Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Lindsay Lohan derails again....CRASH!!!! BOOM!!!

I swear, kids, some days this shit just writes itself

Noted trainwreck Lindsay Lohan was arrested in Santa Monica early Tuesday morning on suspicion of drunken driving and a plethora of other charges after a brief car chase.

Police responded to a call originating from a residential section of Santa Monica of one SUV chasing another. Lohan, driving a 2004 Yukon that doesn't belong to her, (since her Mercedes is all fucked up still from her previous two crashes) was chasing a 2007 Escalade being driven by the mother of Lohan's personal assistant, according to police. Police found Lohan and the woman in a "heated debate" in the parking lot of Santa Monica's Civic Auditorium at about 1:30 a.m.

Little Miss Trouble was searched at the police station and a small amount of cocaine was found in her pocket, says a Santa Monica police spokesman. Lohan – who was wearing her now-famous and ever-so-stylish alcohol-detection ankle bracelet at the time of her arrest – was booked for DUI, possession of cocaine, transporting a narcotic into a custody facility and driving on a suspended license.

Two Breathalyzer tests determined Lohan's blood-alcohol level was .12 percent and .13 (the legal limit is .08). She also took a urine test, and may face an additional charge of driving under the influence of a controlled substance if cocaine is found in her system according to police.

So much for making any talk-show stops this week to promote your new movie, huh, Linz? Rob Schneider filled in for you on Leno last night and frankly, was just as entertaining but with smaller tits. Lohan has released a statement proclaiming her innocence, of course, and says the blow ain’t hers.

Last week Lohan surrendered and was formally booked on misdemeanor charges of DUI and hit-and-run stemming from a May car crash. Only 11 days ago she completed a six-week stint in rehab at Promises, a treatment center in Malibu. See, kids, if you’re a famous person busted for DUI, you get to skip out on being arrested until you can very publicly go to rehab and give your publicist time to perform spin control, so that when you get released, you issue statements and quietly take care of the legal issues that us normal people would already have been booked on and jailed overnight on.

I hope she kept the receipt from her stint at Promises, (or is it Broken Promises?) so she can get her money back. Those people at Promises must be pretty damned embarrassed right now too. She just turned 21 on July 2, and has already got a record as long as my arm for alcohol-related offenses. Of course, she’s a celebrity and underage drinking rules don’t apply if you’re rich and famous.

If convicted on all charges, she could face up to six years behind bars, NBC News reports. In Los Angeles of course, that means that if convicted, she could spend up to 72 hours in jail.

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