Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Brits are getting ticked off at No.10 Downing


Another weekend comes to a close, and in an hour or so I'm off to bed so I can get up & slay the corporate demons that haunt my daily existence. The weekend flies by so fast. I try to sleep as much as possible to try and make up for the sleep I lose during the week.

I try to write as much as possible on the weekends, and you'll have noticed that I tend to post 3 to 4 times some weekends and only a couple times during the week. This month is an exception to the rule, as I've been blessed enough to have been able to write a lot this month. In fact, this has been my most prolific month to date. My goal was to better my yearly tally of posts in each successive year, which I've done, and I'm so, so very grateful to you guys, my readers, who are letting my corner of the Interwebz grow & flourish, and let me know that maybe I'm not wasting my time doing this after all. This month saw me more than double the ranks of my subscribers, and that really warms my heart. Thanks, guys.

Tonight I wanted to send you over across the pond to read a couple of fascinaing articles from a British newspaper, The Sun. Yeah, I know what you're thinking; it's a rag, a tabloid, basically a New York Post with a topless chick on page 3....but I read it along with a couple other British papers online to get a different feel for the world's news than just by reading the American news sites. (Oddly though I avoid the BBC...too dry for me).

The Sun and The Daily Mail are very much behind the British soldiers in Afghanistan, much more so than the token Support Our Troops given by the US Mainstream Media (MSM), mostly because our MSM is a Liberal Cesspool. Today's Sun has a couple of great articles about British fact, The Sun has just started what looks to become a series of articles calling the government to task. A quote from one of their articles:
Our leaders are pretending the war isn't happening. Today, The Sun asks the Government and Gordon Brown: Where is your leadership?

As the hearses carrying our heroes are saluted in silent Wiltshire streets, Mr Brown and his ministers are missing in action.

There is an air of unreality in the country. While Our Boys are dying, a fool who is out of his depth and with little experience is in charge of defence.

Wounded heroes are fobbed off with pittances and generals are ignored when they beg for better kit. Our troops deserve better. Much, much better.

Mr Brown has taken the country to war but is ducking responsibility for the conduct of it. The tradition of our country is that in wartime, the Prime Minister takes charge.

Here's more:

This first one is a brilliant portrait of retired Major Chris Hunter, the Royal Army's top bomb squad guy.

And the other article details Prime Minister Gordon Brown's trip to Afghanistan, looking very uncomfortable to be there around soldiers who don't care for him much and not staying very long at all. The crux of the article is how Brown got skewered by a question by a young Lance Corporal who wanted to know why the troops were still being assessed the British equivalent of income taxes while deployed outside on England in a war zone.

Another article shows a soldier's mother using her own money to buy her deployed son better equipment than what crap the Army issued him so that he'll survive his latest deployment intact. Reminds me of our own boys getting folks to send them armor plating for Humvees and better body armor early in the war.

Bravo, Sun!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Muammar & Fitch, maybe?

Is there a special Gap or Abercrombie store where you go to buy tinpot dictator clothes? Maybe Banana Republic? (thank you, I’ll be here all weekend…try the veal!)

I ask because I just don’t quite get the fashion sense of Muammar Khaddafi. The dude looks like total shit these days, clothes notwithstanding. It’s like he’s become the love child of Gene Simmons and Mickey Rourke, and not the 9½ Weeks Mickey, but this latest incarnation that looks like a burn victim. But really, where does MuMu get these outfits?

You’d think that a guy who’s been a dictator for some 25 or 30 years would fancy himself a General or Field Marshal, but not our MuMu…he still thinks he’s a Colonel. I’m really curious as to what all those medals signify, too. I mean, shit, did he just send one of his bootlickers to the Interwebz to buy whatever was colorful to fill up his Salad Bar?

(Salad bar…for you civilians, that’s what we military types call the rows of ribbons on our dress uniforms. Real medals are called “gongs”.)

MuMu not only has an impressive collection, but some tailor fashioned them into a cloth patch so they could sew the damned things onto everything MuMu owns. Robes? They’re on there. A leftover suit from Miami Vice? On there. And not just the ribbons, but his little Lee™ Press-On Maps of Africa. Always on there.

Look, Mooey….when you come over here to pitch your Bedouin tent in the Jersey burbs like it’s some bullshit camping trip, send that fruity-looking buck-toothed son of yours to the mall in Paramus to get you some fresher gear. I know the kid is busy getting your pet terrorist Megrahi all settled into his new Al-Queda Apartment, but let’s update the look, shall we?

Weekend at Teddy's

I got a text yesterday from Guest Blogger Chris asking why I hadn’t yet done my Ted Kennedy obituary…

Damn that Kennedy; he picked a rather inopportune week to shuffle off this mortal coil, as I was busily filling the shoes of my boss while he partied it up in Vegas on holiday.

So now that I have a moment, I can sort through all the crap everyone is slinging to and fro about America’s biggest Liberal, a mantle he wore with great pride, and drop a few of my opinions.

