapp's "Ooh La La" and the Psychedelic Furs classic "Pretty In Pink". New Order let “Blue Monday” be used in the UK to sell Mars bars and Sunkist, and recently must have been hard up for cash I guess, because in the span of the last couple weeks they had “Age of Consent” selling AT&T, and when I heard “Bizarre Love Triangle” selling Reese’s peanut butter cups I was almost apoplectic..

And, sadly, the classic “I Melt With You”, the only legitimate hit by Modern English, has been used everywhere, hawking everything from Burger King to the GMC Acadia and T-Mobile (as a cover version by a shitty French band), to Taco Bell Cheesy Beef Melts. The song has been sold as a cover version to dozens of people.

But perhaps the cheesiest and most soul-crushing use of a classic alternative-ish song from my younger days was when Kraft turned EMF’s club anthem “Unbelieveable” into the melting-cheese crapfest that became…get this…I shit you not…CRUMBELIEVABLE. Kill me now, please. I beseech thee.

Soundtrack To My Life

The Lightning Man’s MojoSteve Soundtrack:

It’s no secret to anyone who’s known me for more than 17 seconds that music is one of my absolute true loves. I can associate so many songs with pivotal moments in my life, and for so many songs I can tell you exactly where I was & even in some cases what I was wearing when I first heard it.

Truth be told, I agonized over this list. Some of the songs came easily, the first 8 or 9. Then I started to think of more songs that were important to me. I wanted a list of 10 songs, then it became 20, 25, and then I thought 37 songs, one for each year of my life…I ended up with a list over 50 songs long.

So, here’s a list of my defining tunes; a soundtrack to my life, per se, if you will.



1.Enjoy The Silence- Depeche Mode
It’s an obvious choice. My most favorite song ever. I never get sick of it. It’s the one song in the known universe that my friends can hear & instantly think of me. If ever I had a signature song, this is it. It brings back so many great memories, in addition to being a great track.

And the rest of the songs are in no particular order. Not all the songs will receive lengthy comments.

