I say, Ted...who won the regatta?

Mary Jo Kopechne would be 68 today and would have turned 69 in about 2 weeks or so.

Unfortunately for her, and for her family, she went for a drive with Ted Kennedy a couple months after I was born…

Today is the 40th anniversary of Ted’s drunk ass driving his 1967 Oldsmobile Delmont 88 off a bridge and into the water on Chappaquiddick Island. He got out, and she didn’t.

Hey, Libs…more people died driving with Ted than at Abu Ghraib and Gitmo combined!

He crashed the car, swam free, claims to have fished around for Mary Jo, swam to shore, rested up, and walked back to his hotel, where he got undressed and went to bed. He awoke to loud party noises and complained to the hotel manager, and then went back to bed.

By 7:30 the next morning, Ted was seen talking casually to the winner of the previous day’s sailing regatta, and by 8:00 he still hadn’t even reported the incident. In fact, he eventually called Kopechne’s family and told them she was dead before the authorities even knew.

Hell, two fishermen spotted the car in the water around 8, and by 8:23 the police had been called from a nearby cottage. A diver was sent down and discovered Kopechne's body at around 8:45 am. The diver, John Farrar, later testified at the inquest that Kopechne's body was pressed up in the car in the spot where an air bubble would have formed. He interpreted this to mean that Kopechne had survived for a while in the air bubble after the initial accident, and concluded that:

“Had I received a call within five to ten minutes of the accident occurring, and was able, as I was the following morning, to be at the victim's side within twenty-five minutes of receiving the call, in such event there is a strong possibility that she would have been alive on removal from the submerged car.”

On July 25, seven days after the incident, Kennedy entered a plea of guilty to a charge of leaving the scene of an accident after causing injury. Kennedy's attorneys suggested that any jail sentence should be suspended, and the prosecutors agreed to this, citing Kennedy's age, character and prior reputation. Presiding judge James Boyle sentenced Kennedy to two months in jail, the statutory minimum for the offense, which he suspended. In announcing the sentence, Boyle referred to Kennedy's "unblemished record" and said that he "has already been, and will continue to be punished far beyond anything this court can impose".

That’s bullshit lawyer-esque legalese doublespeak for “You’re a fucking Kennedy, dude, there’s no way we’re gonna send you to jail.” Teddy drunkenly staggered away, scot free, because he’s a Kennedy, and in Massachusetts, a Kennedy can literally get away with negligent homicide without any real recourse other than “you don’t get to be President but you get to still be a Senator for 50 years”.


As an aside, being a Kennedy doesn’t let you get away with literal murder. Michael Skakel, a Kennedy offshoot, was finally convicted in 2002 of murdering Martha Moxley in 1975.



Ironically, Ted was once quoted on illegal immigrants dying while crossing the Rio Grande to sneak into America. I believe this picture says it all…


Have a great Saturday, Ted. Knock back a few dozen and enjoy the healthcare as you know it that’s treating your brain tumor, because when your Messiah’s governmental free healthcare crap takes effect, the quality of care will suck so bad you’ll wish you’d stayed in the car where you left Mary Jo to die.


RIP, Walter Cronkite...that's the way it is...