The U.N.--A Complete Body of TOOLS

Hey, look, it's Banky The Tool!



You have GOT to be shitting me.

If I were a taxpayer in Spain, I’d be rioting in the streets. Why? Because the U.N. Human Rights Council, long known for coddling some of the world's most repressive governments, threw itself a party in Geneva, Switzerland last week that featured the unveiling of a $23 million mural paid for in part with foreign aid funds.

Please...digest that little snack a moment, would you?

Spanish taxpayers paid for most of the sprawling sculpture, which has been compared to the Sistine Chapel (by people who are obviously on serious hallucinogenic pharmaceuticals), but around $633,000 came from Spain's budget for overseas development aid. The Spanish Foreign Ministry says the government is funding 40 percent of the costs, with the rest footed by private-sector donors. Of the public money, €500,000 euros (US$633,000) comes from a budget for overseas development aid and international organizations like the United Nations.

Spain's conservative opposition Popular Party complained that this means money was diverted from projects to alleviate poverty and boost health care in poorer countries, but the ministry insists the funding for the work was separate. The elliptical 16,000-square-foot dome full of bright colors and torn aluminum took over a year to produce. Yeah, a YEAR.

In a ceremony attended by U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki Moon, Spanish artist Miquel Barcelo told the press that his ceiling artwork reminded him of "an image of the world dripping toward the sky", but it reminded critics of money slipping out of relief coffers.

Ban praised the piece and thanked Barcelo for putting his "unique talents to work in the service of the world." The artwork will soar above the Human Rights Council's chambers at U.N.'s European headquarters in Geneva, which may soon undergo a whopping $1 billion renovation — but only after a $1.9 billion facelift of the U.N.'s New York offices is completed. Somehow I’m sure the taxpayers of the world, me and you included, are gonna foot the bill for this shit, too.

The mural itself looks like an acid trip. How in the hell can you spend twenty-three m-i-l-l-i-o-n bucks on what amounts to textured splats in whatever colors he happened to grab on a whim? He used 77,000 pounds of paint to decorate the hall, stating that he intended to create a grotto with multi-colored stalactites hanging from the ceiling that sums up his idea of the world; a planet-cave that brings together men and that goes into the future. Barcelo says the hall reflects “infinity and the multiplicity of viewpoints.” I could have done it for a lot less. Hell, he probably did it for about 3 grand and pocketed the rest offshore in an account in the fucking Caymans and laughed all the way to the proverbial offshore bank.

Why the hell are we still footing the bill for an increasingly impotent body like the United Nations? A bunch of mollycoddled diplo-dicks who owe the good people of New York millions in unpaid parking tickets and parade around safe in their diplomatic immunity whilst sponging off America’s teats and flaunting as many laws as they can before their home country recalls them.

The U.N. is a money-pit drain on our already-strained economy. Enough, already. Send their happy asses packing to The Hague. Let the bastards run amok in Amsterdam awhile, getting all worked up on the whores in the Red Light district after toking up a few ounces of ganja. The Dutch will soon be as fed up with it as we are.

This is the same U.N. Human Rights Council that didn’t say “boo” when the Olympics were awarded to China, despite China’s shitty record for human rights. The same Council called for Britain to give up their monarchy, ditch the queen, and start a constitutional republic. The same Council who impotently said, “Please don’t do that.” as millions were being hacked to death in Darfur and then expected the good ole’ U.S. of A. to deploy our troops and solve the problem for them. The same council that looks the other way every time some tin-pot dictator or regional despot starts ethnic cleansing his back yard and then cries for someone to act…usually that means sending in the US Army, along with Canadians, Aussies, and Brits, and a few scattered units from places like Pakistan and Sri Lanka, under the command of some French general, to drive around the boonies handing out food packets that get stolen from the refugees by thugs waiting in the bushes to kill them as soon as we drive off.

Way to go, U.N.; way to fucking go. Half the banks in the world are circling the drain and you shit away 23 million dollars on paint splats and metal shards. If we’re to believe Sally Struthers and we can feed a kid for 75 cents a day, then 23 million can feed that kid for about 7 thousand years. I’m sure the kids rifling through dumpsters around Buenos Aires can look at the corrugated tin roofs of their shanties and imagine brilliant colored stalactites. And that kid in the Sudan with the disease-bloated abdomen standing next to his brother who lost a foot to a land mine and his sister who got HIV through a gang-rape will truly appreciate that warm & fuzzy feeling you get at the U.N. from looking at “infinity and the multiplicity of viewpoints” that only 23 mill can buy you.