There were actually a few things about Ted that I could admire and respect. The dude had big shoes to fill as the youngest offspring of Joe Kennedy. He had to suffer through his brother Joe Junior being blown up while training for a secret mission, his sister Kathleen’s death in a plane crash, his sister’s Rosemary’s failed lobotomy, and the assassinations of his brothers John and Robert. One has to respect the fact that he was indeed a United States Senator, despite disagreement with his political beliefs. The dude had been in office since 7 years before I was born. I even have to acknowledge the fact that he, like me, served in the Army as an MP, although his connections gave him the cushy details.

My heart goes out to his wife and his kids. To them, he was a husband & father, and to them that’s who they lost; a spouse and a parent.

But…all you straphangers trying to ride the coat-tails of his death to get ahead are just sad. He was a rich old politician who died of a brain tumor. After all, the man was 77; he wasn’t a spring chicken. He wasn’t the Second Coming that people are making him out to be.

Ted was kicked out of Harvard for cheating when he asked another kid to take his Spanish test. He should have tried harder at Spanish, since the Libs are letting Mexico take over the nation, but I digress. Ted had that nasty little episode at Chappaquiddick, which I wrote about last month…there’s nothing to respect about leaving someone to die as you walk home & sleep off your drunk and use your connections to get off scot-free.

While I applaud the way he called the families of each Massachusetts victim of 9/11, 177 in all, and he pushed for restarting the Humvee assembly lines to up-armor them after attending the funeral of a young soldier and befriending his family, it’s a little-discussed fact that Ted couldn’t even call Mary Jo Kopechne’s parents after his actions killed her. He actually made his sister-in-law Ethel, Bobby’s widow, make the call. Newsweek reporter Ed Klein, a friend of Ted’s, has now come forward to say that Teddy loved to hear jokes about Chappaquiddick. How classy

I saw this headline in the news: “Will any Kennedy be able to fill his shoes?” My answer: WHO CARES? People, he was an elected official, not royalty, despite what Libs think. So the oldest living Kennedy died…ya’ll act like it’s a frikkin’ hereditary title. I saw shit like, “Sen. Edward Kennedy's death has raised questions about who in the next generation will take up the Kennedy family's political mantle. “, and “The most dominant political dynasty of the 20th century has lost its youngest son, leaving many to wonder whether the next generation has what it takes to continue the Kennedy family's legacy.”

Again, who cares? Maybe their time has passed, and some regular folks can be in politics for awhile, instead of another generation of bluebloods from Mecca’s Vineyard?

The mayor of Boston said some gibberish about Ted Kennedy being a man of the people and a working-class guy…and that’s crap. He grew up filthy rich. He never had a regular blue collar job in his life.

Teddy was instrumental in getting the voting age lowered from 21 to 18. Sounds great at first, but you know why they did that? Because the older you get the less you buy into that liberal crap they spoon-feed you. Get the younger voters before they know any better! Indoctrinate them in the schools and get them hooked on your rhetoric and they’ll be yours forever!

The race to determine who’ll succeed him? He brought that shit on himself. When John “Swift Boat” Kerry was running for President, Ted led the charge to change state laws to make it so that then-Governor Mitt Romney, a Republican, couldn’t appoint a successor to Kerry’s vacant seat. Ted figured the voters of the Bay State would pick another liberl Dem……and now they have another Democrat as Governor , and they was scramblin’ like roaches when you turn on the light to try and force another change to allow the governor to hand-pick Ted’s successor rather than wait for a special election; they’re scared shitless that the voters will elect a Republican after the Dems have buggered this country up so badly.

Blow up the pic to read the gory details...

Fox News quoted a doctor as saying that despite his tumor, Ted had a high quality of life. Well, no shit, Doc. He could afford it. He wasn’t on shitty government-run socialized healthcare like he was championing for us pee-ons. He was filthy-ass rich. The kind of rich where you can still get the best oncologists in New England to make housecalls to your COMPOUND on Mecca’s Vin-yud. Blue collar people live in compounds too, folks, although instead of a mansion, several guest houses, a pool, and tennis courts it’s called a TRAILER PARK.

Oh, yeah…push that healthcare bill through…do it for Teddy, that’s the rally cry now….pass the Teddy Bill… ironic that you idiots want to name the bill that’ll damn us all after a guy who’d never have had to use that shitty free healthcare because he was a rich & privileged elitist with a bevy of folks at his beck and bellow.

Or maybe the should call it the Teddy Bill…..after it gets passed and the DMV is running the hospitals, the Feral Gummint™ will just swim away from the sinking car and leave the rest of us to drown.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Marky Mark sez: Et Tu, Andre?


So, now we here in South Carolina are hearing non-stop about how Lieutenant Governor Andre Bauer is calling for embattled Governor Mark Sanford to step down and resign. Our state’s second in command cites the media frenzy over Marky-Mark’s adulterous philandering and claiming that the state is crippled by questions over the legality of the governor's travel, which included trips to visit his mistress in Argentina.

