Sunday, July 19, 2009

Pull up your damned pants....



Several times in the past three weeks I’ve looked out my windshield to see some skinny young wannabe-thug sauntering by with his wifebeater t-shirt rolled up at the waist so that I can see him holding up his ginormous pants. The pants look to be about a 42-waist on his 30-waist frame, so oversized that this fashion disaster is quite literally having to physically hold his pants up to keep them from falling down around his ankles as he walks.

The pants are purposely slung down that far so that we can all marvel at his plaid boxers, with the tops of the pants tucked firmly under his ass cheeks. Yes, dear readers, his ass is hanging out of his pants, and just what the hell this is supposed to signify or impress us with is just beyond me. Seeing the little turd trip over the pants and fall would just be awesome.


This isn’t a new phenomenon. It’s been going on for the past few years now. I’m sure you’ve all encountered it. Maybe I’m just being a middle-aged conservative white guy, but I really just don’t get this shit at all.


Many communities around the nation and even in some other countries, too, are passing laws to ban the practice. In Charleston, State Senator Robert Ford introduced legislation in a bill that would make it illegal for people to wear pants more than 3 inches below their hips. He wants civil fines ranging from $25 for the first offense to $75, plus up to six hours of community service, for three or more offenses.

In Tennessee a proposal remains alive in the Legislature to levy a fine of up to $250 and 160 hours of community service for wearing pants “below the person’s waistline ... in a manner that exposes the person’s underwear or bare buttocks.”

In Flint, Michigan, the war on sag by police chief David Dicks enacted a “crack”down so to speak, and the varying levels of ass exposed will get you varying fines.


Locally, Charleston County Coroner Rae Wooten said Friday that 19-year-old Dionta Cochran was shot in the chest by a .32-caliber pistol in the back pocket of his low-hanging pants. Cochran's death was initially considered a homicide. The North Charleston teen was found dead in a driveway Monday. Authorities say the bullet passed through Cochran's clothing and struck him as he bent forward, possibly to shut the door.

Look, if you lack the self respect to look presentable, don’t bitch when no one will give you a decent job or a house loan when you show up with your drawers hanging out, half your ass exposed, black no-show socks in bedroom slippers, and a baseball hat turned at some ridiculous angle. If you don’t want to be treated like shit, don’t look like shit.

4 comments:

WomanHonorThyself said...

you should see it in NYC..lol great post dude!

sue said...

funny

Brooke said...

Why even bother wearing pants if you've got half your ass out? The ones that REALLY kill me are the ones with a huge belt not holding up their enormous pants.

WTF?!? IT MAKES NO SENSE.

I would, btw, pay money to see one falling over his clown pants!

The Keeper Of Odd Knowledge (KOOK) said...

This all came from Prison Culture. They do not let the inmates have belts, that is where "sagging" started.

same with the shower shoes.

I will never understand why the lowest common denominator of life is so appealing.