Still a Douchebag, Belieb It Or Not: Answering more hate mail

Douchebag on Wheels

This week I received notice that another delusional Belieber had commented on my post from last year on the need to deport his ass back to the Great White North. If you missed my post on it, go here. If you missed the followup article, go here. If you wanna read my reply to the hate mail I got from someone named Ashley McCombs on the original article, go here.

This is the latest insipid craptatstical comment I got from a Gabbi Rakes.  Please ignore this kid's wretched spelling and grammar. Kids these days can use the Internet, but remain ignorant on grasping firmly a command of the English language. They even forget that most of their wondrous electronic devices have spell check and autocorrect.

    I'm with you sister I will always be a belieber. He's a good person and a great role model. He's only human he not perfect but he's not a bad person. People just fail to see the good in him. I don't agree with everything he does but he's a good person. He's not all the bad things people say about him. He's just like us. He does the same things every other teenager does. He's just noticed for it cuz of all the cameras in his face. If you really wonder what the difference between him and an regular teenager is. STOP WONDERING because there's NOT

  (insert chirping crickets here, followed by me laughing)

Seriously? People still defend this little twatwaffle. That blows me away.

When will you people realize he's almost as big a narcissistic douchecanoe as Kanye West?

He continually, with alarming repetitive frequency, engages in childish asshole behavior that some of you defend as him just being a kid/being a teenager/being 20 etcetera ad nauseum. Problem is, sunshine, that when you're a multimillionaire in the spotlight you don't get the luxury of being a moron. Furthermore, while some 20 year old kids do indeed engage in stupidity, the bulk of them instead behave as mature and responsible adults.

Yours truly was once 20. Yeah, it was awhile ago. I had my fun and occasionally acted goofy. However at age 20 I'd already been a soldier for two years. I was a United States Army Military Policeman in Germany, over 6,000 miles from home in another country charged with protecting Americans and Germans alike, ready at a moment's notice to go into combat and if necessary die for my beliefs and ideals. I wasn't pissing in mop buckets, speeding through residential neighborhoods in sports cars while high on sizzurp, spitting off balconies, starting fights for my bodyguards to finish, or ducking out on bills. I certainly wasn't stealing peoples' cell phones and rifling through them to see if they took pics of me doing illegal things. I had responsibilities and duties and consequences for my actions or lack thereof should I fail to act accordingly.

The guy on the captured Iraqi armor is not Justin Bieber. It's me at 22.

 Sigh.

The little prick is still being, well, a little prick. Recently while on the Spanish island of Ibiza, a shirtless Bieber had one of his entourage tell Leonardo DiCaprio to come on over and party with him. Not wanting anything to do with Bieber or with being summoned to attend Bieber like a serf, DiCaprio shook his head and waved him off. (It seems Leo thinks Bieber is a turd. Thumbs up). Bieber then tried to taunt Orlando Bloom at the same club since it seems Bieber was at one time banging Bloom's ex-wife Miranda Kerr. Bloom threw a punch and Bieber not only shrunk away like a bitch but had his bodyguards screen him from getting his ass kicked. Kid can dish out the taunts and run his cake-hole, surrounded by an army of minders and babysitters to do his dirty work because he CAN'T. Rumor has it that P-Diddy was theer too and along with DiCaprio applauded Bloom's effort to knock Bieber into next week. Ever since the episode, Bloom and Leo have been the best of friends.

Bieber consoled himself by moving into a new condo in LA and the first night there the cops had to come six times to tell him to turn it down. Way to improve your image and endear yourself to the new neighbors, kid.

Follow that up with your boy rolling around Disneyland in a wheelchair, cutting all the lines to get to the front, overheard saying "I don't do lines...". Yeah, I bet.

The next morning, like magic, no wheelchair. Praise Jeezusssss it's a miracle.

His babysitters said he hurt his knee playing basketball...yet he was walking just fine the next morning around LA, dressed like Salvador Dali's nightmares threw up on him. No sign of the knee injury, so I call bullshit.

Look, kids; he's a TURD. Find a new idol to worship. Maybe then he'll just go away. Meanwhile here's a list of the douchiest things he's ever done, compiled by Ranker.

DoucheApples seldom fall far from the Douchebaggery Tree. His dad gets a $50,000 allowance as his kid runs amok.