New Music Post Over at The Savvy Guyde

Hey guys, I just did a spring special new music post over at my other blog, The Savvy Guyde, where I've suggested some great new springtime tunes for your listening pleasure and a couple tunes to flat out avoid. Go show me and your ear-holes some love. Thanks!

Taking a look at Top 40 music again

It's been quite a while (August maybe?) since I last perused the Billboard music charts to see what passes for popular music these days. As we all well know, I tend to avoid Top 40 radio like Taylor Swift avoids long-term commitments. Occasionally, however, I punish myself by listening in to at least stay somewhat current and feel less like the middle-aged guy who clings to his 80's New Wave with white knuckles.

So, I decided to check the Billboard top 40 chart and see what dreck & drivel the empty suits at the record labels are currently passing off on the masses.
 

Selina Gomez-- Come And Get It
Forever tainted by the evil touch of Satan, ie: Justin Bieber, Gomez has been performing this track on any show that will book her, from the MTV Movie Awards to Ellen to Dancing With The Stars and in pretty much every case she's in some mock Indian sari getup with dancers of various ethnicity decorated with a bindi, because all you need is a red dot on your forehead to make you an authentic Indian in Gomez' world. I'll assume the reason for the pseudo-Indian garb is the bhangra beat to the chorus. The song isn't completely terrible but honestly, if I want Indian I'll go authentic with the 2000 track "Darshan" by B21.Selina, dear, stay away from that Bieber chick. She's trouble.





Feel This Moment-- Pitbull featuring Christina Aguilera
One has no hair, the other has hair like old straw. One wears a tailored suit, the other looks like a leather sausage. This sounds pretty much like the last Pitbull song I heard, the same rap cadence of lines over a remixed sample of a classic song. Last time it was Mickey & Sylvia's "Love Is Strange" and this time the creativity is provided by A-ha's "Take On Me". At least Christina keeps the caterwauling to a minimum and refrains from yodeling vocal runs.



Justin Timberlake--Suit & Tie
Christ, this song is inescapable. On a good day my car radio can pick up five or six Top 40 and/or A/C stations and I swear to Gawd, I heard this on every single one of them in a 30 minute span. I think JT is a decent actor and a very funny guy, and I respect him musically but this new throwback soul style is utter crap. Plus, I detest Jay-Z.



Rihanna featuring Mikky Ekko--Stay
There seems to be an unwritten law that says every 90 days there must be a new Rihanna single whether we want one or not. A ballad, damn near a funereal dirge, pretty enough but after a bit it just seems to drag. Never heard of this Ekko fellow before (born John Stephen Sudduth) but his voice is actually a bit higher than hers here. At least she's spending time with a guy who isn't using her as a punching bag...



Psy--Gentleman
Well, we all thought Park Jae-sang, better known as Psy, was going to be a one hit wonder after Gangnam Style took the universe by storm last summer. While not as instantly catchy as his last single, this one's video is just as amusing, with Psy being basically a dick to everyone he meets.



Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Wanz-- Thrift Shop
This song is effing ridonkulous but gets in your head & stays there like a recurring yeast infection on a 2-dollar hooker. A rapping white kid going on about buying second-hand clothes at Goodwill. He does make the valid point about a-holes wearing $50 designer t-shirts thinking they're unique till they see 5 others wearing the same shirt at a club.



Pink featuring Nate Ruess-- Just Give Me a Reason
I've always adored Pink. She's badass. This is one of her finest vocal performances, with help from the guy who sings for the band fun., whom I have previously  been wrong about when I guessed they'd fade into obscurity as quickly as they appeared. However, like all Pink songs, this is getting played ad nauseum, so I'm already bored with it.



Icona Pop--I Love It
I just heard this song for the first time a couple days ago and really liked it. It's great technopop dance music from Sweden and hopefully it won't get ruined by overplay. Finally, something on the Top 40 chart I can get into. I dare you to sit still while listening.



So.....what else SHOULD you be listening to?

