Honest, I'm not on welfare...

Today we revisit Nadya Suleman, my new favorite fruitcake, who gave birth to octuplets a couple weeks ago. Nutty as a squirrel turd, her addiction to collecting babies makes Angelina Jolie’s menagerie look positively tame by comparison. At least Jolie can afford to buy the children she’s collecting in addition to the ones she births. Since she has no income, Mizz Squirrel Turd has said that she intends to use student loans to care for her brood of 14 children, all under the age of 8.

Ann Curry of NBC deserves an award for not reaching across the table and beating her with a frozen cod fish during their interview.

“Do you have any income at all?” Curry asked Suleman during her interview.

“At the moment, no,” Suleman replied, adding that she intended to use student loans “temporarily” to pay for her family’s care.

“Right now, you don’t have an income to provide for your children?” Curry repeated.

“Probably just with the student loans,” Suleman said. “I am providing for my children. I am. And that will probably run out by the time I go back to school. So I have my own way. It’s an alternative way, but it works.”

Hell, it’s also FRAUD. Last I checked, you were supposed to use student loans for school-related expenses, didn’t you? She just admitted she’s not in school so then how is she getting student loans other than by defrauding the system? Enquiring minds wanna know.

All of Suleman’s children are under the age of 8, and she now has 10 children under the age of 2. According to a report from The Los Angeles Times, three of her older children have disabilities and receive Supplemental Security Income. In addition, Suleman reportedly receives $490 a month in food stamps from the state of California.

Michael Furtney, a publicist for Suleman, told The Associated Press that Suleman does not think of the public funds she does receive as welfare. “In Nadya's view, the money that she gets from the food stamp program ... and the resources disabilities payments she gets for her three children are not welfare,” he said. “They are part of programs designed to help people with need, and she does not see that as welfare.”

So she’s delusional, too? And wait…she has no income but has a frikkin’ publicist? How the hell is she paying for a publicist? I knew lawyers occasionally did pro bono work but do publicists do it too? Usually when someone gets involved with a goat rope of this magnitude, they really aren’t doing it pro bono for the client, but pro bono for their own publicity and reputation.

During the interview with Curry, Suleman said, "I'm not receiving help from the government. I'm not trying to expect anything from anybody. [I] just wanted to do it on my own. Any resources that someone would really, really want to help us, I will accept, I would embrace.”

“I’m responsible. I am not on welfare,” she told Curry. “I don’t want to disparage or seem like I’m disparaging any individual who uses welfare as a form of a resource. It can be a valuable resource. I’ve chosen never to go on welfare. I feel that it is my responsibility to do what I can to provide for my children.”

I’m not receiving help from the government, other than student loans, food stamps, and SSI, you mean. I wanna do it on my own, but will gladly take charity from anyone who wants to give it, thusly not really doing it on my own. Again, this chick is delusional.

Curry told Suleman that many people think she had the octuplets in the hope of making money off her story.

“That's funny how untrue that is,” Suleman said. “Money? Money is necessary to raise children. But it's — it's paper. It is paper. To me, it is superfluous in contrast to the importance of my kids.”

So then why was she shopping herself out to Oprah hoping to get two million?

Yeah, sister, it’s just paper, but your goofy ass is costing us taxpayers a lot of paper.

Dr. Nancy Snyderman, NBC’s chief medical editor, has estimated that the cost of delivering the octuplets and keeping them in neonatal intensive care until they are ready to leave the hospital will be $1.5 million to $3 million. That’s a lot of paper. The Los Angeles Times has reported that Kaiser Permanente Medical Center, where the babies will remain for several weeks, has asked California’s medical insurance program, Medi-Cal, to pay the tab. That means that her kids will have been paid for and subsidized by…you guessed it…DING DING DING!!!!!! the taxpayers of California. But she’s doing it on her own without governmental assistance, right?

She used to work, once upon a time.

“I was able to work double shifts, constantly working double shifts. I was hoarding my money, nonstop working. I really didn’t have much of a social life,” Suleman said. “My friends would go, ‘Are you saving for a house, a car?’

“ ‘No, I’m saving for babies.’ ” (Since you can buy them?)