Bauer says he tried to give the governor the benefit of the doubt after he admitted to having an affair. But now Bauer says he worries that calls for Sanford's impeachment will dominate next year's legislative session, instead of issues like the economy and job creation.

"The serious misconduct that has been revealed along with lingering questions and continuing distractions make it virtually impossible for our state to solve the critical problems we're facing without a change in leadership," he said.

What an utter load of crap.

The state is far from crippled. Last I saw, I was contending with thousands of my fellows going on with their business as usual on my way to work. Nobody seemed crippled to me. I didn’t see anyone on a street corner looking disheveled and unable to go on, inconsolable and wracked with uncontrollable sobs all because Mark cheated on Jenny and didn’t always fly coach.

Whoopty freakin' doooooooooooo! That and five bucks will get you a half-decaf Austrian goat-milk caramel mocha macchiato with double foam and just a touch of Madagascar cinnamon.

A few years back, I recall a certain President of them there Yew-nited States was found to have been getting his carrot waxed by an intern while on the phone with members of Congress and donating a skeeted-up blue dress to the dry cleaners of the local area.

The Slick One was impeached whilst a lame duck, ineligible for re-election, and was able to still stay in power, still reside in the Whitest of Houses, and his humiliated wife went on to be a Congresscreature herself and later an impotent Secretary of State who was sent on a crap errand to Obama’s ancestral Kenyan homeland, whilst Slick Willy went and secured the release of two young Asian reporter chix from Kim Jong Mentally Ill.

In plain English: Clinton was of a higher office leading 300 million people, committed his crimes inside the White House, was impeached by Congress, and was still allowed to finish his term with no more than a wrist-slap on the road to immortality. Sanford did his philandering in another country, away from his 4.5 million constituents, and after the state legislature reconvenes, he’ll have barely a year left in office.

At least Sanford has never been held at gunpoint by a cop……

According to his driving record with the South Carolina Department of Motor Vehicles, Bauer has had at least two accidents, four tickets and one suspended license for failure to pay a ticket.

On May 6, 2003, Bauer was stopped on Assembly Street in downtown Columbia for running two red lights and speeding up to 60 mph in a 35 mph zone. The officer drew his gun after Bauer got out of the car and began heading toward the officer's car in an "aggressive manner." He was issued a ticket for reckless driving.

On December 26, 2005, Bauer got a warning for speeding (77 mph in a 65 mph zone) in Laurens County, South Carolina. On February 25, 2006, Bauer was pulled over for speeding over 100 mph in Chester County, South Carolina in a state-issued car, but he was allowed to proceed without a ticket or warning.

So who’s more dangerous to South Cackalacky, the guy who can’t keep it in his pants or the guy who can barely keep it on the road? I don't condone what Sanford did, not one iota, but at least he's taken ownership of the problem.....and Bauer's just trying to save his own ass from being shut out of future political considerations by poisoned association.

Afterbirthers Demand To See Obama's Placenta (from The Onion)

I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes when this was read by Todd Schnitt today on his radio show. It was taken from The Onion's site.

WASHINGTON–In the continuing controversy surrounding the president's U.S. citizenship, a new fringe group informally known as "Afterbirthers" demanded Monday the authentication of Barack Obama's placenta from his time inside his mother's womb. "All we are asking is that the president produce a sample of his fetal membranes and vessels—preferably along with a photo of the crowning and delivery—and this will all be over," said former presidential candidate and Afterbirthers spokesman Alan Keyes, later adding that his organization would be willing to settle for a half-liter of maternal cord plasma. "To this day, the American people have not seen a cervical mucus plug, let alone one that has been signed and notarized by a state-certified Hawaiian health official. If the president was indeed born in the manner in which he claims, then where is his gestation sac?" Keyes said that if Obama did not soon produce at least a bloody bedsheet from his conception, Afterbirthers would push forward with efforts to exhume the president's deceased mother and inspect the corpse's pelvic bone and birth canal.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Is u smarter than a 5th grader?

We here at the Lightning Man Global Propaganda Network, and Global Domination Through Applied Inactivity, pride ourselves on the ability to write clear, coherent statements.

In general, we try like hell to get our facts straight and supply good intel for you, our readers, agents, and operatives, so that you can properly carry out your mission directive, which would be to take over the world by doing nothing.

However, some folks wanna whine & snivel & complain. I mean, after all, this isn't a professional blog or anything, and it really is just a collection of my opinions...but hey, some people just gotta shit in my Easter Basket. A week after I posted it, no less....

And I generally take umbrage at people who try to correct me when I'm actually right.

They get Dealt With.

So, venture back over to that post I did last week and read through the comments. You might get a laugh out of it. And if you get offended by 4-letter words, I apologize in advance.

Save me from idiots

Save me.

Save me from idiots.