Capital Cities-- Safe and Sound
Found this gem by accident listening to Sirius and it was love at first listen. Great beats, catchy hooks, impossible to sit still while listening. This is my new jam for Spring. Even features live trumpet instead of a sample, and it really makes the song. This is just one of several clever videos out there for this song.




The Airborne Toxic Event--Timeless
Another accidental finding on Sirius. A few years back I fell head over heels with their song "Sometime Around Midnight" and even named it one of the best songs of 2008. This one grows on you quickly.



Radioactive/It's Time--Imagine Dragons
Took me awhile to finally get into these guys. I've been let down by so many newer alternative/modern rock bands that I'm reluctant to get into bands that are heavily hyped on alternative radio. Both of these songs are really great.





Tegan & Sara--Closer
Twin sisters Tegan and Sara Quin have been around awhile, an indie staple and a closely guarded secret of sorts.  I think I first heard them in 2004 with their song "Where Does The Good Go". This is a great pop track that should break them huge. Catch them opening for fun. this summer.



And, of course, there's new Depeche Mode.....

The new album is called Delta Machine, and while I'm sad that it wasn't close to the glory that was "Violator" there are some good tracks on it, and the new single is in my opinion the best track of the whole CD. Whereas the first single "Heaven" was an austere minimal ballad, "Soothe My Soul" is a dancefloor stomper with a dark, murky, sensual edge, just the way a Depeche Mode song should be. Play it LOUD, friends, and see what a 32-year career as the cutting edge of music brings to the table.







And if you want to read savage and scathing reviews of previous Top 40 offerings, go here, here, here, here, here, and here.

This week in music only half sucks...

Sometimes I’m a bit surprised at how quickly a song can mysteriously hit the top of the Top 40 charts with minimal airplay. I think it may have something to do with this being the digital age of downloads and when a song becomes available it can become #1 damn near instantly. When people want their mediocrity, they want it FAST.

A shining example is this week’s release of “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” by elfin pop/country crossover chanteuse Taylor Swift. Billboard said on Wednesday that the infectiously catchy song was already among the 40 most-played tunes on U.S. radio just two days after being released. The song went to the top of iTunes’ Top 25 in the United States just an hour after it was released on Monday, and has since reached No. 1 in Australia, Canada, Brazil, Finland and 20 other nations.

The song itself is typical Swift material, dreamy lamentations that sound like a 13-year old’s diary entries, this time sounding more like Avril Lavigne but without the cheerleader kitsch that Avril seems so fond of. I’ve only heard it three times so far this week, and I think by the fifth I will detest it.

After doing really well on the UK charts, Flo Rida brings us what very well may be his first hit single without a guest vocalist, called “Whistle”. Of course, he whistles on it, and the slower tempo and acoustic guitar is interesting for a few seconds, but over all I was bored with it because, of course, deep down it’s pop crap. Of course, it went to #1 immediately.

I often wear enormous gold chains to the beach so that they can weigh me down in the water...

Another one that hit the top five almost overnight was when Katy Perry released what might be the 436^th single from her last album. Seriously; I think she has released the entire effing album as individual singles over the past two years. “Wide Awake” is the eighth single from her 2010 album “Teenage Dream”. It’s a decent song, quite likeable, as is Katy herself when she’s not adding extra syllables into words to lengthen them to fit the beat scheme of a song. However, as is the case with anything on Top 40 pop radio, they play the living crap out of it.

How many different single covers does a song really need?

I had a feeling that the band fun., who brought us “We Are Young” was going to be a one-hit wonder but it seems they are proving me wrong. They did release a second single, “Some Nights”,and as I predicted, I don’t really like it. I can’t exactly put my finger on it as to why. Maybe it sounds too much like Simon & Garfunkel’s 1970 song “Cecilia”, which I never liked either. Or it could be that radio is spinning it every 27 minutes, thus compounding a bad situation.