After trying for seven years to get pregnant, Suleman turned to in vitro fertilization, paying for “several” of the procedures she has undergone with the money she saved.

Curry asked how much money she spent on in vitro procedures.

“I don’t know. I would say close to 100,” Suleman replied.

“A hundred thousand dollars?” Curry asked.

“Probably,” Suleman said. “Yeah, definitely.”

So she was able to squirrel away a hundred large to pay for starting her baby collection but couldn’t set anything aside for maintaining the collection? Great.

How much of the latest economic goat-rope disguised as a stimulus package will have to be diverted to paying for her kids?

As for myself, I have no biological children. Seems that I never needed to have any because people like The Baby Collector had them for me. And I don’t need to raise any kids of my own, because I’m already paying for kids like these, and for illegal aliens too, but that’s another story.

14 head of kids qualifies as a "herd"

Some people just deserve to be beaten with a 2-foot length of rubber tubing.

Last week when I heard that Nadya Suleman had given birth to a set of octuplets in California, I thought it was an interesting news blurb and silently wished her & her husband the best of luck with 8 kids to feed. I figured they were a couple using fertility drugs to overcome conception issues. Boy, was I wrong.

Turns out she’s an unemployed single mother who already had six kids.

Digest that a second before you choke.

This begs a few questions…like who the hell paid for her fertility treatments? What ethical doctor in his right mind would implant 8 fetuses into a woman, let alone one with six kids? This shit makes me wanna scream.

There are thousands of decent couples out there who can’t conceive, and now this greedy/crazy/attentionwhore bitch has, count ‘em…FOURTEEN kids all under the age of 8 years old!!!! Holy shit, Batman. She’s been shopping her story out to folks like Oprah and Good Morning America, asking for two million dollars no less. She says it’s to help defray the costs of raising this new litter of pups she’s whelped. She really wants to be a famous TV star/child care expert… yeah, right. She then decided that Ann Curry of NBC’s Today Show would get the first interview, and now the details are slowly trickling out.

Her parents bought her a two-bedroom place in the L.A. burbs in March 2007, but soon after got into debt and had to leave their own home, filing for bankruptcy and moving in with their daughter and grandchildren. Last week her father said he would return to his native Iraq to work as a translator and driver. Man, times are tough indeed when an Iraqi immigrant to the States has to go back to Iraq just to get a job.

State documents disclosed to The Associated Press show that Nadya Suleman has received more than $165,000 in disability payments for an on-the-job back injury. She worked at a state mental hospital from 1997 until December, when she resigned. The payments were made between 2002 and 2008, during which time Suleman gave birth to most of her six other children. The documents, provided to the AP on Thursday following a public records request to the Department of Mental Health, also show that Suleman had three miscarriages before she first became a mother, has used different names over the years and has been married and divorced once.

Her mother Angela Suleman, who is caring for the first six children, one of whom is autistic, while her daughter is in the hospital, said that she had consulted a psychologist over Nadya’s “obsession with children”. (Gee, ya’ think?)

Nadya Suleman, who describes herself as a “professional student” living off education grants and parental money, broke up with her boyfriend before the birth of her first child seven years ago. The identity of the octuplets’ father remains unknown, but Suleman said all her children have been born through in vitro fertilization, with sperm donated from a friend. The first six range in age from 2 to 7.

She’s claiming that she was incredibly lonely during childhood , giving a boo-hoo about being an only child, so she turned herself into a baby factory to fill the void. Whatever, lady. I was an only child, too. I was far from lonely.

Go get some friends. Get a frikkin’ puppy. Find a hobby. Volunteer at a local charity. But seriously, don’t con some spurious clinic tech into giving your unemployed/single/burden-to-your-parents ass 8 more kids to be born prematurely (requiring hundreds of thousands of dollars in neonatal care) when you already have six others that you can barely take care of. That’s selfish and just plain wrong. Hamsters don’t have as many babies as you now have.

Suleman told Curry her childhood was "pretty dysfunctional." She added: "I didn't feel as though, when I was a child, I had much control of my environment. I felt powerless."

