Come out, come out, wherever you are...

As is my wont, every year I celebrate my gay friends (or as I prefer to call them, friends) on National Coming Out Day. You are who you are, and I wouldn't have you any other way. For some of you, coming out was easy and painless. For some of you it was painful and difficult. Some of you did it early on and some waited years. Some of you may still be waiting. Today is as good as any, you know...

This past week, the Supreme Court of the United States basically gave a tacit nod to same-sex marriage by deciding not to hear five cases concerning same-sex marriage, pretty much legalizing it in 30 states. Here in South Carolina, Probate Judges in several jurisdictions began taking applications from same-sex couples, but our state Attorney General blocked the licenses from being issued. Seemingly there was nothing better to spend taxpayer money on than pursuing legal action to keep people from marrying. I'm sorely disappointed in the AG, and I voted for the man.

Recently, a friend got married to the love of his life. They did it on a trip to New York City, not because of the romantic setting but because their home state of Florida doesn't recognize or allow for same-sex marriage. They could have opted for what is called a Holy Union but even though it won't be legally recognized at home they wanted something more, and why shouldn't they?

Here in South Carolina, voters amended the state constitution to specifically state that marriage is between a man and a woman. I voted against that. Despite my generally conservative and right-wing leanings, I fully support same sex marriage. Many of my friends are gay and are married. They have perfectly normal and wonderful, loving marriages. Many of them have been married a lot longer than I have.

Look, this isn't the first time I spoken out in favor of same sex marriage. If you're against gay marriage, don't have one. In no way, shape, or form is my marriage put in jeopardy by a gay couple tying the knot. The sanctity of marriage isn't ruined by same-sex marriage. That sanctity is instead ruined by people who take marriage way too lightly. However, we celebrate when the rich and famous hetero community ties the knot, despite the fact that celebs like, say, the Kardashians or Pam Anderson, or even iconic figures like Liz Taylor or Marylin Monroe, have 30-day marriages or collect spouses like some people collect stamps, but that's okay because they're hetero. Presidents like JFK or Clinton are no better, bordering on serial adultery while in office and making a mockery of both their marriages and the solemnity of the Presidency, but hey, they're straight so it's okay. But we deny the simple right of a marriage to same-sex couples.

The Kardashian Marriage Farce Fest:

Kris Jenner--Divorced first husband Robert Kardashian after 13 years, married Bruce Jenner a month later. Currently divorcing him after 23 years.

Kim Kardashian--Famous for making a sex tape. Has no other discernable talents. Married in 2000, filed for divorce in 2003. Married again in 2011, filed for divorce 72 days later. While awaiting divorce, gets knocked up by Kanye West. Currently married to West after a wedding that would have bankrupted most third world economies.

Kourtney Kardashian--On again, off again relationship with father of her 3 kids. They've not married.

Khloe Kardashian--Married in 2009 a month after meeting, filed for divorce in 2013.

Many who are against same-sex marriage say marriage is one man and one woman married in a church under the eyes of God. This has me wondering....if you folks reading this agree with that definition, then am I actually married in your eyes?

Some of you would frown upon the fact I am divorced, as is my wife. For this second marriage of mine, I was not married in a church, either. Rather, we got hitched in front of the plantation mansion at Boone Hall during the annual Scottish Games in full kilted regalia. I was not even married by a clergy member. My friend Jackie, a notary public, officiated. Our self-penned vows were not the traditional religious-themed vows found in most ceremonies. As part of the ceremony we did a Celtic hand-fasting (gasp! a pagan rite!) and we jumped a broom afterwards (gasp! More heathen rituals!)

So, by everyone's strict definition of marriage, I must not be married, despite that scrap of paper I had to quickly sign afterwards to make it legal? After all, it's that precious scrap of paper that everyone seems to need as proof of being married. So, seemingly, marriage is but a legal contract that binds us together as opposed to some religious ceremonial bugaboo.

But Steve, them awful homosexicals are an abomination against the sanctity of marriage betwixt man and woman and they make baby Jesus cry.....

Look, the Christian Bible is chock-a-block FULL of spurious forms of traditional Biblical marriages.