2. Just Like Heaven—The Cure
How can people say the Cure’s music is always doom & gloom? Not hardly. This song has a timeless beauty to it, and always makes me smile.
3. Dreamlike State---Erasure
Simple, beautiful, and yet layered in a complex cascade of yumminess. Erasure is one of the best synth-pop acts ever, and have been so overlooked that it's nigh-on criminal.
4. There Is A Light That Never Goes Out---The Smiths
Sure, you don’t think of Morrissey as a romantic guy, but the song is so plaintive.It yanks at your heart-strings.
5. Vanishing Point---New Order
Awesome beats & complex layers of tracks, but the chorus is the killer. “I’ve seen what a man can do; I’ve seen all the hate of a woman too.”
6. One—U2
It’s achingly beautiful and emotional. Probably the best U2 track ever.
7. Red Letter Day---Pet Shop Boys
It was hard to think of just one PSB track, but this is bouncy and happy yet carries a great message of love & hope.
8. Fall On Me---REM
One of my first REM songs. Along with South Central Rain, this song got me into REM. There was this douchebag in high school who said REM was *his* band and that I wasn’t cool enough to listen to them because I liked Depeche Mode. What a fucking tool. Last I heard he was getting beat up by the U-Maine rugby team on a regular basis.
9. The Scientist/Fix You---Coldplay
Okay, so it’s really two songs from 2 different cd’s. But these songs are so sad and mournful and brilliantly gorgeous. Listening to them back to back, if you have a dry eye by the end, you’re a cold, cold creature.
10. Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go?---Soft Cell
Hell, how can anyone not dig this song? It was one of the first synthpop songs, and it was critical in forging my love of synth music. Catchy keyboard riffs and it guarantees to get you dancing. Get me some eyeliner!
11. Wishing (If I Had a Photograph Of You)---A Flock of Seagulls
The Flock were never appreciated in their time. They also helped get me into the alternative music scene.
12. Only You---Yazoo
This was supposed to be a Depeche Mode song but it turned out even better with Alison Moyet’s vocals. Another great synthpop song of love lost.
13. Forever Young---Alphaville
Whether the original ballad or the club version, this song is just incredible. It was the only reason I thought Napoleon Dynamite was worth watching.
14. I Melt With You---Modern English
Granted, this song is overplayed now. I hear it every day it seems., thanks to those wretched 80’s Lunches on every top 40 station. Back in 1983, only the coolest of cool people knew the song and had the album it came from, in addition to the soundtrack to Valley Girl, which made the song famous. The song itself was my measuring point for what a cool date was…if the date was so awesome it made me think of this song, it was a memorable date.
15. Love My Way/The Ghost In You---Psychedelic Furs
Again, you have to play them together to fully appreciate the magic of these songs. Forget "Pretty In Pink"; these are the true great Furs’ songs.
16. Cuts You Up---Peter Murphy
You have to listen to this at 3AM, driving under a full moon, letting the violin and Peter’s rich voice meld together to suck you under…
17. The Killing Moon---Echo & The Bunnymen
Also a good one to listen to at night, but preferably with the lights out, laying on the bed, staring at glow-in-the-dark stars. It also will suck you under. Play this and Cuts You Up back to back....wow.
18. Let Me Go!---Heaven 17
One of the quintessential dance tracks of my time in Germany.
19. Bittersweet---Big Head Todd & The Monsters
A great song about being miserable in a relationship and neither of you know quite what to do to fix it. "We work our way around each other..."
20. Never Tear Us Apart---INXS
Achingly beautiful. The last song to make the saxophone cool.
21. Possession---Sarah McLachlan
Almost sinister, yet mesmerizing.
22. Love Will Tear Us Apart---Joy Division
So what if it’s on every essential list of the 80’s? It’s there for a reason.
23. 88 Lines About 44 Women---The Nails
The dude is singing praises about 44 women he’s screwed. Everyone who was worth hanging out with in the 80’s knew this song by heart. It was the coolest in-joke ever.
24. Troy---Sinead O’Connor
Long before she conquered the universe with Nothing Compares 2 U, the girl with the most powerful voice in Ireland was blowing me away.
25. Under The Milky Way---The Church
Another song to listen to in the darkest hours. Any song with bagpipes has to be good, don’tcha think?
26. If I Had $1,000,000.00---Barenaked Ladies
My first BNL song. Absolute genius at its wittiest. Dijon Ketchup!
27. Adam’s Song---Blink 182
It reminds me of a friend who died.
28. Any Little Town---The Push Stars
Hard to believe I discovered this awesome song on the store Muzak in an Eddie Bauer at the mall.
29. Hum---The Shiela Divine
TSD is what Nirvana could have been if they’d had talent & wrote decent songs and Cobain could sing. Along with the Push Stars, some of the best unknown talent in Boston.
30. Headhunter---Front242
One of the greatest electronic body music songs ever. Period. This is what techno should have been if the kids on X hadn’t taken over.
31. Lightning Man---Nitzer Ebb
The song that spawned my alter ego. Baby! Come to Daddy!
32. October Love Song---Chris & Cosey
Part spoken word, part lullaby, completely gorgeous.
33. Du Hast---Rammstein
I first heard this song sitting in my car in a Boston suburb, and I was totally hooked. Of course, I actually knew what the words were too, which helped. The perfect song to play when stuck in traffic.
34. Modigliani (Lost In Your Eyes)---Book Of Love
One of the most under-rated synthpop acts ever. Another song you can’t get enough of.
35. Books on the Bonfire---The Bolshoi
An incredibly powerful song that brings the novel Fahrenheit 451 to life.
36. This Is The Day---The The
I love the opening lines: Well... you didn't wake up this morning,'cause you didn't go to bed. You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red……
37. Solsbury Hill---Peter Gabriel
A timeless classic. It always reminds me of a time when I felt I didn’t quite fit in anywhere, and in my head I was like, so what?
38. Holiday In Cambodia---Dead Kennedys
The song that gave me an outlet for teen angst & anger, and I wore the t-shirt at graduation under my cap & gown.
39. Mad World---Tears For Fears
Forget Shout. Forget Everybody Wants To Rule The World. This was their best song, long before they got huge.
40. Rock The Bells---LL Cool J
One of the greatest hip hop songs ever. I was 16, and here was this kid, also 16, tossing these unbelievable rhymes. And it made me think, if he can do it at 16, hell, I can do anything too.
41. Moments In Love---Art Of Noise
This song is epic. A trip across the mindscape in an ocean of bliss.
42. The Band Played Walzting Matilda---The Pogues
Me and my inner circle in Germany, walking across the base on a Friday night, a bit intoxicated, all of us singing this song together. And then we run into the base chaplain, walking with the Archbishop of San Fransisco. And all we could think of was , wow, that’s a HUGE cross that dude’s wearing.
43. Love Is a Stranger---Eurythmics
While everyone else was over-playing Sweet Dreams, I was listening to a much cooler song.
44. Why?/Small Town Boy---Bronski Beat
A screaming falsetto layered over great synths. Maybe it’s an acquired taste?
45. Head Like A Hole---Nine Inch Nails
This song single-handedly kept me sane when I was sent to Fort Riley in 1990. I’m proud to say I was into NIN before it was cool & trendy.
46. Here’s Where The Story Ends---The Sundays
A gorgeous little gem by a band that should have gotten a lot bigger.
47. Paul Revere---The Beastie Boys
I was 17 and impressionable. And the Beasties ruined me.
48. This Corrosion/Lucretia My Reflection---Sisters of Mercy
Sweeping epic Goth operatic opus that makes me yearn for a leather jacket and black boots
49. Sandstorm---Darude
Perhaps the most absolute perfect techno dance club track to drive a hunnert miles an hour to.
50. Love is a Shield---Camouflage
Great dance-pop from Germany. They deserved to get bigger, but people thought they sounded too much like Depeche Mode I guess.