Well, no shit, lady. You were a child, and as a general rule, children have little to no control over their environments. That’s what parents are for. I’ve found a lot of the time that households where children wield the power and the parents are powerless are the dysfunctional ones…

The Sad Meal

When I was a kid, going out to eat was a special, treasured event. We generally ate at home and only went to a restaurant maybe once a month when I was little, and only slightly more often than that as I hit my teens. If you misbehaved, you certainly weren’t going to be taking a trip to Mickey D’s to yummy down on burgers & fries, let alone a sit-down meal somewhere. You don’t reward kids when they’re bad, despite what the common practice is as of late.

Nowadays, eating out happens all the time and kids are so used to it that it’s no longer all that special, but rather just the norm. Kids just expect that Happy Meal any time they want, no matter how bad and bratty they’ve been. They could burn down half the neighborhood with a can of WD-40 and a Bic lighter, and by God they’ll be pumped full of salt & cholesterol and rolling in that bacteria-laden ball pit in Ronald’s Playland before the end of the evening news.

But what if I’m the one craving a Big Mac, or I realllly don’t wanna cook, but my kid just drew a stick figure with a giant penis on the wall at school? Or he just flushed a tennis ball down the toilet?

Call me Old Skool but I can’t see carting an ill-behaved little turd out for fast food and a toy. Should I be forced to forego my own culinary self-destruction just because my kid’s a shithead? No way, man. I’m ordering my kid a SadMeal™.

A SadMeal™, you say? Indeed, dear reader.

A Happy Meal comes in a brightly colored decorative box full of cartoons, smiles, and a puzzle or two. A choice of a burger of nuggets, fries, and a drink, plus a cheap-assed lead-painted trinket toy from China geared towards whatever Hollywood crapfest is being pushed that week. A veritable Kinder-Nirvana.

Not so with a SadMeal™.

A SadMeal™ comes in a non-descript, plain cardboard box that feels a bit rough and sandpapery, with the only real decoration being the disapproving scowl of Rosie O’Donnell. Instead of a fun puzzle or activity, your little penitent is burdened by an algebraic equation.


Instead of a choice of entrees, the choice here lies in the side items. Your little hellion gets the option of a small cup of lima beans or Brussels sprouts. The entrée is a 5-piece order of Liver McNuggets. We’re not total animals; the kid also gets to choose his/her dipping sauce. The choices are: Painful Wasabi, Olde English Malt Vinegar, Nguoc-Nam Vietnamese Fish Sauce, or our own special McBlender Sauce of Dill Pickle Juice, Anchovies, Cayenne Pepper, and Sea Salt. You can still opt to give your kid a soda should you choose, but we offer only Moxie soda with the SadMeal™, or you can also opt for an ice-cold carton of fresh asparagus juice.


Yeah, man. Punishment rations for bad kids, and the best part: no toy, and they get to watch you enjoying your meal. Da-da-da-da-daaaaaaah….you’re hatin’ it!

Aww, who needs old war heroes anyways? We want rappers!

Somehow I managed to miss this one on International Day of Change, or as you people called it, Inauguration Day. The newly coronated Messiah President opted not to appear at what should have been one of the most important Balls on his agenda that evening, and that was The Salute to Heroes Inaugural Ball.

The Salute to Heroes Inaugural Ball was begun in 1953 for President Dwight Eisenhower's inauguration. The event recognized recipients of the Medal of Honor, the nation's highest military award. There were 48 Medal of Honor recipients in attendance, who were undoubtedly disappointed by the Commander-in-Chief's failure to show. Over the past 56 years and 14 inaugurations, no President has ever out on skipped this event - until now. As most of the medals are awarded posthumously, to have 48 recipients in attendance was a rather amazing thing.

The ball is sponsored by the American Legion, and co-sponsored by 13 other veteran's service organizations, including those such as the Paralyzed Veterans of America and the Military Order of the Purple Heart. You know… the people who keep America free so that politicians can run amok.