Save me from the idiots that I am forced to deal with all day, every day, without end, ad nauseum. Save me from idiots who refuse to learn. Save me from idiots who refuse to work WITH you, only AGAINST you, because they think they know better. Save me from people who can't drive. Save me from people who have no effing clue that the little stick on the steering column makes a blinky light turn on that lets me know what direction you will be careening in next. Save me from idiots who just assume, but don't ask. Save me from idiots who think I can change orders at a second's notice. Save me from self-important, self-absorbed asstards who think EVERYTHING is an emergency, ASAP job just for them. Save me from idiots, because I have at least one box of ammo left.

There. I feel better now. Back to work....

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Take a look around (from Guest Blogger Chris)

Chris comes through in the clutch! This week is a nightmare for me at work, with my boss in Vegas on vacation and me running the show as best I can...I'm not gonna have much time to write this week at all. So my former Army self gets rescued by a former Marine....*grin*

This post comes to us courtesy of my dear friend Chris, my buddy for almost 26 years now. This started as a comment on the Megrahi blog and when it got too big for Blogger to allow as a comment, it morphed into a life of its own.....


You know, I don't have much to say about England and Scotland...hell about the whole EU for that matter. It makes me sick to my stomach really that my people would let someone like that go free, ESPECIALLY after all they went through to put the man in prison in the first place!!!

The last time I checked PRISON is not CLUB MED! You DON'T get to have fun, you DON'T get to do things like go outside when you want and see your friends and play with your kids and pet the know why?? Because PRISON is SUPPOSED to be a freaking PUNISHMENT!!!! And they let him go because he’s SICK?? BOO-FRIKKIN-HOO! If you ask me that’s just karma!!!

OK, so I lied....I did have something to say about it....maybe it's just that, like Steve, my family comes from the Isles. A full half of me is Scottish, another quarter Irish. So yes, while I think that Scotland should be its own country and NOT part of the UK, just like Ireland should be free, when things like this happen it makes me think that maybe we don't deserve to rule ourselves...this is/was a bad decision.

There was no way for this to have ended any other way than badly. On the other hand, they could have diagnosed him, KEPT him in jail, and no one would have blinked an eye. Read that again s-l-o-w-l-y people: N-O O-N-E W-O-U-L-D H-A-V-E B-L-I-N-K-E-D A-N E-Y-E...did I get my point across, Scotland the Brave????

But, that sadly brings me to my next point (and y'all thought I was done!): The good ol’ USA. I love my country, I really, really do. But it seems to me that there is a HUGE lack of common sense's like those people who are geniuses that are off-the-charts smart but have ZERO common sense, and those people who are dumb as
bricks but have common sense oozing out of their pores.

The US Government in many respects is that genius. The vast majority of the people in the US are the ones with common sense. I’m not saying that the people are dumb as bricks, however. My point is, if we as a country as so smart and we’re so superior to everyone else (or so we think) that we have the balls to tell the rest of the world how to act and what to do, why can't we take care of our own affairs at home here first???

We have ZERO business feeding other people in other countries if we can't figure out how to feed our own people. We can't send aid to everyone else when we have homeless VETERANS living on the streets in EVERY city in America (you know…the land of the free and the home of the brave???). And not just veterans; whole FAMILIES living under bridge abutments and in their cars....where do WE get off telling ANYONE else how to go about governing THEIR country when we can't govern our own effectively?? (By the way, don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m saying I don't support our troops or anything like that...I’m against wasting funds on others when we can be using them here....we have many wars to be fought right here on our soil; they just aren't the profitable ones.)

But what do I know? I am just a down in the dirt, everyday citizen who goes to work, gets dirty, goes home and feeds my family. Lather, rinse,

But just because I am who I am doesn’t mean I’m blind. The injustices are here in front of you if you simply open your eyes to them. For example: go to Washington, D.C. and tour the city. Enjoy yourselves, do the touristy things during the day...cross the river to Rosslynn and see the monuments over there at dusk...look back across the river to the Capitol of the Free World....what do you see????

Now, go BACK into DC; go to the Mall around the Capitol and walk three blocks off the Mall in any direction and tell me what you see now...

I'll tell you what I saw when I lived there: homeless people covered in rags, sleeping over Metrorail vents, or over sidewalk portholes that have steam coming out of them just because they’re warm (never mind that they have a habit of exploding 30 feet straight up in the air and will kill you if one lands on you), wrapping themselves in whatever they can find because they don't have anything else.

Stop and talk to those people and hear what they say; still feel good about all the "good" we do for the rest of the world??? When we have whole families that can't eat; vets that can't get help, can't find jobs, and have no where to turn because our government won't help them so they end up on the streets; battered women who had to run and live on the streets because it was the only way to survive and there are no programs to help them; and yet we send BILLIONS AND BILLIONS AND BILLIONS of dollars in aid to foreign countries to feed their children.

Still feel good about your country and how we take care of our own??