But Steve, if we alter the definition of marriage, who's to say people won't try to define marriage as a man and two women, or a man and a chair, or a man and a dog or a car, or that you can marry little kids? 


 It's already been done, people. In 2009 a Tokyo man married a video game character and a woman married a roller coaster. In 2007 a woman married the Eiffel Tower. Men have married life-sized dolls. A woman married a dolphin in 2005. In Islam, Mohammed was 51 and married a 6 year old. Muslims marry kids all the time.

How about we define legal marriage as being between two (2) consenting adults of legal age of majority regardless of gender, race, or religion? Works for me.

And before you Liberals out there pounce on the Right and start laying the blame our way, it was serial adulterer William Jefferson Clinton, President Slick Willie himself, who signed the Defense of Marriage Act into law.

That alone should nullify it.


It's 2014, not 1014. Come out of the Dark Ages.

Happy Coming Out Day 2010

I'm not your typical Conservative, or typical Army veteran. It seems many of my compatriots in the ranks of Conservatism and of the military services are staunchly anti-gay and see homosexuals as deviants and doomed to the fiery pits of Hell.

What utter crap.

I've had gay friends since high school. Thankfully, some of them are still friends with me more than 20 years later. It's always been something I accepted and it never bothered me. I mean, hell, why should it bother me? I'm quite secure in my own sexuality and orientation. I don't view homosexuals as a threat to my heterosexuality, my masculinity, or a threat to any aspect of my life that I can think of.

The first guy that ever hit on me was a Navy guy who was a crewman on a submarine at the base I lived on. He was from New Orleans, a hairdresser by profession, and joined the Navy for college money. I used to run into him at the barracks where he lived because their payphones gave you unlimited phone time for a dime, and I could sit there and talk to my girlfriend for an hour or two without a ration of crap from my parents for tying up the phone. I told him I was flattered but not only was I straight with a girlfriend but that I was jailbait to boot. Poor guy was mortified. He thought I was a sailor since I had short hair, was always on the phone at the barracks, and carried my school books in a duffel with the logo of one of the subs at the base. I jokingly said that I'd keep his secret as long as I got dibs on a phone after school.

One of my high school classmates had a terrible crush on me. I told him he had no chance but I never shunned him. He was a really nice guy and friends could sometimes be hard to come by even in a small school of 400 or so kids. He gave me a Mickey Mouse watch for my graduation and I held on to it for at least ten years before I finally parted with it. The face was cracked & scratched to hell & gone, the battery long dead, and the leather strap had disintegrated, but it was such a kind gesture that I hated to let it go.

I knew several gay soldiers when I was in the Army. As long as they did their jobs and didn't publicly dishonor the uniform or the flag I was cool with whatever they did privately. Being gay doesn't make you a bad soldier. In fact pretty much every gay soldier I knew was an exemplary troop. We had a couple units on my base in Germany that were anywhere from 25 to 50 per cent gay. Of course I have no solid proof, but I only knew one or two of the truck drivers in this one transport company who dated guys and many of the intel people up the road with the intelligence-gathering unit were barely keeping it quiet. But it didn't affect their job performances one iota and we all had a blast off duty. One of my closest buddies from that unit is now a woman, actually, living in a major European city and finally living the life she was supposed to be living. And really, all any of us wants is for our friends to be happy, right?

One night while helping out the DJ's at a club near Fort Riley I met a guy who liked the band Erasure just as much as I did and we became instant friends. He was a fuel handler in a support battalion and had just gotten back from Desert Storm. We club hopped together often and raided each other's CD collections regularly. He was originally from Kansas City, a couple hours away, and one weekend we drove up together and partied and I even met his mom. We shared a hotel room just like normal friends. I always knew he was gay even though he never said as much, but I was secure enough in our friendship that I knew he'd never even so much as bat an eyelash my way. He knew I was straight but he didn't know that I knew his secret. I never said anything to him because I didn't thing anything needed to be said. I mean, really, what was there to say? Wouldn't have changed a thing in my mind. A few months after we'd both left the Army he finally admitted to me that he was gay and I told him that I always knew. Turns out he was scared to actually admit it to me while we were both active duty because even though we were friends he was still scared that as a Military Policeman I might feel an obligation to turn him in. I told him that I was a bit hurt that he didn't feel he could trust me but that I understood why he felt that way. Here he was, a decorated war veteran, and had to hide his true self from his friends and comrades.