Instead of attending this ball honoring our nation's heroes, Obama was busy making stops at 10 other official balls. Obama and his wife's first stop was the Neighborhood Ball. From there they went to the Home State Ball for Illinois and Hawaii, the Commander-in-Chief Ball, the Youth Inaugural Ball, and the Home State Ball for Delaware and Pennsylvania. They finished off the night with brief appearances at the Mid-Atlantic, Western, Midwest, Eastern, and Southern regional Balls.

Celebrities were a plenty at the balls, with Stevie Wonder, Shakira, Mary. J. Blige, Faith Hill, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Alicia Keys, Adam Levine, will. i. am, Sting, Mariah Carey, Ray Romano, Jamie Foxx, Vanessa Williams, Queen Latifah, and Leonardo DiCaprio in attendance at the Neighborhood Ball. In addition, the other nine balls also featured a star-studded lineup including Kanye West and Kid Rock at the Youth Ball, Marc Anthony at the Western Ball, and Cheryl Crow at the Western Ball.

Young Jeezy and Jay-Z’s freestyle rap about the Bush Administration at a concert the night before the inaugural was simply inspirational poetry indeed. Proud Americans...

“I don’t want no more Bush
No more wars, no more Iraq
No more white lies, my president’s black.”
Jay-Z, Obama Inaugural Concert, January 18, 2009

“And I wanna thank the muthafucker overseas who threw the two shoes at George Bush.
And I want to thank… Listen! Listen!
I wanna thank the muthafuckers who helped them
move their shit up out of the White House.
Keep it moving bitch.
Because my President is muthafuckin’ black, nigga!”
Young Jeezy, Obama Inaugural Concert, January 18, 2009


Oh yeah. His Obamaness was at the parties with all the celebrities and Beautiful People. It was the party without all of the celebrities that Obama skipped. The very people who he sought to have support him during his candidacy and campaign, who have fought to protect this country, were snubbed in favor of publicity and the opportunity to rub shoulders with the Hollywood elite.

Everything's Gone Green....

Moist…Warm…Sticky…Moldy.

Huh?

Had you there for a second, didn’t I?

To say that the weather conditions here in sub-rural South Carolina are often wettish is putting it mildly. The humidity is legendary, especially in the summer months. And what likes to manifest itself in warm, wet environments? Mildew and mold, of course.

And it simply flabbergasts me how many times a day I pass by homes growing green with a delicious humidity-induced salad up the exterior walls.

Now, I’m a homeowner, so I can say I more or less stand in similar shoes as the people I’m calling out here. I assure you, nothing is growing on the sides of my home. In fact, damn near nothing is growing at my house except crabgrass and a small patch of greenery over my septic field. But you lazy slack-asses who come home day after day to a moldy-assed domicile? You should be kicked in the nutsack.

I’m not talking about single-wide trailers here, either, although I pass several in my usual travels that look like camouflaged pillboxes in a triple-canopy Vietnamese jungle. No, I’m also talking about 2-and 3-level houses as well. There’s a home in my mom’s neighborhood in a really nice North Charleston subdivision that is probably about a $250,000.00 home, and it’s got salad everywhere. And it’s had that salad on the exterior walls for at least 2-3 years now. Of course, they also have a non-running Jaguar convertible covered in grime dry-rotting in place in the driveway, too.

I pass a house almost every day on the Edisto River, an absolutely gorgeous home that’s gotta be a $350K to $400K crib, and it’s green all up the front. Sure, it’s along a swampy-assed river, constantly exposed to spores of various fungi, but I feel that if you care enough to own an ostentatious abode in a conspicuous locale, then at least maintain it. The second house at least has the excuse of living far away enough from town on private acreage to not catch hassle from the neighbors over it, but I’m amazed that the first house mentioned has managed to get away with it for so long without catching shit for it from the Yard Nazis of the homeowner’s association.

Speaking of Yard Nazis, please don’t lump me in with that crowd. The typical Yard Nazi in my experience is some nosey old bag of a bitty who cruises the development at 5 mph in her 83 Buick reporting on the activities of her neighbors when the grass gets too long or they leave the garage door open all day. The Grass Gestapo wants “alles in ordnung” in the Stepford Cookie Cutter Communities. They dime you out to the HOA, who in turn dictates to you that you can’t park your boat in front of your house for more than 15 minutes, or you can’t have more than 2 carloads of visitors at a time parked on the street. The price you pay to live in a hastily-built identical cracker box 8 feet from your neighbors.