And that is just in the Capital of the Free World; never mind it being the Capital of the United States of America! Take a look off the beaten paths of your own town’s and city’s streets; our people are in need and they are EVERYWHERE!!! I personally am damned ashamed to see the posturing that we do on the world stage telling other countries what they have to do to ensure basic human rights when we can't even ensure basic human rights for our own people or even feed ourselves...where do we get off telling ANYONE else how to run their lives???

I love my country, yes I do. But I don't have to love my government or the people who run it. My grandfather told me a LONG time ago that even if I didn't respect the man who is President you have to respect the office. I love you dearly, grandfather, but I’m not so sure I can follow that advice anymore. We’re sinking rapidly down the rabbit hole, and I for one am not sure I want to know how deep it goes.

This goes way beyond mere Democrat or Republican battle lines....this goes to the very core of who we are as a people and who we are as a nation. My wife tells me all the time: "Mean what you say and say what you mean." It's a simple philosophy we just need to get the men and women who "think" they are in charge to follow it or we need to get new people! The "leadership" of this country certainly doesn't have any CLUE as to what that mantra means. I see a lot of lips moving but I’m not hearing anything come out of their mouths that I can take to the proverbial bank...

So much for not having anything to say...don't even get me STARTED on illegal immigration!!!!! Thanks for reading....I really needed to get that off my chest!!!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Low-Key, my ass...

Hugs and Kisses and Terror! Oh, my!

Y’know…I’m beginning to think I’m some kind of idiot savant with psychic leanings. I’m starting to mention things here, and then things mysteriously happen. I call attention to the Gestapo Snitch Line, and then suggest that you might wanna spam it a bit and send them stuff like oh, say, the entire verbiage of the health-scare bill, and within a week the Feral Gummint™ has to shut down the Snitch Line. I point out the toxic idiocy behind the Cash for Clunkers Program mandate to destroy the trade-ins and the inability of dealers to get repaid, and within a couple days they shut down the program citing that it’s out of money. I tell you about Obie’s upcoming vacation to Mecca’s Vineyard, and not only does Cindy Sheehan say she’ll tag along, and The First Vacationers had to reschedule their grand and glorious arrival amongst the idle rich as what’s left of Hurricane Bill floated past.

And then I told ya’ll about a Scottish judge who was fixin’ to let convicted Pan Am 103 bomber Abdel Baset al-Megrahi out of jail on a compassionate release so he could die at home in Libya from his prostate cancer.

And it happened.

The Libyans promised that his release would be “low-key” out of respect to everyone involved, and that was bullshit. Libyan leader/head crackpot Muammar al-Khaddafi (pick your favorite spelling) sent a private Airbus jumbo jet to pick up his old buddy. The crowds gathered in Tripoli to meet our returning terrorist made the scene look like the arrival of the Beatles in New York in 1964. Thousands cheered and waved flags and threw rose petals. Levaes the prison wrapped in a white robe and towel, damn near on a gurney, and exits the plane in a dapper black suit walking down the stairs with only a little help.

A hero's welcome for Megrahi, hand being held aloft by, I believe, Khaddafi's son, Saif al-Islam Khaddafi.

With television cameras rolling, Khaddafi hugged Megrahi, and Megrahi kissed him. Libya's leader then praised his "friend" British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and the British government on Thursday for what he called their "courage" in allowing Megrahi's release.

Megrahi’s wife was all jubilant because he got released in time for the holy month of Ramadan. Isn’t that nice? Let’s all celebrate Ramadan, why don’t we? What about the 270 people he blew up four days before Christmas?

Still strapped in their seats, there's over a dozen bodies under that slab of twisted metal that used to house the flight deck and part of the first class section.

Supposedly, Megrahi is so sick that he has but just three months left to live. Something tells me that he’ll linger on awhile, advising Libya and every other terrorist state on how best to continue killing us.

Maybe they’ll hold a summit meeting and call a conclave of terrorists that we keep releasing? You have Khalid Duhham Al-Jawary, a former car bomber that we cut loose back in January. We have Said al-Shihiri, released after six years in Gitmo and then turns up as the Number 2 guy in al-Qaeda in Yemen. And now we have Megrahi running free again.

Even if he does die by the end of the year, he’ll still be an inspirational martyr for the next generation of terrorist assholes. He’s the man who slayed the infidels, was imprisoned illegally in some infidel jail, was given prostate cancer by infidel scientists, and was released under the pressure of fear of reprisals from glorious Islam and the brave warriors of Allah, blessed be his name. Excuse me whilst I puke.

And the Scottish government has the gall to be all indignant that the rest of the world is pissed off for this guy going free. But I regularly peruse a couple British newspapers online and the comments that readers leave on the articles about this seem to side against the government. And of course the whole Gordon Brown administration is scrambling fast to deny that they released Megrahi for a huge oil deal for BP.