Back in June, I mentioned the new single from Owl City, called “Shooting Star”, and while I have been scathingly critical of Owl City in the past as being estrogenic, testosterone-free sugar-frosted rubbish, I thought this new song of theirs was pretty good. Of course, I never heard it on the radio, not once. Instead, radio is now playing a song called “Good Time”, a duet between Owl City and ……grrrrrrr…annoying bubbly sugary saccharine-soaked Carly Rae Jepsen, the little waif who tortures me non-stop with that pukefest “Call Me Maybe”. If I were 14 again, and all my freshman friends were jamming to this in the back of mom’s minivan on the way to the mall, I’d still say it sucked and lapse into a sugar coma.

This song sucks and we know it.

Everyone’s favorite in-your-face girl, Pink, returns from a childbirth and mommyhood break with another really fun middle finger salute to life with Blow Me (One Last Kiss). I love Pink. She’s fun, she’s quirky, she’s different, and she has a great voice. And pop radio usually plays each song to death & ruins it for me. I best enjoy it while I can.

Over the years I’ve gotten used to being sorely disappointed by most of what comes out of American Idol. So few of the kids who make the Top 10 from Idol actually A) succeed, B) are worth a damn, C) are relevant 12 months later. After 10 seasons, of the 100 kids from the Top 10 finalists, there’s maybe, what, 5 bonafide stars? And maybe another 10 tops who had a second album or had a charted single? This year’s winner was Philip Phillips (why? Why, parents? Seriously?) and while I liked him as a person, with his shy “aw-shucks” charm, I found his songs to all sound the same on the show; forcibly quirky covers that sounded like he was doing his best Dave Matthews impersonations. It really made me feel the kid, though likeable, was a one-trick pony. At least he has a single out already, only a couple months after winning this year’s competition. I’ve always said that they take way too much time putting out material from the winners and that by the time they get heard from again the fickle, 2-minute-attention-span music audience in America has moved on to the next flavor of the minute and the Idol winner is no longer relevant.

This debut single from Phil² is “Home”, and at first I had no idea it was him. In fact, I’d forgotten completely that he sang it on the season finale when he won. It’s a likeable song, with Phil² channeling his best Mumford & Sons impersonation over what sounds like a Coldplay backing vocal from a lost B-side track. I’m trying my best to not get sick of hearing it, but it’s getting a lot of airplay on multiple station formats and by next week will likely be in the Top 5.

This past week I’ve found a song creeping into regular airplay rotations on pop radio that had been a #1 for a few weeks on the Alternative charts, “Tongue Tied” by the band Grouplove. It’s catchy in the way that “We Are Young” was, and also rides that precarious ledge of being easy to get tired of if heard too often. In fact, the vocals kinda remind me of the singer from fun. (Nate Ruess) singing a Modest Mouse song with some Peter Hook bass riffs from a long-forgotten New Order track in the background, and a bridge in the middle that was borrowed from Paul Oakenfold’s “Starry Eyed Surprise”.

Also getting some regular airplay is “Too Close” by Alex Clare. You’ve been hearing it for months in snippets on the commercials for Internet Explorer and it’s finally taking the world by storm. It’s best when played really loud, a brilliant mix of acoustic guitars and dubstep synth beats, with some rather powerful vocals. This track is getting a lot of plays on my MP3 player and in my car. 

Yes, all that voice comes out of that unassuming guy...

After a bit of a hiatus, No Doubt is back with “Settle Down”, a quirky track with a bit of a reggae feel, not a real stretch considering when they started, No Doubt had serious ska influences. This is the lead single off their first new album in 11 years, and while it struck me as a bit odd at first, it’s quickly become one of my current favorite tracks. Almost 43, and with two kids (with the obligatory silly Hollywood names), and Gwen Stefani is still one of the hottest babes in alternative music. I’m looking forward to hearing the rest of the album.

Finally, well over a year after releasing their last single “The Sun” while working on their new album, Shiny Toy Guns finally released a second new single, “Waiting Alone” ahead of the October release of their long-awaited and highly anticipated third album, to be simply called “III”. It follows the tried & true STG formula of back & forth shared vocals between Chad Petree and Carah Faye, and Carah has never sounded better. I’m a huge fan of Shiny Toy Guns and can’t wait for the full album. I’ve loved both of their new songs from the sessions so far.

