Saturday, August 21, 2010

You wanna do WHAT, Moochelle?

So, Moochelle Antoinette, the First Lady of WagyuLand and Vacationista Extraordinaire, wants to cure my obesity? Are you kidding me?

The White House consumes more Wagyu Beef than the city of Kobe, Japan, and don't give me that "monounsaturated fat brings down cholesterol" argument. The stuff may taste like velvet (especially if you like to eat raw meat which is how you more or less have to eat Wagyu) but the fat content is through the roof.

You want me to take diet advice from people who are pictured on vacation every couple weeks stuffing their suck-holes full of ice cream?

Is it me, or does POTUS eat ice cream like he used to do gay porn? We report, you decide.....

You want me to take eating advice from people who nominated a chubby country clinic doctor who once worked as an adviser to noted healthy-food purveyors Burger King to be the Surgeon General?

She wants me to change my eating habits but can't get her own husband to change his smoking habits?You want me to take advice from someone who wears a boob belt to restrain the roll?

(Massive thanks to Snarky Basterd at Feed Your ADHD for a part of this Ultimate Boob Belt Collage)

Maybe she can be on my next wave of SadMeal™ packages? You remember those, right?

I'm sure her scowling mug will keep kids from eating them, and the Left by then will have already forced the toys from the packaging.....


LL said...

Damn, obama has a big mouth. He can take three scoops in his mouth with one massive swallow. I'm sure he follows it up with a smoke to help melt the mound of fat he just ate.

Brooke said...

Preach it, Steve!

j summ said...

gawd damn!!!! other than super funny, i can't comment.

Sharron said...

That cow needs to keep her nose in her own friggin' kitchen. I am a damned good cook and yes, I use things like white sugar and solid trans-fat rich margarine - try making orgasmically good chocolate chip cookies without those. Fleishmann's margarine is one of my "secrets" - I can turn out consistently fab cookies every time by using it. No, it's not "health food" but when enjoyed in moderation there isn't a damned thing wrong with it. I don't know where the hell they get off trying to make my decisions for me - what happened to "My body, my choice"? That concept has more than one application, ya know.
And HELLO - he smokes. Fucking seriously?? In my line of work I see the horrific results of all sorts of overindulgence - my personal favorite is morbid obesity, because my little tiny self (5'4", 130#) just lives to lift 400 pound people off the bathroom floor when they tumble off the potty and can't get up (I only wish that was a hypothetical situation). That said, the consequences of smoking cigarettes is far more gruesome. Infected trach tubes, stoma, COPD, cardiac arrest, the list goes on but you've all seen the "Truth" commercials so you know the score. Has our esteemed leader not been clued in on what those Kools will do to him? Does he not care that his children may well get the joy of watching their father waste away to nothing from throat or lung cancer? That as a black man his risk for stroke and cardiac disease were already higher than others and smoking increases that risk tenfold?
Honestly, I don't give a damn what he does to himself. He can stuff his lying mouth with baby harp seal burgers and spotted owl etoufee for all I care. But he needs to tell his wife to STFU and let me bake my damned cookies any way I please and lay off the happy meals I use as the occasional bribe to get my kid to go peacefully to dentist or doctor appointments.
If she goes after my Wawa we're gonna have a serious problem. Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

Supersize this, please!

Z said...

GREAT post, images, etc...BRAVO!
ICE CREAM IS GOOD FOR OBESITY, DONTCHAKNOW (ya think they got asked for their ID in that ice cream store Obama warns illegals about?:0)

SUPER post..!

WomanHonorThyself said...

o gosh is this hypocrisy mad or what!..pass the sprinkles please!