Remember when we took Libya of the terrorist watch list and they agreed to pay restitution of a couple billion dollars for this little plane-bomb thing? Yeah, it seems they are trying to opt out of the last $400 million, claiming that we didn't take them off the list fast enough. Kiss my ass, Libya. Maybe we should just put you BACK on the list? Remember, Muammar, we bombed your ass once in your safe tent in the desert, and we shot down a couple of your planes before as well. We should have shot this one down too. Oh, wait...Reagan was President back then, and he had a spine. This one will just invite you over for a beer. A shame you Muslims don't drink...

Here’s a final bit of food for thought… He served only six years in prison for killing 270 people. Do the math. That’s approximately 11.5 days in jail for each person he killed; e-l-e-v-e-n days. How much is your family worth?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Lose a blogger, gain a blogger. I need your support again!


It is with a semi-heavy heart that I report to you all that we here at Global Domination Through Applied Inactivity will no longer have the services of Guest Blogger Jim. Many of you have enjoyed his scathing diatribes and pithy comments (under the moniker jsumm)as part of my Global Domination network of Guest Bloggers, but now...well...I have to let my boy go his own way. Jim's wife started her own blog this past week (and thanks to those of you who are supporting it), and now so has he.

I cordially invite everyone to go check out, read, subscribe to, and support Jim's new blog, The Oh, Bama! Files. ( Follow Jim as he chronicles the pratfalls of The Lincoln of Our Times™ and regales us with his wit and wisdom.

My loss is the Interwebz' gain!

Hey, Britons...Take back your country!

That’s it. I give up.

England, I renounce you as the ancestral homeland of the bulk of my gene pool. I grew up with a deep love of the U.K., but I’m really disillusioned now.

Once upon a time, the sun never set on the British Empire. You used to run half the world. And now you’ve become a ridiculous shell of your former glory because your government bends over backwards in its absolutely asinine efforts to kiss every Muslim ass on the island. You may as well just close Number 10 Downing Street and turn it into a mosque. Wrap the Queen in a burka and change your name to the United British Emirates.

You can have a separate Emir for England, Scotland, and Wales…and then when the Islamics kill off all the Catholics and Protestants, Ireland will be united once again as the Islamic Emerald Emirate.

Where France has banned Muslim women from swimming in public pools whilst wearing “burquinis”, you idiots not only support the burquini, but British swimming pools have begun hosting special Muslim swim sessions during which swimmers — including non-Muslims — are banned from entering the pool if their swimming attire doesn't comply with dress code required by Islamic custom. One British lawmaker defended the Muslim swim sessions, stating that they show an appreciation for certain religious groups, like Muslims, who have strict rules on segregation for activities including sports.

Hey, snapperhead…what about the fact that England is NOT a Muslim country and that the Muslim minority should adapt to the country they willingly moved to instead of imposing their will on their hosts and expecting everyone to acquiesce else they get a car bomb?

How about this little tidbit? It seems that many customers of Lloyds TSB banks are being hit with charges of up to £200 a month if they go into the red and overdraft their accounts, while Muslims who use the bank are only being charged £15.

The partly-nationalized bank has been accused of religious discrimination over the disparity between overdraft charges on its standard current account and its Islamic account. The Islamic account was set up by the High Street bank to attract Muslim customers by allowing them to keep faithful to their religion. It seems that Sharia law does not permit the payment of interest so the 'typical' Islamic account at Lloyds TSB has been set up without an overdraft facility.

Again, what in the bloody hell are you doing by allowing Sharia Law to sink its teeth into British life?

You sold out when BP and the government made a deal with Libya…and then the Scots allowed that terrorist scumbag to go home to a hero’s welcome. Way to go, guys.
Your newspapers bitch and complain about your soldiers being killed in Afghanistan and clamor for their return home? Well, maybe they SHOULD come home, so they can fight off the Islamic Invasion from within?

I notice that there’s nary a word from the Queen on any of this. I realize that she’s merely a figurehead, but why give the woman any deference when you won’t defer to her for any leadership? Where’s Prince Charles, the nominal successor to the throne? Why hasn’t he said anything? Because he’s off at Balmoral riding that polo pony he married. Prince of Wales, yet he spends more time in Scotland than in his own principality. Go figure. Maybe he can’t pronounce the name of his estate at Wnsgttevskklspsksnbebegtsgbgh or some other impossible-to-say Welsh-ism?

At least Prince Harry, bless his soul, was trying like hell to deploy with his unit to go fight the enemy. He may have made some youthful errors in judgment before he went into the Army, but he seems to be the last Royal with his priorities straight.

HRH, Prince Harry....Lieutenant Windsor if you prefer.

Keep it up, England. Pretty soon you won’t be able to go sit with your mates for a pint at the local…because Muslims don’t drink…and Sharia Law will outlaw pubs. Maybe when they come for your lager you’ll wake up.

Friday, August 21, 2009

And they said Plaxico means "peaceful"?

Back in December, you may recall that I read the riot act to NFL-star-turned-idiot Plaxico Burress.

Well, if you missed it and are too lazy to go read it, Burress was illegally carrying a concealed handgun in a New York City club and it went off, shooting him in the thigh.