Another song that finally grew on me is “Give Me Something” by the band Scars on 45. I’ve been hearing it for what feels like months on my local Adult Contemporary station. It sounds rather folk-ish at first but has really nice melodies and harmonies. The acoustic side of indie rock isn’t my usual fare but when regular pop music and most alternative music sucks so badly, one must branch out and broaden one’s horizons. 

Surprisingly, the new one from The Killers hasn’t caught fire with me yet. I’ve been a big fan of the Vegas quartet since their debut single in 2004. Usually their singles grab me & shake me violently to get my attention but so far “Runaways” is still just a few more listens away from really captivating me. Maybe it’s the four-year break since their last album, which was a bit hit or miss with me. The jury is sorta still out on it, so check back with me.

And freshly released is "I Will Wait", the much-anticipated new single from Mumford & Sons, ahead of the album "Babel", coming out next month. I am of the opinion that there is no such thing as a bad song from these guys. Every song is a soaring triumph.

 

And in future music news:

After the understated success and critical acclaim of their single “Winner”, timed to accompany the Olympics and paired up with diverse B-sides like a musical version of Rudyard Kipling’s poem“The Way Through The Woods” and a cover of the Bee Gees’ “I Started a Joke” as a tribute to the late Robin Gibb, Pet Shop Boys will release their eleventh studio album “Elysium” in a couple weeks. 

It looks like an April 2013 release for the new album from Depeche Mode, and the latest news is that there are over 20 songs being worked on, Ben Hillier is producing it, and the legendary Flood is mixing it. There continue to be deeply underground rumors surrounding some sort of collaboration with former Mode member Alan Wilder on the project as well. And I can’t wait to get it.

It's June 2012 and Top 40 STILL sucks...

It’s been a while since I last wrote about the dreadful state of what gets classified as “popular music” here in the USA. I’m firmly convinced that Top 40 is a microcosm of everything that is wrong with humanity. Empty, hollow, meaningless drivel from people with no real discernable talent, fed through Auto Tune and rolled in powdered sugar. No nutritional value but it looks good.

So…let’s wander through the Billboard Top 40 and see what nuggets of crap we discover.

10. Glad You Came—The Wanted

Thanks, England. Just what we needed; another pre-programmed pointless boy band. Now that The Backstreet Boys and Nsync are all grown up and forgotten, the next wave hits our shores. Sadly, these kids aren’t even all that good-looking and the songwriting is wretched, like something written by a 7^th grader. “So have another drink, drink it if you can…”  and it's plastered on top of some rehashed Latin accordion riff. Total crap. 

 9. Where Have You Been? – Rihanna

The hit factory that churns out a new single from Rihanna every three months seems to have hit a wall. That, or I am just completely worn out on her. She’s a talented kid but I’m so tired of her. I like lobster but if you eat it every day you soon tire of even that. The main riff of this little ditty is taken directly from a #1 Country single, the 1962 Hank Snow song “I’ve Been Everywhere” (which in itself is taken from a 1959 song written by Geoff Mack) . Creativity is dead so resurrect ancient country songs and add a backbeat. Sounds like a winner.

 8. Boyfriend – Justin Bieber

Undeniable, incontrovertible proof that Canada holds us in low esteem. When will this kid go away? This is 2:52 of your life that you will never, ever get back. Now that he’s turned 18 and engaging in fisticuffs with paparazzi the Beebster is trying for a sultry seductive sound, just what his 13-year old fan base needs...or is he now trying to bed their minivan-driving moms?

 7. Flo Rida featuring Sia – Wild Ones

 I’ve heard worse. I actually don't hate this one yet. Flo Rida has pumped out a slew of uber-catchy pop-rap tracks that feature his rapid-fire raps paired with a pop hook sung by pop divas like Ke$ha and Nicole Scherzinger or a guest appearrance by a DJ like David Guetta. This time it’s Australian pop chanteuse Sia crooning in between the rap lines. Sia has been around for awhile but mostly unheard in the States, and with her releasing a new album & single recently this track will probably help it out a lot.

