Sean Penn = Asshat

Sean Penn tells HBO that journalists who call Hugo Chavez a dictator should be behind bars......

Here be douchebaggery.

Why is it that every time Penn opens his suck-hole I want to stuff greasy rags down his throat?

He had such promise in 1981 in Taps, and was pretty funny in 1982 in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. And then the wheels fell off the bus, or more rather fell off the economical green hybrid electric hydrogen microscooter LibMobile....

And calling for the imprisonment of someone for calling another a dictator is the sign of...c'mon, say it with me now......a dictator. No wonder Madonna left his ass while she still could.

You knew it was coming......

....................................................................I couldn't resist...........................................................




What happens when you take a wild animal, capture it, throw it into captivity, force it to do unnatural tricks to amuse snot-nosed kids and fat tourists in ugly shirts and sandals, breed it (usually artificially, and confine it to an artificial environment much smaller than its natural habitat?

Often, it just enjoys that safe sedentary lifestyle. But then you have the rare occasion when one of them SNAPS and becomes a special on Fox, ie: When Chinchillas Attack....


It kinda makes me wonder if they get a little bored and just need to revert back to their instinctual behaviors....like the chimp that snapped and tried to eat the face off that lady last year.

People act so freakin' shocked when a wild animal reverts to its natural behaviors. Was it really that surprising when one of Sigfried & Roy's tigers finally put one of them in intensive care?


So, really, how can we all be so shocked that something called a KILLER whale might suddenly get tired of jumping on command and licking the sweaty faces of theme-park goers for a couple frozen-assed mackeral chunks and do something drastic? I mean, let's be realistic. It's got a huge mouth full of teeth as big as your fist. It's frighteningly intelligent. It hunts in groups or solo. It's not called the Cuddly Whale. It's not the Might Hurt You Whale. It's not a Bruiser Whale, Nibbler Whale, or Bump You Whale. It's a KILLER whale.

Now of course, we have one who's a serial killer whale. Tillikum is now suspected of having killed at least three people. Something keeps setting off Talcum the Homicide Whale....and folks were all worried that they might euthanize one of the the largest & oldest orcas in captivity. Ummm, are you expecting them to Free Willy his ass & just set him loose? Are you high?

What happens when you let loose a human who has a history of violent behaviors? They have a tendency to do things like, oh, say....rape and murder and shit like that. They just found a 17-year old girl in a shallow grave in California and the suspect in custody is a convicted sex offender. Who didn't see that coming? So you wanna let loose a moody whale with a homicidal streak to roam the oceans of the world like a cetacean version of Jason Vorhees? WTF?

I love whales. I find them beautiful and fascinating. But I'm not about to stick my head into one's mouth.

By the way...after all that effort, good old freed Willy (Keiko) still died a little more than a year after being set free, after millions of dollars and six years of re-training in how to be a wild orca again. He stopped eating and became lethargic after contracting pneumonia, beached himself, and died.

So, just in case you're one of those wingnut PETA douchebags who want our Finned Freddy Kreuger to roam free after many years of captivity and three deaths, and for those of you who think killer whales are all soft & plush & cuddly, here's some reality...



Look at the cuddly Shamu battering the shit out of those cuddly dolphins and porpoises before eating them....




Hey kids, next time you wanna see Shamu do a trick for a frozen hunk of cod, think of how he'd rather climb up on the beach to eat a delicious & cuddly seal...


Grey whale, the other other white meat. Nom, nom, nom, nom......




Special thanks to SteeBow in Daytona, who helps me give pics the Obamination Treatment.

Saddam Gibson?

When the hell did Mel Gibson start channeling the ghost of Saddam Hussein?

Surround yourself with good people....

Last April, after The Obamessiah and Madame Boob Belt broke protocol to hug Queen Elizabeth II of England and slip Her Majesty the lovely gift of an iPod loaded down with complete & utter crap, Obama found himself asking the queen a question about leadership.

"Your Majesty, let me be clear. How do you do it? How have you managed to be such an effective ruler for so long?"

"Oh, Barry, it's really quite simple. You must surround yourself with good people. Here, let me show you."

The Queen pressed a button on her desk, and within seconds Prime Minister Gordon Brown appeared. "Yes, Majesty?"

"Gordon, if your parents produce a child, and that child is neither your brother nor your sister, then whom would that child be?"

Brown looked deep in thought for a few seconds, and then replied "The child would be me, Majesty."

Obama was amazed. This was incredible! Taking his newly found wisdom back to DC on Air Force One and pondering it over Wagyu beef and champagne, he formulated his next move.

The next day at the Oval Orifice, The One summoned Joe Biden.

"Joe, I need to know if you've been acting stupidly. Tell me, if your Momma and your Daddy have a baby, and it's not your brother or your sister, then who is it?"

Biden looked perplexed, almost constipated. "Gee, Boss, give me a few minutes to think about it."

Biden then went to his favorite place to think; the second-floor men's room in the Old Executive Office Building. Nestling into the far stall, he looked at the floor and saw a familiar pair of shoes in the next stall.

It was Dick Cheney, who'd come to visit an old friend in the OEOB.

Tapping the stall wall, Biden said to his predecessor," Say, Dick, I got a question for you. If your Mom & Dad have a baby and it's not your sister and it's not your brother, then who would it be?"

"C'mon, Joe; that's easy. It'd be me."

Biden could hardly contain himself and ran full tilt back to his master, who was Windexing his TelePrompters and practicing his purse-lipped angry look.

"I got the answer, Boss!"