A couple years later I heard a story about a Naval Aviator who was being drummed out of the Navy for being gay and might have to pay back the government in partial for the expense of his education and training. I was appalled. I mean, four years of college, a year of flight school at a million bucks' worth of training, and after barely a year in the fleet they wanted to kick him out for something he did in his private life off duty. What a crock. The American taxpayers should feel cheated for not getting their money's worth from their investment, and we should all also feel cheated for losing the services of a fine young officer who wanted to serve when so many would rather not serve.

Do I feel that gays should serve openly? Sure, why not? The military needs good people, dedicated people, troops willing to go in harm's way to defend this nation. Nowhere in there does it say we only want straight people. Will it take some adjustments? Sure. Sixty years ago the military was segregated and black troops were relegated to being cooks, stewards, or manual labor functions. Did it take some adjustments? Ask the brave heroes of the Tuskeegee Airmen about adjustments and getting harassed for being different.

Bottom line, if someone wants to serve, gay or straight, then we have an obligation to support them 100%. It's our asses their defending.

So here it is National Coming Out Day. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to come out; I never had that issue. But today I salute my brave friends in the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender community. If you want to read the story of one gay soldier's experience with coming out, I invite you to read my friend Wil's article here. It's really a great article. Also, his article here is a letter from his current present-day self to his younger self encouraging him upon coming out. Another great read.

And in closing I wanna extend a middle finger to Fred Phelps and his Little Hatehouse on the Prairie at the Wetsboro Baptist Church. Not only is it disgusting for you to be protesting military funerals, but to use it as an excuse to hurl homophobic hate speech is beyond the pale. You claim that your Christian God hates gays? The way I see it, gays are human beings and as such are God's creatures, His creations, right? So then why would your all-powerful, all-knowing, loving Christian God create something He hates? If your God is all full of love & understanding, why would He hate anything, especially something he created, and furthermore created as gay in the first place. Judge not, lest ye be judged.

Besides, if homosexuality is such an affront to God, then why aren't they just smited to the Earth instantly? And really, isn't it something between them and God? If it's really a sin then it's THEY who have to answer for it on Judgement Day, not you. Worry about the skeletons in your own closets, because an awful lot of so-called Christians have a closet that would scare the shit out of Stephen King.

Happy Coming Out Day 2009

Yes, I run a Conservative bog. Yes, most Conservatives are against homosexuality. Yes, I'm a heterosexual male with a lot of friends in the GLBT community. Since when have I ever done what everyone else does?

Today is the annual celebration of National Coming Out Day, and I tip my hat today to all my gay friends. You are who you are and you love who you love.

Two of you I've known since high school. One of you was in the Army with me.

You've opened your homes to me and broken bread with me.

You accept me for who I am. I accept you for who you are.

That's the way it should be.

Happy National Coming Out Day!

Today is October 11. That means it’s National Coming Out Day.

The day was founded by Dr. Robert Eichberg and Jean O'Leary in 1988, in celebration of the Second National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights one year earlier, in which 500,000 people marched on Washington, DC, for gay and lesbian equality. National Coming Out Day events are aimed at raising awareness of the LGBT community among the general populace in an effort to give a familiar face to the LGBT rights movement. National Coming Out Day is a time to publicly display gay pride. Many choose this day to come out to their parents, friends, co-workers and, most importantly, to themselves.

Despite its name, National Coming Out Day isn’t just an American event; it’s in fact observed in many countries, including Switzerland, The Netherlands, Germany, Canada and the United Kingdom. National Coming Out Day is celebrated on October 12th in the United Kingdom.

Coming out is the process of personally accepting your homosexuality and disclosing it to family, co-workers and friends. Coming out is different for every gay person. Some experience a lot of pain and anguish, while for others acceptance is a joyous time, though it’s seldom an easy thing.

For those of you who just don’t get it: tough shit. Some people are gay. Get over it, and get over yourselves.

And for all of my friends in the LGBT community, today I salute you all. I’m proud to have you all as my friends.