 6. What Makes You Beautiful – One Direction

The other pre-fab boy band from the UK in the Top 10. Less annoying than the afore-slagged “Glad You Came”, with the band being younger and prettier, like little Bieber-esque clones. That said, I’d still rather have a gall bladder attack than be subjected to this.

 5. Starships – Nicki Minaj

Known more for her amazing curves, neon makeup/wig/clothes combo and monotone goofy rap style, Nicki actually can sing and when she does so, her voice is actually rather melodic. There’s so many different styles mixed into this track though that it’s almost confused, starting with the trademark goofy rap and then nonsensical party lyrics, and then after the family-friendly line “We’re higher than a motherfucker” (which has been garbled for radio play) we get this aggro-techno beat. I shudder to think of how many teen boys have made the fap-fap-fap to the video to this song.

 4. We Are Young –Fun. (featuring Janelle Monae)

This song has been kicking around since last September and got lots of airplay on alternative stations like KROQ in Los Angeles. It was featured in a Chevy Sonic ad during the Super Bowl and then it just went haywire. I started playing it in maybe March, and loved it, and then Top 40 radio started to play it every 56 minutes ad nauseum. Now I cringe when I hear the opening drums. It’s a great, infectious party anthem with an amusing, clever video, but I’ve heard it wayyyy too many times now. Sadly, I also think this will be their sole big hit.

 3. Payphone –Maroon 5 (featuring Wiz Khalifa)

I’m actually kinda sick of hearing Adam Levine’s falsetto. After that ri-donk-u-lous “Moves Like Jagger” crapfest with a screaming Christina Aguilera), America’s youth are now confusedly Googling the word “payphone” to find out what this ancient relic of a bygone era is, since with the advent of cell phones most people under 30 have likely never seen a payphone, phone booth, or a phone with a cord. I dislike this song so much that I’m pretty sure I’ve never even heard it all the way through, as I change the channel as soon as it comes on.

                        Adam, what's that strange box you're in and are you calling Carly Rae? 

 2. Call Me Maybe –Carly Rae Jepsen

                                       Anyone who wears socks & heels should be throat-punched...

Still further proof that Canada hates us. To recreate this song, go over to your cat’s litter box and scoop out a turd. Place the turd on the kitchen counter and roll it in sugar. Then take that sugar- coated shit and cram it into a cd player. Repeat till insanity strikes. This song is a dentist’s wet dream as it’s so syrupy your teeth will rot as you listen. “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, so here’s my number, so call me maybe”. Wretched. “Before you came into my life I missed you so bad, I missed you so so bad”…um, wait a second, Princess; how can you miss someone you’d never met?

Somebody That I Used To Know – Gotye featuring Kimbra

I guess I first heard this for myself a couple months ago. I’d been reading about this mysterious Gotye person (Belgian-Aussie Wouter "Wally" De Backer) but hadn’t heard anything from him till I caught it in the car as I was channel surfing. Heard that the song was gaining popularity via the quirky video. Yeah, the video is interesting, Kimbra is cute and has a nice voice, and the song as a whole is refreshingly different from standard Top 40 drivel. But….and there’s always a but……the song is EVERYWHERE. It’s inescapable. Death, taxes, Gotye. I also think this will be another one-hitter. In the meanwhile, I’ll still have to deal with hearing this every 34 minutes.

So, what ELSE is there to listen to? Of course I can’t bash Top 40 without giving you some sort of alternative to what the industry is force feeding everyone.

Blood for Poppies—Garbage

First track off their long-awaited album “Not Your Kind of People”. It’s got that grinding groove that Garbage is famous for and Shirley Manson could sing the phone book and I’d listen.

No Light, No Light –Florence and the Machine

Another ethereal, pounding track from the juggernaut that is FloMa. I was slow in getting aboard the FloMa Train but I’m glad I finally boarded. 

Midnight City – M83

French band M83 have been around for most of the 2000s, but I really only knew them from remixing the 2006 Depeche Mode single “Suffer Well”. 

Shooting Star –Owl City

In the past I have been extremely critical of Owl City as being syrupy & estrogenic. This single is much more danceable and thumping. I’m willing to give them a second chance.