Well, yesterday our errant genius and one-time Super Bowl star accepted a plea bargain with a two-year prison sentence. With time off for good behavior, Burress will likely serve 20 months. He will be monitored during an additional two years of supervised release. Afterwards, he’ll act all contrite, make a couple of insincere PSA's, and then be allowed back into the NFL where some desperate team that needs a receiver on the cheap will snag him up.

Think I’m full of shit? Just look no further than quarterback-turned-convict-turned-quarterback-again Michael Vick, who lost his multi-million dollar contracts with the Falcons and with sponsors after being busted for running a dog fighting operation. In fact, he had to pay back the Falcons $20 million bucks. He served his time, worked a construction job making even less than me while living in a halfway house upon his release, and was just signed by the Philadelphia Eagles, making far more than me.

Millions and millions of dollars and you had nothing better to do than watch two agitated animals kill each other?


And while we’re at it, I may as well kick another football hero in his proverbial cherries, even though he’s dead and can’t defend himself. Call me crass and callous, but I had no sympathy for Steve McNair. His wife and kids? Yes. Him? No.

Dude had a wife and two young kids, in addition to two other kids, and instead of being at home with them, he was out with his 20-year-old mistress. She’d just been busted 2 days prior driving an Escalade registered in both their names while under the influence (underaged no less) and was suspicious that he was dicking around on her as well as his wife…so she grabbed up the handgun that she’s just bought from a convicted murderer and killed him and then herself.


What is it with high-dollar football stars? Practices aside, you work for four hours one day a week for less than five months. Maybe you just have too much time on your hands, and the money & fame goes to your heads?

OJ Simpson’s litany of crimes, from cutting off his wife’s head to kidnapping dudes over his shitty memorabilia; Tank Johnson’s felony weapons charges; Steve Foley, who was shot 3 times by a cop after a high-speed DUI car chase; and that one-man crime spree himself, Pac-Man Jones….morons all.

Welcome to the Morons Club, Plaxy. Your cell is being prepared. Better stock up on smokes and AstroGlide to make your next 20 months or so mo’ easier…

Thursday, August 20, 2009

It sounded good on paper....kinda?

I commute about a hundred miles each day round-trip. Along my route I pass several car dealerships; one large Ford dealership, a recently-shuttered Buick/Pontiac dealership, and (seriously) about 30 used car lots. If I take a slightly different route along two different streets, I’ll still see about 30 used lots, but my number of new dealers would increase to about 9. This said I kinda have a pretty good grasp of the local car business.

When no one was getting financed for new cars, folks were either buying used or just keeping their old cars and fixing them up, which was a boon to local mechanic shops and to parts dealers.

And then along comes Obama’s Quick Fix, Cash for Clunkers.

Even with $2 billion of stimulus money force-fed back into the ailing program, the Feral Gummint™ Car Allowance Rebate System isn't fulfilling its promise of reimbursing cash for clunkers to dealers in a timely manner.

The Cash for Clunkers program is designed to kill two birds with one stone: stimulate the ailing automobile market while getting pollution-heavy, older cars off the roads.

Oddly, though, as part of the program, a dealer must destroy the traded vehicle with some rocket-scientist hocus-pocus.

The service department at each dealership combines 40 percent sodium silicate and 60 percent water to produce "liquid glass." The oil is drained from the vehicle and replaced with the solution, causing the engine to break down. It usually takes two quarts to kill the engine and the government strongly advises the individual disabling it to wear gloves and goggles and avoid any direct contact with the solution. The White House has you fill the system with toxic sludge and then from here, disposal centers pick up the clunkers and turn them into scrap metal full of toxic goodness.

But dealers are holding off on starting the disposal process. The government said that dealerships would be reimbursed – they must give the customer credit at time of trade from their own pockets – within 10 days of submission. Dealers must cover customer rebates out of pocket and wait for reimbursement from the Feral Gummint™. Some have said their reimbursement requests have not been approved, leading to a cash crunch. That's key because dealers typically borrow money to put new cars on their lots and must repay lenders within a few days of a sale.

The Greater New York Automobile Dealers Association, which represents dealerships in the New York metro area, said about half its 425 members have left the program because they cannot afford to offer more rebates. They're also worried about getting repaid, the group said. Dealers are leaving the program by the hundreds because the program, with its recent injection of 2 BILLION dollars on top of the original 1 billion, is reimbursing the dealers at a snail’s pace. They have a couple hundred employees to process a couple hundred THOUSAND reimbursement deals, all time-sensitive.

There’s your Feral Gummint™ at work. They didn’t exactly think this shit through. This program is being run with the usual governmental efficiency one finds in the Postal Service and Amtrak, both hemorrhaging money.

