Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Passing of a REAL Icon...



Oi, what the hell? Celebrities are dropping like flies these days. Would that terrorists would fall off in such droves.

I’m sad to say that at the end of a week that saw the deaths of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Captain Plastic Fantastic Himself. And now, Billy Mays has shuffled off his mortal coil.

You name it, Billy pitched it to you, verily yelling at you through the TV to buy semi-worthless shit that, while you could live without it, your life would be exponentially better off if you purchased it. OxiClean. Magic Putty. The Grater Plater. OrangeGlo. Zorbeez. Kaboom. QuickChop. ToolBandit. Mighty Mendit. The Hercules Hook. The Gopher grabby thingie. The Steam Buddy. The Awesome Auger. Samurai Shark. Impact Gel insoles. You name it, he was in your face urging you to buy it before your life collapsed into ruination.


Bill seemed like a decent enough guy. He did what he did and did it well and amassed a small fortune doing it. He and his wife lived a rather comfortable life in Odessa, Florida in a 1.8 million dollar home. At one time he had a nice black Bentley in his garage. And while I’m a big fan of Vince from ShamWow and SlapChop fame, you never saw Billy Mays on TMZ for beating up a hooker.

You’ll be missed, Billy. We may not have had Paris, but we’ll always have The Big City Slider Station.

1 comment:

j summ said...

order now and i'll throw in my sister......anyone know if she also dyes her beard?