According to the Autumn Equinox, most Top 40 Music still sucks

Current Music That Sucks (by MojoSteve featuring Tiny and Tater)

Since no one these days seems able to have a top-40 hit without a guest artist “featured” on the song, I figured I’d need a feature to help me do this blog. I’m not quite famous enough to score Timbaland, Ludacris, Ne-Yo, Lil Wayne, WILL.I.AM, or Akon, so I’ll just have to get by. Maybe I’ll get the dogs to help me.

As per the norm, I took a spin through the local Top-40 radio stations for a few songs just to see what the latest round of crap being offered was. This time, however, I’ll at least have some suggestions afterwards as to what I’m listening to these days that won’t suck.

So, without further ado…

M.I.A.--Paper Planes
I first heard M.I.A. a couple years ago through videos on the cable channel IMF/International Music Feed. The song “Bucky Done Gun” was the most repetitively annoying track I’d heard since “My Baby Daddy” by B-Rock & The Bizz, and that’s saying something. Mathangi "Maya" Arulpragasam, better known as M.I.A, is a British songwriter, record producer, vocalist and visual artist of Sri Lankan Tamil descent. Most of her songs that I’ve heard are bhangra-flavored dance tracks that are actually pretty good. The first thing I noticed was that the song is built around a sample of “Straight to Hell” by The Clash, and that caught my attention pretty quick. This song is almost unintelligible, however, and I’m still not quite sure what it’s about. In amongst the gibberish are mentions of skulls & bones, UPS trucks, and taking your money.Your guess is as good as mine.

Estelle featuring Kanye West--American Boy
The song is almost catchy, but then again so is herpes and you don’t want anything to do with that either. Riding on the current Motown Renaissance Wannabe Movement of such acts as Duffy and Amy Winehouse sounding like classic 60’s singers with a modern groove, this is just a mess of childish lyrics coupled with some of the lamest rap I have ever heard. Then again, I think Kanye is a total asshat anyways. The Wiggles carry more street cred than this waste of four minutes.

Secondhand Serenade—Fall For You
Thanks, Chris Carabba. Thanks to you, I get to hear yet another whiny-assed Emo ballad done by a single-guy Dashboard Confessional clone. Any sweeter and I could pour it on pancakes. A bunch of nautical star tattoos, some hair gel, and some teary-eyed songs and anyone can be a star. The same formula gets repeated on the song “Vulnerable”, and the song “Your Call”, and on “Last Time” and anything else this guy (John Vesely) does. A one trick pony that will keep your teenaged daughter weepy all semester.

Kardinal Offishall featuring Akon—Dangerous
You’d swear this was an Akon song with some forgettable rapper uttering barely understandable lyrics in between Akon’s choruses and verses. In fact, a perusal of YouTube finds that pretty much everything Kardinal has done has had a “featuring”. To me that suggests mediocrity in need of assistance.

Leona Lewis—Better in Time
Another well-sung but utterly forgettable ballad that sounds like half Mariah Carey and half Alicia Keys. Play this back to back with her track “Bleeding Love” and cry into your box of white zinfandel over that person who broke your heart. boo hoo hoo

Daughtry—What About Now?
Yet another single off their album that refuses to die. Once upon a time, I thought Chris Daughtry should win American Idol. Instead, he ended up coming in third and took the world by storm and constant overplay has caused me to cringe every time I hear them. This one sounds, remarkably, just like all their others. I’m happy he got successful, but I’m just so sick of hearing him.

David Archuleta—Crush
Well, well, well. We finally hear something from last year’s Idol runner-up. And just as I expected, it’s a trite ballady syrup-fest. I can hear it running down the collective leg of every 13 year old girl in America. Yawn...

David Cook—Time of My Life
This could just as easily be a Daughtry power ballad. Poor kid wins American Idol and is given schmaltzy crap to sing, just like every other Idol winner. It’ll be interesting to see what he’ll do when given a longer leash and quits singing cover songs turned into alt-rock. It’ll either be pretty good, or be a Daughtry clone. If he tanks, he can sit with Constantine Maroulis in the Idol audience and make funny lip gestures at the cameras.

Pussycat Dolls—When I Grow Up
What do you get when you mix an okay singer with five wannabe pole-dancers? Another video that looks like Hooters threw up at a strip club. I swear that when Nicole Scherzinger and Company sing that they wanna have groupies, it sounds like they say they wanna have boobies.