I’m just saying that you really should have enough pride in your environs to at least keep it from looking like a loaf of bread left in the sunshine for a week. Are you lazy, or just a pig? If you can’t afford to get it pressure-washed professionally, then at least get thee to Home Depot for some de-molding solution. Hose it down and use a street broom to scrub it off. A home with ivy-covered walls looks quaint. A home with mold-covered walls looks like a block of old cheese.

Of course, by now you must think I live in the Taj Mahal, right? Nope. I have a small, modest home, nothing ostentatious or grandiose. However, the grass is cut, there’s no mold on the walls, and no collections of deceased automobiles, piles of beer cans, piles of debris waiting to be burned, or half-destroyed trampolines. I do have a couple of ratty lawn chairs behind my trees that need to be offloaded in the spring but I assure you, no crops are growing on my home.

If you let the outside of your house look like something that was found in the back of the fridge wrapped in a foil cocoon and approaching sentient status, then I shudder to think of what the inside looks like. Enough dirt on the outside of your home to allow spores to attach and grow. Fungus, dude. You get fungus on your toes, you treat it, right? Same with ball fungus. You don’t just let those fungal infections fester, do you? You see mildew in the tub, you scrub it I hope. You don’t let your shower become a Third World rainforest do you?

As we look at closing Gitmo, another terrorist is going free

In 1973, a young man named Khalid Duhham Al-Jawary entered the United States through Canada, flying from Montreal to Boston and on to New York, and quickly began plotting an audacious attack in New York City.

He built three bombs powerful enough to kill, maim and destroy and put them in rental cars parked along New York City's Fifth Avenue. The explosives were set to detonate at noon March 4, when Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir would be visiting, but a circuit within the bombs failed.

The plot failed. The explosive devices did not detonate due to a faulty circuit, and Al-Jawary fled the country, escaping prosecution for nearly two decades, until he was captured in Italy in 1991, tried in the United States in 1993, convicted of terrorism charges in Brooklyn and sentenced to 30 years in federal penitentiary in Louisiana.

"A test detonation of one of the bombs produced a fireball approximately 25 feet in diameter, which rose to a height of 50 to 75 feet," the CIA reported. "Experts state that if the bombs had exploded in the trunks of the cars, the magnitude of the explosion would have been much greater. They further stated that anyone within 100 yards of the blast would have been fatally injured."

In less than a month, the 63-year-old Al-Jawary is expected to be released. He will likely be deported; where to is anybody's guess. The shadowy figure had so many aliases it's almost impossible to know which country is his destination.

Government documents link Al-Jawary to Black September's murderous letter-bombing campaign targeting world leaders in the 1970s and a botched terrorist attack in 1979. Former intelligence officials suspect he had a role in the bombing of a TWA flight in 1974 that killed 88 people and a slew of other bombings and attempted bombings.

So, this dude is certainly no Boy Scout. He’s had 15 years of Louisiana hospitality to ponder ways to kill us all. Why he’s getting out 15 years early is beyond me, but it’s complete bullshit. You’d think we’d learned our lesson on keeping terrorist scumbags under lock & key, but no. So this turd is gonna get cut loose, and wander off to some Third World cave where he’ll get a hero’s welcome from Hezbollah, Hamas, Islamic Jihad, Al Quaeda, the Taliban, and a dung-heap of other terrorist organizations, and he’ll be right back to doing his level best to kill you, me, and everyone else around us. Great.

Y’know, old Uncle Khalid claims to have been born in Palestine in 1947. At the time that area was held under British control until the bulk of it became Israel in 1949. So, we may send his ass to England, where the local Muslims will treat him like the Hand of the Prophet and chauffeur him to Osama’s cave. I say we ship his ass to Israel and let them handle his re-adjustment to polite society. Yeah, that’s the ticket. I bet the Mossad will love to have a guy with ties to Black September….the group that killed those Israeli athletes at the Munich Olympics.

