14 head of kids qualifies as a "herd"

Some people just deserve to be beaten with a 2-foot length of rubber tubing.

Last week when I heard that Nadya Suleman had given birth to a set of octuplets in California, I thought it was an interesting news blurb and silently wished her & her husband the best of luck with 8 kids to feed. I figured they were a couple using fertility drugs to overcome conception issues. Boy, was I wrong.

Turns out she’s an unemployed single mother who already had six kids.

Digest that a second before you choke.

This begs a few questions…like who the hell paid for her fertility treatments? What ethical doctor in his right mind would implant 8 fetuses into a woman, let alone one with six kids? This shit makes me wanna scream.

There are thousands of decent couples out there who can’t conceive, and now this greedy/crazy/attentionwhore bitch has, count ‘em…FOURTEEN kids all under the age of 8 years old!!!! Holy shit, Batman. She’s been shopping her story out to folks like Oprah and Good Morning America, asking for two million dollars no less. She says it’s to help defray the costs of raising this new litter of pups she’s whelped. She really wants to be a famous TV star/child care expert… yeah, right. She then decided that Ann Curry of NBC’s Today Show would get the first interview, and now the details are slowly trickling out.

Her parents bought her a two-bedroom place in the L.A. burbs in March 2007, but soon after got into debt and had to leave their own home, filing for bankruptcy and moving in with their daughter and grandchildren. Last week her father said he would return to his native Iraq to work as a translator and driver. Man, times are tough indeed when an Iraqi immigrant to the States has to go back to Iraq just to get a job.

State documents disclosed to The Associated Press show that Nadya Suleman has received more than $165,000 in disability payments for an on-the-job back injury. She worked at a state mental hospital from 1997 until December, when she resigned. The payments were made between 2002 and 2008, during which time Suleman gave birth to most of her six other children. The documents, provided to the AP on Thursday following a public records request to the Department of Mental Health, also show that Suleman had three miscarriages before she first became a mother, has used different names over the years and has been married and divorced once.

Her mother Angela Suleman, who is caring for the first six children, one of whom is autistic, while her daughter is in the hospital, said that she had consulted a psychologist over Nadya’s “obsession with children”. (Gee, ya’ think?)

Nadya Suleman, who describes herself as a “professional student” living off education grants and parental money, broke up with her boyfriend before the birth of her first child seven years ago. The identity of the octuplets’ father remains unknown, but Suleman said all her children have been born through in vitro fertilization, with sperm donated from a friend. The first six range in age from 2 to 7.

She’s claiming that she was incredibly lonely during childhood , giving a boo-hoo about being an only child, so she turned herself into a baby factory to fill the void. Whatever, lady. I was an only child, too. I was far from lonely.

Go get some friends. Get a frikkin’ puppy. Find a hobby. Volunteer at a local charity. But seriously, don’t con some spurious clinic tech into giving your unemployed/single/burden-to-your-parents ass 8 more kids to be born prematurely (requiring hundreds of thousands of dollars in neonatal care) when you already have six others that you can barely take care of. That’s selfish and just plain wrong. Hamsters don’t have as many babies as you now have.

Suleman told Curry her childhood was "pretty dysfunctional." She added: "I didn't feel as though, when I was a child, I had much control of my environment. I felt powerless."

Well, no shit, lady. You were a child, and as a general rule, children have little to no control over their environments. That’s what parents are for. I’ve found a lot of the time that households where children wield the power and the parents are powerless are the dysfunctional ones…