And in other snippets: Erasure’s live album from their recent Tomorrow’s World tour is available from the band’s website. There is a new album on the way from Pet Shop Boys. The Cure added guitarist Reeves Gabrels to the lineup for a slew of outdoor festival dates this summer. UK duo Tenek are recording a new album. Shiny Toy Guns have finished their new album and are preparing for the release. And, finally, Depeche Mode are back in the studio working on another new album and according to singer Dave Gahan things are going really well. 

So, while Top 40 music may be in the sewer, there are still good bands out there making good music.

Y'know, Top 40 Music still sucks.

It’s been awhile since I last forayed into the crapfest of Top 40 music. Mostly because it all sounds the same pretty much, and I had precious little to offer you guys as an alternative to what I was finding. I forced myself to sit through the Top Twenty Countdown on Fuse-TV, and coupled it with some time spent suffering through some Top 40 radio.

Ke$ha—Your Love Is The Drug

Heard this for the first time yesterday, and hourly thereafter. She actually sings on this song, like with actual melodies & stuff. Usually she just prattles on with inanery, rhyming the words “toes”, “clothes”, and “phones”, and using the phrase “Blah blah blah” as an actual chorus.She usually looks like she just woke up behind the dumpster with Lindsay Lohan, vying with Britney Spears for Miss White Trash 2010 at the Happy Acres Trailer Park. A couple weeks ago she was on American Idol & it was excruciating. This weekend she was on Saturday Night Live and was much improved. Her performance of “Your Love Is The Drug” was qute fascinating, done in black lights and painted up in neon tribal regalia.

I pronounce it "Keh-Dollar Sign-Huh". She's come for your male children.

Ludacris, featuring Nicki Minaj—My Chick Bad

Looks like Luda scraped together a song based on bad rhymes found on a bathroom wall. Not the usual clever stuff he puts out. I guess all those sessions of wasting rhymes guesting on every third song released in the last two years (much like that talentless asshat Kanye West) has taken its toll on the creativity of one Chris Bridges, AKA Ludacris. Really crappy vocal effects don’t help either. They also didn’t help his previous song “How Low ”, with it’s annoying repetitive Chipmunk lyrics. In the video, Minaj comes across like a hoodrat version of Lady GaGa under a black light.

Hey, Nick, does GaGa know you stole her makeup kit?

Lil Wayne—Drop The World

What? I thought he was in jail? Nothing like releasing singles while incarecerated. I know they had to hurry up & record that abortion of a remake of “We Are The World” so he could rap over top of it before reporting to jail on a gun charge (after another delay of dental surgery on his bejeweled teeth). This song’s pretty damned forgettable; so forgettable I had to look it up on YouTube again just to remind myself what I heard. Nothing like stellar lyrics that include “Yeah I could die now, re-birf, hop in my space ship & leave Earf” and a chorus that claims “I’ma pick the world up and I’ma drop it on your fuckin’ head” . Eminem saves the song from being totally swept under the rug like a dustbunny with a guest shot, with angry speed-rhyming towards the end of the song. I guess Em needed to rebuild some street cred after a long absence that saw him gain a lot of weight & pretty much lose most of his musical relevance. Looks like he hit the gym & is mounting a comeback. Oh, boy. The Clown Prince of Thugnificence returns.

Young Money—Bed Rock

Utter bile. Schoolhouse crap and sugar coated rap with some truly lame lyrics. “Call me Mister Flinstone; I can make your Bed Rock”. Seriously. WTF? My dachshund could write better material. Kill me.

Jay-Z, featuring Mr. Hudson—Young Forever

I’m patently offended. From the opening notes, I thought this was going to be a cover of the gorgeous 80’s synthpop track “Forever Young” by Alphaville. That turned into disappointment as the vocals of the “Forever Young” chorus were butchered a bit by an obscure British R&B wannabe trying to work a faux reggae feel. Then my disappointment turned to horror as Jay-Z, tied neck & neck with Kanye as Over-rated Rap Star of the New Millenium babbled overtop the samples. I had to put drops of bleach in my ears afterwards to clean the audio poison out.