You’re welcome to him, Israel. Give him the return to Palestine he so richly deserves.

Sure, Khalid, these guys can't wait for you to come back to Israel.

How trashy...

Heaps of plastic bottles, food wrappers, soda cans, and newspapers, which blanketed the National Mall Wednesday morning, were a stark contrast to the stateliness and splendor of President Barack Obama's inaugural ceremony a day before.

I was under the impression that all of you ObamaZombies were pro-environment ? If so, then why did you leave over 100 TONS of trash on the Mall in Washington?

In comparison, 40 tons of garbage was collected in New York City's Time Square on New Year's Day 2009 -- after one million people attended the celebration -- according to the city's Department of Sanitation.

C’mon…..a million and a half reverent followers of Obama watching a solemn ceremony leave over twice as much trash behind as a million drunken revelers where confetti and ticker-tape is bound to fly?

Just sayin’…

Hats of to DC Sanitation workers who had it all pristine again by breakfast the next morning. Way to go, gang.

America in the grips of NIMBY Syndrome

And we’re off to the rodeo…

Barely three days into the Obama presidency, and the un-Bushing of America has begun. President Obama has suspended the ongoing trials of terrorists being held at Guantanamo Bay and declared that the facility will itself be closed a year from now.

Well, okay. This just begs the question: What the hell are we gonna do with our Muslim cousins being held in stasis for trying to kill us all? Do we just set the buggers loose to go back to setting off truck bombs and flying airliners into skyscrapers? Or do we simply house them elsewhere, moving the operation to another exotic overseas locale? Barring that, do we just ship the sunzabitches stateside to some secure facility here?

You send them overseas to somewhere else, and you run into the problem of security and trustworthiness of the host nation’s government and general populace. Certain of our supposed allies I wouldn’t trust to co-sponsor a frikkin’ bake sale with us, let alone hold onto our most dire enemies without letting them loose “accidentally” to rejoin their brethren.And you know they will.

A Saudi man who was released from Guantanamo after spending six years inside the camp has joined Al Qaeda's branch in Yemen and is now the terror group's No. 2 in the country, according to a purported Internet statement from Al Qaeda. Documents released by the U.S. Defense Department show that Ali al-Shihri was released from the facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba in November 2007 and transferred to his homeland. The documents confirmed his prisoner number was 372. An alleged travel coordinator for Al Qaeda, Al-Shihri allegedly traveled to Afghanistan two weeks after the Sept. 11 attacks, provided money to other fighters and trained at an urban warfare at a camp north of Kabul. Seems that once you let the little turds go, they trot right back to Bad Guy Land and do Bad Shit all over again. So, setting up shop again overseas is definitely problematic.

The bigger problem though is America’s steadfast adherence to NIMBY. That means Not In My Back Yard, as in, go ahead and build what we need, just not near me. Sure, a landfill? Great, but I don’t want it in my back yard. A nuclear waste dump? Not in my back yard. Three hundred sworn enemies of America who want to kill us all? Sure, put ‘em in jail, but not in my back yard.

Everyone wants ‘em put away, but no one wants the facility anywhere near themselves. I even heard one erstwhile genius exclaim, “Put them over on Alcatraz. No one escaped there.” Great, Einstein. An abandoned jail that closed in 1961, where several buildings are fire-damaged and everything’s suffered 75 years of salt water damage.

So far the only guy who said to put them in his back yard is Representative Jack Murtha, the Pennsylvania Democrat who chairs the defense subcommittee for appropriations, renowned for his ability to steer earmarked dollars to his district. He’s looking at this as an opportunity to snag an instant stimulus package of jobs and federal money to build a new prison in his district, since all of his local prisons are already full and his voter base needs jobs.

A stream of congress members and senators voiced concerns about where the detainees would go. Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS), said he's been "pleading" with Obama's staff not to bring them to Fort Leavenworth in his home state -- something he believes is being considered. Leavenworth is a multi-prison complex comprising a federal penitentiary and the military’s Disciplinary Barracks.

Welcome to South Carolina, Achmed!!! Naval Brig Charleston, baby!


