Saturday, July 11, 2009

Puttin' on the Ritz



Madge, Madge, Madge.....starting a collection like Brad & Angelina are we?

Three weeks or so ago, the government of Malawi agreed to the purchase (err, I mean, adoption) of a local 3-year old to act as a matching book-end for her other purchased/adopted 4-year old. Chifundo "Mercy" James joins Madonna's other kids, Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon, Rocco John Ciccone Ritchie, and David Banda Mwale Ciccone Ritchie.


Coming from a country where the average per capita income is $134 and change, it's gotta be a hell of a change to move from a mud hut to a $15 million place in New York, and to then go on tour with That Nice White Lady Who Says She's Mother Esther and her manageries of strap-hangers and handlers and nannies and mannies and bodyguards and spiritualists and dieticians.

And going from a mud hut to a $17,000 a night luxury suite at the Ritz in Paris must be almost terrifying.



I'm thinking that pretty soon, it'll be much more trendy to adopt Afghan kids and become Islamicly spiritual, or maybe adopt that other cool and trendy new ethnic minority, Chinese Uighurs. Or will it be really not cool to tell all your celebrity fans that your new kid is something that sounds a lot like "wigger" ?

8 comments:

Track-A-'Crat said...

Why doesn't Madonna just do what she's clearly working her way up to and just adopt a whole African country?

The Lightning Man said...

Oh, yes...she can call it M'donaland or something. I suggest she start by buying Ethiopia, since that was suppoedly the final destination of the lost tribe of Israel and she think's she's Jewish now...well, she also thinks she's British but I think even she might have trouble buying England. Let's start small and go from there....

Krystal said...

I realize that these "stars" think they're doing good by adopting an underprivileged from third world countries, but we have thousands of special needs AMERICAN children stuck in the foster care system.

Of course I've noticed that none of the children being adopted by "stars" are in wheelchairs, or need surgery, or are mentally challenged, or deaf, or blind, or physically deformed in some way. I'm impressed by that couple that was murdered in Florida. They adopted what, 16 special needs children?! FROM OUR OWN COUNTRY!!

Imagine how lives could be changed with the money Madonna and Jolie have if they opened their hearts, homes, and resources to OUR children!

I firmly believe in caring for your own FIRST.

The Lightning Man said...

Amen, sister. They think it's oh-so-chic to go to some Third World shit-hole and buy some kid so that everyone can think they're so politically aware and kind and sweet and benevolent...what a load of shit. There's tens of thousands of kids RIGHT HERE who could benefit from the love and stability of a family, especially a family of means. But none of the Hollyweird elite wanna show up to the premier of some bullshit unfunny Woody Allen flick toting around kids in wheelchairs or in helmets.

Krystal said...

Lighting Man, you have a way with words...

"...none of the Hollyweird elite wanna show up to the premier of some bullshit unfunny Woody Allen flick toting around kids in wheelchairs or in helmets."

Although I'm not so sure they are capable of providing a loving and stable home. I mean, can we just START with Jackson and move on from there..?

Kidbilly said...

As Steve knows I used to be a HUGE Madonna fan, but not anymore and not for a few years. I think its disgusting the way these stars buy African children. Are we really supposed to believe Madonna is going to raise these kids? Hell, her nannies propably have nannies. She adopted this latest child just weeks before embarking on a 3 month tour through Europe, Russia and a few other continents and countries. Who's watching her during all this? The woman is from Flint Michigan which is one of the most decrepit cities in America. You'd think she'd throw some money that way! Or adopt some kids here in America that are under privileged. And she also claims to be "spiritual" but just read the accounts of people who have worked with her and what a cunt she is. Read her riders about what she has to have in her dressing rooms. Ck out how much she spends on kaballah water. It's a huge crock of shit. You can't be a spiritual person and the biggest cunt on the planet at the same time. Sorry to keep using the c-word. Also....even in her live shows she constantly insults the audience and flipping them off like she's Sid Vicious or something. After her awful Confessions tour, I knew I was done with her. I don't need to spend that kind of money on a concert ticket just have her tell the crowd, "Fuck off." And Jesus woman, stop trying to be controversial in your shows. There was nothing controversial about you on a mirror ball cross in a crown of thorns. There was nothing ballsy or ironic about it either. It was just a cool thing to do onstage, though your slow songs really just take your live show and slam it into a brick wall. You're a dance artist, just sing your dance music. No one wants to hear your ballads live because you don't have the vocal chops to back them up. Retire already. Please. Put us out of your misery. Since she divorced (and ruined the career) of Guy Ritchie is she still using that fake British accent???

The Lightning Man said...

Thanks, Krystal. I try my best to be as eloquent as possible in between dropping f-bombs.

Hey, Wil, maybe Esther Madge will start using a fake African patois?

Krystal said...

LM, the f-bombs didn't even cross my mind when I was commenting.

But now that you mention them... HA!