Now, there’s a couple other snags to this program, too. I heard a commercial this morning for a local dealership nudging people towards new cars because due to the C for C program, they had a shortage of used cars from trades to sell. Used car lots are suffering because they have to destroy cars that they’d otherwise be able to sell. And since the cars are to be destroyed, the usable parts that might have ended up in a specialty wholesale parts lot are ending up scrapped. And hell, the scrap is tainted…

So much for the Green Movement, Libs! Sodium carbonate and silicon dioxide react when molten to form sodium silicate and carbon dioxide. That’s right, Al Gore! This awesome program to rid the world of big old Detroit monsters in favor of your little sissy hybrids is creating evil carbon dioxide as a byproduct…and you Global Warming assholes have declared carbon dioxide to be a greenhouse gas that must be stopped at all costs.

The irony is delicious. Save the environment by releasing toxins and greenhouse gas.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Bury my Uterus at Wounded Knee

America’s second-biggest media whore, after Al Sharpton and just above Jesse Jackson, is at it again. Cindy Sheehan, the peacenik protester mom whose son was killed in Iraq five years ago and hasn’t stopped spinning in his grave since, has decided it would be in her best interest to stalk a newer President.

Once famous for her non-stop constant stalking of President Bush to get on TV, um, I mean protest the war and lay the blame for her son’s death solely at the feet of Bush (as if the insurgents had nothing to do with it), Uber-Flake even went so far as to bury her uterus in Crawford, Texas near the Bush ranch. Seriously. Really. She had a hysterectomy and some medical professional suffered a serious lapse in judgement and gave the women her freakin’ yew-ter-us…….and the loonbag buried it near Bush’s house so that her DNA (and thusly her son’s) would forever be a part of Crawford to haunt Bush.

(Insert Twilight Zone theme here)

And here we are, with Obie & Company getting ready for still another va-kay, as if the one last week out west wasn’t enough; Cindy’s Traveling Freakshow Menagerie is descending upon Mecca’s Vineyard, where The Holy Family is renting a 20-million-dollar farm. The hoity-toity bluebloods on The Vin-yid will just loooooooove this farce.

A statement on Sheehan's blog says she and "other like-minded peace activists" want to remind Obama "the body bags aren't taking a vacation."

Perhaps they’ll be labeled an Un-American Angry Mob? Hopefully not…I don’t wanna get lumped in with them. Nahhh, likely they’ll get invited in for a beer and some Wagyu lobstahs. It’ll be wicked cool.

.............Like all good Americans, she hung out with Hugo Chavez...

Sunday, August 16, 2009

It's hunting season again...

Well, shit. Somehow I managed to miss the fact that yesterday was the start of deer hunting season here in South Carolina. We have the longest deer season in the known universe, running from August 15 to December 31st, in an effort to cull down the vast amounts of deer not much bigger than antlered dogs that are rampant in a state that sees summer almost 9 months a year and lacks apex predators to eat them.

So, when the local menfolk aren’t watching NASCAR or football, they’ll be drinking heavily and sitting in a tree waiting for something to wander by so they can try to kill it. The more active hunters will set loose a pack of dogs to herd the deer towards wherever they happen to be sitting, waiting to kill something.

As a non-hunter, this affects me still nonetheless. See, now I’ll have to worry about even more of those damnable Great Dane-sized deer running in front of my car than usual, agitated and scared. My morning commute takes place under cover of darkness and on back-ass country roads for the first 25 miles or so. My other obstacle is hunting dogs. Hounds are a dime a dozen here. A lot of unscrupulous hunters aren’t that concerned with getting all of them back at the end of the hunt, and the worst of the batch just turn them loose at the end of the season to run wild, stray, fending for themselves, rather than spend the effort to feed them like working pets. The ones that really kick my ass are the guys who only want the dogs back because they affixed them with radio collars to track them and the collar is worth more than the dog.

For the next six months now I’m gonna be dodging sad-looking neglected stray hounds walking alongside Highway 17-A. I’ve already seen a couple. Most of them eventually do get rescued though.

So, even though I’m not a hunter, as I previously stated, I do have extensive experience with firearms safety, and I’d like to offer up some helpful advice to you erstwhile hunters out there.

Make sure you know what it is you’re shooting at. Don’t be a dumbass and shoot a horse, cow, goat, dog, or fellow hunter. Be respectful of people’s property, lest they shoot your trespassing ass. Try saving the beers for afterwards, not before and during. I simply can’t fathom someone sitting in a deer stand with a 12-pack and a loaded weapon. Don’t hunt at night. Besides being illegal, the last thing I wanna hear at 1AM is you’re rifle shots and then a four-wheeler dragging the carcass out to your truck. (I was walking the dogs at 3AM today and heard ATV’s about a half-mile off). And lastly, take care of your dogs. They’re just poor animals who happen to have a skill set that differentiates them from the average housepet. Don’t discard them like empty shell casings.

And remember, we still have duck season, hog season, rabbit season, squirrel season, goose season, alligator season, pheasant season, quail season, shotgun season, bow-hunting season, blowgun season, whaling harpoon season, and ATV-mounted Gatling gun season…..