The Mysterious Redneck Renaissance

 
It finally occured to me that there's a serious glut of TV shows these days with a decidedly redneck slant to them. These are not confined to CMT or GAC, the standard country music oriented channels with shows like Redneck Island and My Big Fat Redneck Wedding and My Big Redneck Vacation. Not familiar with these? Redneck Island is like Survivor, but with rednecks and beer. The wedding show was hosted by Tom Arnold, of all people, and featured redneck couples around the nation putting on increasingly more bizarre and redneckier self-weddings. It started off funny and quickly became trite. I wrote about it back in 2008.  The vacation show was even worse, sending an entire extended clan to some exotic locale to get into pre-scripted contrived situations guaranteed to make Americans look like boorish oafs. As a man of Scots heritage, I especially cringed when this one group donned kilts to dine on haggis at a Scottish castle. Tartan was not meant to be worn like a beach towel accented by dilapidated work boots or Crocs and filthy socks.

Hosted by a pro-wrestler to give it credibility.

Wedding gifts include hubcaps for the house.

William Wallace is rolling in his grave.

Nowadays, if you scan the channels, at any given time of the day there are myriad shows extolling the virtues of rural living. One would think there's a Redneck Renaissance afoot, a hue and cry to a simpler life amongst the woods and streams and fresh air, tilling your garden and raising a family in a happy home.

Or not.

Certainly, no one can deny the glut of redneck-themed shows. However, I'm really starting to question the motivation behind the various networks in their mad rush to push out so many similar shows. Granted, a lot of it is pure greed and copycat lack of creativity. One network comes up with a show that's a money-maker and ratings winner, and the less creative competitors scramble to clone it with a twist. Explains why there are also a glut of home improvement/house flipping shows, talent competitions, and doing everything with the stars.

But (and there's always a but) I'm beginning to wonder how much of it is a concerted effort by the Lamestream Media and Big Hollyweird, controlled by elitist Liberal Leftist snobs and their ilk, to mock, marginalize, and portray the South and those akin to the traditional southern lifestyles as ignorant rubes and imbeciles.

Why? Because they are predominantly Red States that vote against Democrat candidates. They are folks in favor of the Second Amendment and the NRA. They are the folks who voted for Romney.

Think about it...look at the current crop of powerhouse Conservatives.....Rand Paul of Kentucky. Tim Scott and Jim DeMint of South Carolina. Ted Cruz of Texas. Marco Rubio of Florida. Most of the southern states have Republican governors now.

Republican governors in red....

So they'll flood the market with TV shows that by and large make southerners look so backwards and inbred that Leftist Sheeple will automatically discredit candidates for higher office who hail from the Sweet Tea Belt. And folks eat it right up, the dumber the better.

For example, MTV (long a brainwashing indoctrination channel for young liberals), they replaced Jersey Shore with the cracker-ass crackers of Buckwild.

There's the trailer park trash of Welcome to Myrtle Manor, embarrassingly filmed here in SC.

Nothing quite like grabbing giant catfish with your bare hands on Hillbilly Hand Fishin'...

And of course, the gene pool train wreck that is Honey Boo Boo and family. 'Nuff said.

In some cases though, the joke's on Hollywood. Take the guys from Duck Dynasty, for example. On the surface it looks like a passel of bearded cave men. However, they make money hand over fist from their duck calls in a business dominating their field since 1973. Patriarch Phil Roberston was a starting quarterback at Louisiana Tech, where his backup QB was some kid named Terry Bradshaw.

The gang from Swamp People are likewise laughing all the way to the bank, supplementing their haul of gators with year-long paid live appearances, hats, shirts, DVDs and other swag.

And while they may sound like they could barely tie their own shoes with their thick Alabama accents, the guys from Rocket City Rednecks are, indeed, true rocket scientists. Ringleader Travis S. Taylor holds a    B.E.E. in Electrical Engineering, from Auburn University, an M.S. in Physics from the University of Alabama, Huntsville, an M.S.E.in Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering from the University of Alabama, Huntsville, a Master's in Astronomy from the University of Western Sydney in Australia, a Ph.D. in Optical Science and Engineering from the University of Alabama, Huntsville and a second Ph.D. in Aerospace Systems Engineering from the University of Alabama, Huntsville. Last I checked, that was a Bachelor's, three Master's, and two doctorates. How many doctorates do you have?

Sorry to foil your plans, Hollywood. Undermining Conservatism by making Red Staters look stupid has backfired on you. Besides, half of us living in Red States escaped from Blue States and their failed socialist liberal regimes. Nice try, though.