Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Hiking in Appalachia

Way to go, Mark “Marky Mark the Megastud” Sanford”. Because of your inability to keep your Gamecock restrained within your tropical-weight Charleston khakis from some King Street haberdashery, we now have you to thank for one of the newest and latest street slang terms.

In order to stay somewhat current on what the hell kids these days are saying, occasionally a 40-year old middle-class white guy is forced to consult the online resource known as Urban Dictionary. I was at their website checking on a phrase when I noticed that their new itemof the day, added on June 27th by a user named Chatnoir80, was the term “Hiking in Appalachia”.

The site’s definition?

“To have an extramarrital affair. Stems from the disappearance and subsequent reappearance of South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford(R). Gov. Sanford was thought to be hiking in Appalachia. In actuality, he was having an affair in the South American country of Argentina.”

Used in a practical sentence:
“Girl, I just saw Susie's man hiking in Appalachia.”

And what’s this? You’re coming clean about other affairs? And you said you need to try and fall back in love with your wife? Dude, I am shocked that Jenny hasn’t kicked your ass to the curb, and I’m really quite surprised that more folks in the Legislature haven’t called for your resignation and your head on a plate.

Between your shenanigans, and that “paragon of virtue” (sic) Jim Clyburn crying racism over anyone who refused stimulus money and then getting his daughter a cushy job on the FCC (see this:, South Carolina is quickly becoming a far bigger laughingstock and hotbed of idiocy than California. At least Jim DeMint and Lindsey Graham still have their senses, which is more than I can say for Boxer, Pelosi, and Feinstein.

By the way, Jim…why did you name your daughter Mignon? Sure, it’s French for “dainty” but dude…it always has, and always will be, associated with a cut of meat. You may as well have named her Porterhouse.

Even in Taiwan they know what mignon is....

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