Taio Cruz featuring Ludacris—Break Your Heart

This one isn’t completely unlistenable; however in about a week’s time I’ll want to jam a sewing needle in my eyeball as soon as it comes on. The musical tracks are really good electronica, and would have made the foundation of a good synthpop club track until Luda raps over the top and Cruz repetitively reminds us that he’s only gonna break break break break break your heart, whoaaahhhh.

Black Eyed Peas—Imma Be

I knew it couldn’t last. I knew they’d eventually release a turd off their latest album. They’d been doing pretty well with three smash singles in a row that were pretty good. But, a year later I’m over them and this song is just flat out annoying. Sprinkled with lame lyrics and an annoyingly repetitive “I’ma be I’ma be I’m a be” that just melts into a droning bumblebee bumblebee bumblebee….Saw them live on SNL and they sounded like shit. Saw them live on Idol and they sounded like shit. Hmmm, I detect a pattern here...

B.o.B. featuring Bruno Mars—Nothin’ On You

First listen is okay. Falsetto overtop of a jazzy drum & piano combo. The speedy delivery of the rap is okay at first listen too. It’s a fascinating hybrid. It’s melodic. There’s actual singing with a pleasant voice. If I only hear this a few times, it won’t be ruined. However, I know better; in 2 weeks I’ll despise it. Oops; too late. I hate it already. That’s how I roll.

Lady GaGa—Alejandro

At first I wasn’t sure this was GaGa. It wasn’t pretentious enough. I actually thought it was a comeback attempt by Ace of Base, the late 80’s answer to ABBA. This song is so utterly forgettable that it barely warrants my pithy comments.

Justin Bieber—Somebody To Love

If it wasn’t for Auto-Tune, this little 12-year old no-talent pube would still be back in middle school getting his head shoved in a toilet by bullies. Whoever gave this kid a contract should be kidney-punched. The other puddle of pabulum being pedled about by this pestilence is a song done with Sean Kingston called Eenie Meeney. I almost needed therapy after that one. “Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lovahhh”. Make it STOP!!!!

Let's see if they still like you after your testicles drop, kid. And get a haircut.

Need something else to listen to instead? Yeah, you do. Trust me…

Spose—I’m Awesome

Okay, this song is a bit of a tongue in cheek joke. Spose is a kid named Ryan Peters, from the town of Wells, Maine. Wells is about 40 miles north of where I went to high school, and is about as big as two WalMart parking lots combined. It’s probably more comical for me since I used to live there and can laugh about a deliberately awkward rap that mentions lobster rolls.

Versant—Push Away/Out of Touch

Versant is sort of still in its beginning phases. Both of these tracks are still ostensibly demo versions, but they’ll whet your taste buds for a full album when it’s finished. Versant’s front person is none other than former singer/bassist/keyboardist for Shiny Toy Guns, Carah Faye Charnow. Now based in Sweden with her new bandmates, Carah’s new project promises to be really good once it gets moving. They’re supposed to be releasing a debut EP almost any day now.

La Roux—Bulletproof

This is a deliciously fun bit of synthpop from singer Elly Jackson and synth guru Ben Langmaid. The song carries a huge Vince Clarke vibe, and really calls to mind early Depeche Mode, Yazoo, and Erasure. The video’s a trip too. It’s nigh on impossible to sit still listening to it.

Elly Jackson of LaRoux. This look is pretty tame for her....

And my “discovery” of the week is tenek, a band from the U.K. that is exactly what you electro fans have been looking for. Just two members strong, tenek is Pete Steer and Geoff Pinckney and they’ve managed to do what most modern electronic bands haven’t; they have a modern contemporary sound that reminds you of classic electronica circa 1988 to 1992 without sounding dated or past its prime. It’s fresh yet familiar, edgy enough to be modern but you instantly feel at home listening to it. They released a debut album, “Stateless” a year ago on the Toffeetones label, with two really good singles (“Submission” and “ Where’s the Time?”) and are primed to release a second album this summer. From the previews of the new tracks that I’ve heard, I’m really looking forward to it. Look for the new single “Blinded By You” to be released soon.