Come one, come all to Obama's Czar Bazaar!!!

I find it a tad ironic that our Marxist-Leninist Prezidentski, Comrade Obama, has such a hard-on for Czars, since the communists overthrew the last Czar in Russia to make their Revolution complete. Every time I flip on the radio or TV, The Obamessiah is elevating some ACORN crony or bootlicking lackey to the exalted position of Czar, and by Czar we mean someone who is ostensibly universally responsible for some governmental activity or other, but yet on the flip side of that same coin it’s also someone in a paid position of power who reports directly to the president, does not require Senate confirmation, and operates outside of the Constitution and the authority of Congress. Hmm...shadowy people outside of any oversight, controlling our lives with arbitrary laws...transparency, my ass.


By some accounts, there are close to three dozen czars in the Obama administration, managing everything from closing Gitmo (Daniel Fried) to ending the genocide in Darfur (J. Scott Gration). One could jokingly say that Barack Barack’vitch has seated more Czars than the Romanovs.


Obama introduced Gil Kerlikowske as his "drug czar" while speaking to an urban policy group in Washington. With Steve Rattner leaving as head of the administration's auto task force, just days after General Motors emerged from bankruptcy, America will get a new auto czar in former steelworkers union official Ron Bloom. (Rattner is leaving under a cloud of scrutiny into his dealings with the New York state pension fund in a pay-to-play deal. Another Obama crony turns out to be a scumbag with legal problems...but I've covered that before)

We have climate czar Carol Browner, whose authority spans the Environmental Protection Agency and Department of Energy, spreading the propaganda about “climate change” (ie: spreading the Global Warming bullshit. In addition to Browner and health care reform czar Nancy-Ann DeParle, presidential executive orders created an urban affairs czar (Adolfo Carrion, Jr) and a chief technology czar (Vivek Kundra) this year, along with faith-based czar Joshua DuBois, TARP czar Herb Allison, stimulus accountability czar Earl Devaney, non-proliferation czar Gary Samore, terrorism czar John Brennan, and regulatory czar Cass Sunstein. A couple weeks ago we also got a domestic violence czar when Lyn Rosenthal was appointed White House adviser on Violence Against Women.


We also have a host of special envoys that fall into the czar category including Afghanistan/Pakistan special envoy Richard Holbrooke, Mideast peace envoy George Mitchell (kinda like a Czar for Life now, what with how many administrations he’s served in addition to saving baseball from the ravages of ‘roids), special advisor for the Persian Gulf and Southwest Asia Dennis Ross, and climate special envoy Todd Stern. (You mean we get a second Czar to serve the Global Warming Kool Aid for the Bullshit Brigades?)


Perhaps we can take underemployed former NFL star Michael Vick and name him Animal Abuse Czar. Now that Billy Mays has shuffled off his mortal coil, Vince Shlomi can be the Infomercial Czar so that all the repressed proletariat can own a Shamwowski and a Slapski Chopski. Ron Jeremy can be the Male Enhancement Czar, or better yet, Comrade Smiling Bob can do it.