Schwayze—Corona & Lime
“You can be my Corona and lime, and I can be your Main Squeeze. And if your brother don’t like my style, we can take it to the street. Take it to the street”. What utterly ridiculous crap. From the trailer parks of Malibu comes Shwayze (Aaron Smith) with his buddy Cisco Adler, son of movie director Lou Adler, combining rap and acoustic rock into something that isn’t quite as cool as “The Bartender Song” by Rehab, but really wishes it were. That song is clever & funny, whereas I would never ask a chick to be my watered-down overpriced Mexican beer with a fruit chunk in it. Dude, pick a real beer. "You can be my Sam Adams Scotch Ale, and I can be your MojoSteve"…there. That works. Much cooler.


Okay. Now that I’ve told you what NOT to listen to, how about I make a few suggestions as to what you maybe SHOULD listen to.

Carolina Liar—I’m Not Over
What do you get when you take a guy from Moncks Corner, South Carolina and team him up with five guys from Sweden? You get a really good band called Carolina Liar. Their breakthrough single, “I’m Not Over” is gaining airplay everywhere and deservedly so. Chad Wolf’s voice reminds me ever so slightly of the best of Better Than Ezra’s songs, only better. Also check out the song “Show Me What I’m Looking For”, or better yet, just go get the whole album. Do not miss this band.

O.A.R.—Shattered (Turn This Car Around)
The best thing to come out of Rockville, Maryland in a long time, I first heard OAR (Of A Revolution) a couple years ago from their track "Love and Memories". This new song reminded me why I liked them. At first I thought it was David Gray, whose single “Babylon” was one of the best songs to come out of late 2000/early 2001. Vocally, singer Marc Roberge sounds a bit like Gray, and musically the song has that soaring buildup that I loved so much from Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars”.

The Ting Tings—Shut Up and Let Me Go
Made popular by being featured in an iPod ad, this track is a cute and catchy blend of precociousness and sass. A bratty British chick pouting over a track that sounds a lot like a 1987 song by The Cure called "Hot Hot Hot". The best breakup song since Katy Perry’s “UR So Gay”. And speaking of Katy Perry…

Katy Perry--Hot & Cold
Hot on the heels of her seriously overplayed yet pretty brilliant single “I Kissed a Girl” comes another excellently-produced and dancey track. Both tracks were produced by Dr. Luke, who has also worked with Kelly Clarkson, Pin, Avril Lavigne, Leona Lewis, Daughtry, and a host of others. About two more weeks and I’ll be sick of it, though.

Shiny Toy Guns--Ricochet!/Frozen Oceans
Two new tracks from the soon to be released second album “Season of Poison”. Featuring the vocals of new singer Sisely Treasure, the songs are as close to polar opposites as you can get. “Ricochet” is all sass and noise, reminding me of a hybrid blend of KMFDM and Lords of Acid. It took several listens to grow on me, but grow it did. At the opposite end of the spectrum is “Frozen Oceans” is an ethereal lush ballad with a soaring soundscape amidst the chorus: “10,000 miles apart, a frozen ocean joins our heart. I can’t wait to meet you when the frozen waves meet ocean floors. You’ll be standing on the shore; I can’t wait to meet you then…”

The Veronicas--Untouched
I should probably hate this song just on principal, but I can’t. This song will be a huge mega-hit for twin sisters Jess and Lisa Origliasso, which means it will become so overplayed that I will no longer be able to stand it, but it’s fast, catchy, really well-produced and full of this angsty nervous energy. I’m really digging the beat and the synth-sampled strings.

Adele--Chasing Pavements
I know that I've talked smack about those Motown-soundalikes that are pervading the airwaves these days, but there's something about this song that I realy like. It's not over-produced like most of the tracks out there, and even though I don't even really like the style of music on the whole, Adele has a really nice voice and the video for the song kinda compels you to listen and watch and enjoy.

Gavin Rossdale--Love Remains The Same
Who would have guessed that Gavin Rossdale, former frontman of the Brit rock band Bush, could actually sing a very pleasant ballad? I hate you, Gavin. You're painfully good-looking, you have a painfully hot wife (he's married to Gwen Stefani), even your kids are good-looking, and now you have to rub it in that you can carry off a power ballad? This is a far cry from Bush songs like "Machinehead" and "Everything Zen", but it's a huge step in a new direction and it's realy quite good.