Locally, our own Congress-creatures are pissing and moaning the NIMBY argument too. I’m honestly not sure if they aren’t doing it just to toe the Republican Party line and balk at Obama’s policy or if they just figure that NIMBY will keep them in office. See, one of the facilities being discussed other than Leavenworth is our own Consolidated Naval Brig over in the Charleston suburb of Hanahan. Representative Brown said he hasn't been briefed on any plans to close the facility at Gitmo, but he questioned the need to make a change. Brown said he isn't worried so much about escapees but rather about how their presence would make Hanahan and the surrounding areas more of a potential target. Also, it could require security upgrades that could inconvenience people who live or work nearby. Senator Jim DeMint sent out a press release warning the move would endanger Americans. "And if the new administration tries to move these known terrorists to South Carolina, they should be ready for a fight," he wrote.

Brown said he hasn't heard much feedback on the issue. "I think once people focus on it," he said, "…they'll realize that's something they would not like to see in their neighborhood."

And that proves my point.

People, the federal government owns those prisons, regardless of what state they happen to be in. And if they wanna house federal prisoners in their federal prisons, suck it up and deal with it. The brig in Hanahan held convicted terrorist Jose Padilla, who is now is the ADX Supermax Prison in Colorado, for over three years quite safely & securely. It currently houses Ali Saleh Al-Mirri, a purported enemy combatant who allegedly was tapped by 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheihk Mohammed to plan more attacks in the Los Angeles area. Al-Mirri has been a guest of Lowcountry hospitality for six years, and 99% of you had no idea he was even here.

Several of my friends are current or former cage-kickers; i.e.: military correctional specialists. I myself worked at an Army correctional facility for two years. Do you people have so little faith in the soldiers and Marines who keep these prisons secure? Personally, I have implicit faith in the professionalism and ability of the men & women of our military’s correctional units to keep 245 dirtbags under wraps.

Hell, we could always send them to Maricopa County, Arizona. Sheriff Joe Arpaio is known worldwide as the toughest sheriff in America. He houses inmates in a rudimentary tent city in the desert, only feeds them twice a day (bologna sandwiches. I kid you not. He says it costs 40 cents a day to feed an inmate, and it costs $1.40 a day to feed a guard dog) and makes the inmates wear pink undies. Then again, would it be such a hardship for these assclowns to be held in the desert after half of them have spent a lifetime in Arab deserts or living in caves?
Go ahead and close Gitmo. It never should have been opened in the first place, because those cretins should have been shot on sight as vermin instead of sucking up taxpayer dollars to give them 3 hots & a cot, a new Koran and a new prayer rug, and all they have to do it sit on a tropical island and talk to Allah.


Chillin' at Club Gitmo with Khalid and Richard. Shoe bombs, anyone?

Church & State and the gray area in between

As reported by the Associated Press, a federal judge has ruled that a state law requiring a moment of silence in public schools across Illinois is unconstitutional, saying it crosses the line separating church and state.

"The statute is a subtle effort to force students at impressionable ages to contemplate religion," U.S. District Judge Robert W. Gettleman said in his ruling Wednesday.

The ruling came in a lawsuit designed to bar schools from enforcing the Illinois Silent Reflection and Student Prayer Act. It was filed by talk show host Rob Sherman, an outspoken atheist, and his daughter, Dawn, a high school student.
As passed by the Illinois General Assembly, the law allows students to reflect on the day's activities rather than pray if that is their choice and defenders have said it therefore doesn't force religion on anyone.

Gettleman's ruling comes as no surprise, as he’s already ruled in favor of Sherman in two previous decisions. To me, that smacks of a biased judge who seems to get a favored plaintiff on his docket on a regular basis.

The "teacher is required to instruct her pupils, especially in the lower grades, about prayer and its meaning as well as the limitations on their 'reflection,'" Gettleman ruled. "The plain language of the statute, therefore, suggests and intent to force the introduction of the concept of prayer into the schools," he said.
The American Civil Liberties Union says the law is a thinly disguised effort to bring religion into the schools. Adam Schwartz, senior staff counsel of the ACLU, said the organization was pleased with the decision "to strike down a statewide law that coerced children to pray as part of an organized activity in our public schools."