"Excellent, Joe. Please, in the name of Hope & Change, tell me."

"If it's not my sister and it's not my brother, it's Dick Cheney!"

Obama was thunderstruck. His second-in-command had failed him. Slapping his head in exasperation, he turned to face Biden.

"No, you dumbass; it's Gordon Brown!"

Bye Bye Bayh

A couple weeks back I brought you my epic post comparing the Obamessiah's Reign to the struggle to win World War 2. Missed it? For shame!

Go here and bask in my genius. And then giggle at Admiral Rahmimoto.

And the hits just keep coming.

I foresaw the mass defections, career suicides, and surrenders coming, and it seems I was right.

Evan Bayh says he won't seek reelection in Indiana.

Rhode Island's Patrick Kennedy says the same, meaning for the first time since the early Cretaceous Period, there won't be a Kennedy in office. Dead Kennedys the world over are spinning in their collective graves like a room full of whirling dervishes.
Ben Nelson of Nebraska is tanking over his Cornhusker Kickback healthcare vote.

Mary Landrieu of Louisiana is tanking over what amounts to a 300-million-dollar bribe.

Chris Dodd is surrendering in Connecticut. Byron Dorgan is surrendering in North Dakota.

The partial-termers filling in for Herr Obama and Herr Biden, Roland Burris and Ted Kaufman, will be out the door.

Governor Bill Ritter of Colorado is hanging it up.

Harry Reid is in serious trouble in Nevada. I mean serious trouble.

Jack Murtha went ahead & died. Literally, not figuartively.

The list grows by the minute........

The battle lines are drawn & redrawn. Our victory is within reach. Fight on!!!!

Breaking the Century Mark!

It is with no small measure of gratitude and glee that I get to say my blog has enlisted it's 100th follower today!



Thanks, all of you, for putting up with my antics, my rants, my chicanery, but most of all thanks for sticking with me, believing in me, and supporting me.

Stay tuned....it's gonna keep getting better!

Help Bring Bryce Home

I want to bring something serious to your attention in hopes that you guys out there can lend a hand, and some eyes & ears too.

I received word from one of my high school classmates that a young man who graduated from my alma mater in Maine is missing from the Savannah, Georgia area.

Bryce Daniel Tarter, age 19, was last seen leaving Armstrong Atlantic State University on January 31st in a white Nissan Frontier pickup, white in color, with Maine tags 944 7QD. He has two decals in his back windows; Atlanta Braves and Atlanta Falcons.

Please keep an eye out for this young man so we can find him & bring him home to his family. Go to www.bringbrycehome.com for more pictures and information.

I'm just sayin'...

Special thanks to my Facebook buddy Steve B for doing this for me....

Speaking of Facebook, hit me up if ya'll wanna meet up on FB, and also, I'm thinking of making a Facebook page for this blog; what do ya'll think?

Super Bowl Memories

I'm not really that big a football fan. The sporting highlight of my Sunday today was watching Alex Ovechkin get a hat trick as the Washington Capitals beat the Pittsburgh Penguins in overtime this afternoon to extend their winning streak to 14 games.

Of course, I'll have the game on tonight, but really just to watch the commercials.

I do, however, have a couple of fun Super Bowl memories from years gone by.

When I left for basic training at Fort McClellan, Alabama in January 1988, the Washington Redskins were headed to the Super Bowl. As it happened my senior drill sergeant was from Maryland, and was a 'Skins fan in those days before there was ever a Baltimore Ravens. It also happened that he had duty the night of the game. That meant that he'd be the sole drill sergeant there at the company overnight.

The drill sergeants generally were a little easier on us on Sundays, and since he was in a charitable mood to begin with, he rolled the TV outside on a cart and we all sat outside on the cold concrete of the company formation area to watch the game. His mood was further enhanced by a 42-10 victory by Washington. It was cold and uncomfortable out there, but we got to watch the game despite being in basic training.

Further evidence that the Super Bowl is bigger than sliced bread, had the Soviet Union ever wanted to truly invade western Europe, all they needed to do was wait for Super Bowl Sunday. In Germany, it was customary for the Commanding General of USAREUR (US Army Europe) to declare a "training holiday" for the day after the Super Bowl. That way the troops could stay up all night for the game and sleep it off a bit, not having to come in to work till 12 noon Monday.

So we took advantage, going over to my assistant squad leader's house to watch the festivities. Joe Clipp lived off base in the village of Eislingen, and he had German cable TV. That meant that we'd have a crystal clear picture, but the commentary would be in German....where we lived, the TV feed from Armed Forces Network was fuzzy so it was preferable to watch the German feed. We put the radio on AFN's FM feed and listened to the American commentators instead.

Being six hours ahead, the kickoff was at midnight our time and the game lasted till 4AM. That gave us 8 hours to sleep it off and show up for a 4-hour workday. Nearly a million troops in Europe at that time, and 99% of us were half in the bag watching a football game.

What Reagan should have said was "Mister Gorbachev, tear down this wall, but wait till after the game"

An addendum to my previous post

Ya' know, guys, it's fun being right!

As you'll recall from the post I did about how fighting this administration is like fighting WW2, I mentioned that it'd be a nice bonus if something were to happen to disgrace someone like Reid or Pelosi or someone else in that camp....and then Rahm Emanuel goes & steps in a pile of shit with both feet.

So in honor of this controversy surrounding the White House Chief of Staff, I shall liken it to the daring raid that shot down Japanese admiral Isoroku Yamamoto.

So....I bring you......the shooting down of Admiral Rahmimoto!