Soundtrack To My Life

The Lightning Man’s MojoSteve Soundtrack:

It’s no secret to anyone who’s known me for more than 17 seconds that music is one of my absolute true loves. I can associate so many songs with pivotal moments in my life, and for so many songs I can tell you exactly where I was & even in some cases what I was wearing when I first heard it.

Truth be told, I agonized over this list. Some of the songs came easily, the first 8 or 9. Then I started to think of more songs that were important to me. I wanted a list of 10 songs, then it became 20, 25, and then I thought 37 songs, one for each year of my life…I ended up with a list over 50 songs long.

So, here’s a list of my defining tunes; a soundtrack to my life, per se, if you will.



1.Enjoy The Silence- Depeche Mode
It’s an obvious choice. My most favorite song ever. I never get sick of it. It’s the one song in the known universe that my friends can hear & instantly think of me. If ever I had a signature song, this is it. It brings back so many great memories, in addition to being a great track.

And the rest of the songs are in no particular order. Not all the songs will receive lengthy comments.

2. Just Like Heaven—The Cure
How can people say the Cure’s music is always doom & gloom? Not hardly. This song has a timeless beauty to it, and always makes me smile.
3. Dreamlike State---Erasure
Simple, beautiful, and yet layered in a complex cascade of yumminess. Erasure is one of the best synth-pop acts ever, and have been so overlooked that it's nigh-on criminal.
4. There Is A Light That Never Goes Out---The Smiths
Sure, you don’t think of Morrissey as a romantic guy, but the song is so plaintive.It yanks at your heart-strings.
5. Vanishing Point---New Order
Awesome beats & complex layers of tracks, but the chorus is the killer. “I’ve seen what a man can do; I’ve seen all the hate of a woman too.”
6. One—U2
It’s achingly beautiful and emotional. Probably the best U2 track ever.
7. Red Letter Day---Pet Shop Boys
It was hard to think of just one PSB track, but this is bouncy and happy yet carries a great message of love & hope.
8. Fall On Me---REM
One of my first REM songs. Along with South Central Rain, this song got me into REM. There was this douchebag in high school who said REM was *his* band and that I wasn’t cool enough to listen to them because I liked Depeche Mode. What a fucking tool. Last I heard he was getting beat up by the U-Maine rugby team on a regular basis.
9. The Scientist/Fix You---Coldplay
Okay, so it’s really two songs from 2 different cd’s. But these songs are so sad and mournful and brilliantly gorgeous. Listening to them back to back, if you have a dry eye by the end, you’re a cold, cold creature.
10. Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go?---Soft Cell
Hell, how can anyone not dig this song? It was one of the first synthpop songs, and it was critical in forging my love of synth music. Catchy keyboard riffs and it guarantees to get you dancing. Get me some eyeliner!
11. Wishing (If I Had a Photograph Of You)---A Flock of Seagulls
The Flock were never appreciated in their time. They also helped get me into the alternative music scene.
12. Only You---Yazoo
This was supposed to be a Depeche Mode song but it turned out even better with Alison Moyet’s vocals. Another great synthpop song of love lost.
13. Forever Young---Alphaville
Whether the original ballad or the club version, this song is just incredible. It was the only reason I thought Napoleon Dynamite was worth watching.
14. I Melt With You---Modern English
Granted, this song is overplayed now. I hear it every day it seems., thanks to those wretched 80’s Lunches on every top 40 station. Back in 1983, only the coolest of cool people knew the song and had the album it came from, in addition to the soundtrack to Valley Girl, which made the song famous. The song itself was my measuring point for what a cool date was…if the date was so awesome it made me think of this song, it was a memorable date.
15. Love My Way/The Ghost In You---Psychedelic Furs
Again, you have to play them together to fully appreciate the magic of these songs. Forget "Pretty In Pink"; these are the true great Furs’ songs.
16. Cuts You Up---Peter Murphy
You have to listen to this at 3AM, driving under a full moon, letting the violin and Peter’s rich voice meld together to suck you under…
17. The Killing Moon---Echo & The Bunnymen
Also a good one to listen to at night, but preferably with the lights out, laying on the bed, staring at glow-in-the-dark stars. It also will suck you under. Play this and Cuts You Up back to back....wow.
18. Let Me Go!---Heaven 17
One of the quintessential dance tracks of my time in Germany.