Get real, you liberal socialist fruitcake. While there may be a part in the Constitution that talks about the separation of church and state, that’s better off being looked at as a method for keeping us from becoming a religious state like, say, Iran or Saudi Arabia, where clerics beat you on the street with sticks for supposed trespasses against Allah.

The truth is, there really is no complete separation of church and state in the United States of America. It’s a matter of practicality. This nation was founded upon the bedrock of freedom of religion, not freedom from religion. Like it or not, America was founded by devout Christians as a Christian country, with allowances made for the freedom and tolerance of others to practice their religious customs without fear of persecution.

I’m not a religious person by any means. But if that’s your bag, I’ll gladly respect your right to worship (or not to worship) as guaranteed by the Constitution which I swore an oath to uphold and defend, against all enemies foreign and domestic, at 18 years of age. Almost 22 years later I still take that oath seriously. But I’m also a pragmatist. I know full well that Americana and Americanism is chock full of God references.

You ACLU lawyers are in court enough to know that when you’re sworn in, you generally place your hand on a Christian Bible and end with “so help me God”. And I know damned well that you have no problem making or spending American money festooned with “In God We Trust”, which coincidentally is the motto of our great nation. The Pledge of Allegiance that your ilk keeps seeking to suppress lists us as one nation under God. I’d be willing to guess that a judge’s robes trace their origins to priestly robes, back during medieval times when lawyers retained the tunic worn by men as a sign of learning until the middle of the 14th century. Of course, during those days, the vast majority of the people were uneducated an illiterate, and the only learned scholars were the clergy.

You fought for, and won, the right to burn the American flag under the auspices of Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Expression, and I as a former soldier have spent my entire adult life biting back my personal distaste for such a disrespectful and despicable act, and now you want to strip away some more of the foundation of the country that gives you both a home and a living. Now, if it was some Muslim group trying to push Islamic teachings and prayer rugs and foot-wash basins into the schools, you ACLU douchebags would eat your own young to force-feed that to the public.

And by no means whatsoever do I advocate forcing religion down the throats of school kids. But a moment of silence to think and reflect isn’t going to undermine the universe. No one is saying that you have to pray. You can ponder the periodic table of elements. You could think up an excuse for why you skipped out on your homework to play World of Warcraft. You could memorize another word in Spanish since English no longer applies. You could entertain impure thoughts concerning that chica with the hootchie top on from your 6th period History class. class. I’m forced to be tolerant of some assclowns burning the very symbol of my nation, so maybe your snot-nosed brats can be forced to sit there with their festering gobs shut for all of 60 seconds while their fellows think whatever thoughts they privately may.

The Commemorative Obama Porta Potty!!!

You’ve seen the posters. You bought the t-shirts. You got the coffee cup, the buttons, the commemorative plates (including the design with Obama’s face reversed so his mole is on the opposite side), the commemorative coins, the silver-plated $20.00 Liberian bills, the special-edition newspaper headline issues, and a life-sized cardboard cutout Obama standing in your living room.

You’ve got all the commemorative Obama crap…except the Obama Crapper.

For a limited time only, we’re offering the actual Porta-Potty toilets used on The Mall in Washington, DC during Barack Obama’s inauguration! Own a piece of history with one of these amazing Obama Porta-Potties, in gorgeous pastel purple and smelling of roses. Each potty has the battle-cry of “CHANGE” over the entrance, and an image of President Obama greets you at the door. Millions saw the coronation of America’s new leader, but only a select few can own such a tremendous souvenir of the occasion.

Limited to just the first 5,000 buyers, once they go they’ll be gone for good. You may not sit on Obama’s throne, but you can have your own throne that’s been shared by thousands of your fellow members of Obama Nation. Call now and get your Commemorative Obama Porta Potty today!!!!




Each Commemorative Obama Porta Potty has been verified, cleraed, and double-checked by US troops, recently recalled from Gitmo to pull security at the Inaugural, making the security forces in DC larger than our troop concentration in Afghanistan.

special thanks to Rog at dehydratedwater.org and to Todd Schnitt