19. Bittersweet---Big Head Todd & The Monsters
A great song about being miserable in a relationship and neither of you know quite what to do to fix it. "We work our way around each other..."
20. Never Tear Us Apart---INXS
Achingly beautiful. The last song to make the saxophone cool.
21. Possession---Sarah McLachlan
Almost sinister, yet mesmerizing.
22. Love Will Tear Us Apart---Joy Division
So what if it’s on every essential list of the 80’s? It’s there for a reason.
23. 88 Lines About 44 Women---The Nails
The dude is singing praises about 44 women he’s screwed. Everyone who was worth hanging out with in the 80’s knew this song by heart. It was the coolest in-joke ever.
24. Troy---Sinead O’Connor
Long before she conquered the universe with Nothing Compares 2 U, the girl with the most powerful voice in Ireland was blowing me away.
25. Under The Milky Way---The Church
Another song to listen to in the darkest hours. Any song with bagpipes has to be good, don’tcha think?
26. If I Had $1,000,000.00---Barenaked Ladies
My first BNL song. Absolute genius at its wittiest. Dijon Ketchup!
27. Adam’s Song---Blink 182
It reminds me of a friend who died.
28. Any Little Town---The Push Stars
Hard to believe I discovered this awesome song on the store Muzak in an Eddie Bauer at the mall.
29. Hum---The Shiela Divine
TSD is what Nirvana could have been if they’d had talent & wrote decent songs and Cobain could sing. Along with the Push Stars, some of the best unknown talent in Boston.
30. Headhunter---Front242
One of the greatest electronic body music songs ever. Period. This is what techno should have been if the kids on X hadn’t taken over.
31. Lightning Man---Nitzer Ebb
The song that spawned my alter ego. Baby! Come to Daddy!
32. October Love Song---Chris & Cosey
Part spoken word, part lullaby, completely gorgeous.
33. Du Hast---Rammstein
I first heard this song sitting in my car in a Boston suburb, and I was totally hooked. Of course, I actually knew what the words were too, which helped. The perfect song to play when stuck in traffic.
34. Modigliani (Lost In Your Eyes)---Book Of Love
One of the most under-rated synthpop acts ever. Another song you can’t get enough of.
35. Books on the Bonfire---The Bolshoi
An incredibly powerful song that brings the novel Fahrenheit 451 to life.
36. This Is The Day---The The
I love the opening lines: Well... you didn't wake up this morning,'cause you didn't go to bed. You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red……
37. Solsbury Hill---Peter Gabriel
A timeless classic. It always reminds me of a time when I felt I didn’t quite fit in anywhere, and in my head I was like, so what?
38. Holiday In Cambodia---Dead Kennedys
The song that gave me an outlet for teen angst & anger, and I wore the t-shirt at graduation under my cap & gown.
39. Mad World---Tears For Fears
Forget Shout. Forget Everybody Wants To Rule The World. This was their best song, long before they got huge.
40. Rock The Bells---LL Cool J
One of the greatest hip hop songs ever. I was 16, and here was this kid, also 16, tossing these unbelievable rhymes. And it made me think, if he can do it at 16, hell, I can do anything too.
41. Moments In Love---Art Of Noise
This song is epic. A trip across the mindscape in an ocean of bliss.
42. The Band Played Walzting Matilda---The Pogues
Me and my inner circle in Germany, walking across the base on a Friday night, a bit intoxicated, all of us singing this song together. And then we run into the base chaplain, walking with the Archbishop of San Fransisco. And all we could think of was , wow, that’s a HUGE cross that dude’s wearing.
43. Love Is a Stranger---Eurythmics
While everyone else was over-playing Sweet Dreams, I was listening to a much cooler song.
44. Why?/Small Town Boy---Bronski Beat
A screaming falsetto layered over great synths. Maybe it’s an acquired taste?
45. Head Like A Hole---Nine Inch Nails
This song single-handedly kept me sane when I was sent to Fort Riley in 1990. I’m proud to say I was into NIN before it was cool & trendy.
46. Here’s Where The Story Ends---The Sundays
A gorgeous little gem by a band that should have gotten a lot bigger.
47. Paul Revere---The Beastie Boys
I was 17 and impressionable. And the Beasties ruined me.
48. This Corrosion/Lucretia My Reflection---Sisters of Mercy
Sweeping epic Goth operatic opus that makes me yearn for a leather jacket and black boots
49. Sandstorm---Darude
Perhaps the most absolute perfect techno dance club track to drive a hunnert miles an hour to.
50. Love is a Shield---Camouflage
Great dance-pop from Germany. They deserved to get bigger, but people thought they sounded too much like Depeche Mode I guess.