Throwing a few bricks through a few windows

Let me preface this post by stating that it will be chock full of four-letter words, most of them beginning with the sixth letter of the alphabet. I’m not just angry, but verily seething with acrimonious rage at what this country is becoming and how the very fabric of our society has unraveled.

I swore that I would not post anything mean-spirited on 9-11, so as not to tarnish the solemnity of the day of remembrance(not day of service to the gubmint). However, I am starting this at about 1AM on the 12th, so everyone and everything is fair game again. I ground my molars to dust today waiting to get at the keyboard after listening to the news for the past couple days. This post is probably gonna be a LONG one.

I am exceptionally angry. I love this nation. I have defended this nation. And I will not give this nation away.

Where to even start? How about by saying that Jim Clyburn can go fuck himself, and take the NAACP and Lonnie Randolph with him? I’ll follow that up with a swift kick in the balls to Bobby Harrell.


If I lived just a few miles farther southwest, Joe Wilson would be my representative to Congress. Lamentably, I am allegedly represented by Jim Clyburn, currently the House Majority Whip and one of Obama’s chief bootlickers.

Not happy with Wilson’s apology to President Obama after for having shouted "You lie!" at Obama during a speech the other night, Clyburn wants to humiliate Wilson for having the audacity to truthfully proclaim Obama’s true colors. Clyburn says Wilson should go to the floor of the House and give a public apology there.

"That's a cowardly way to do it," Clyburn said of the written statement. "He ought to man up and go down to the well of the House and say, I acted with a lack of decorum the last evening, and I apologize to the President of the United States, and I apologize to my colleagues in both bodies, and I apologize to the people of South Carolina for having done so… I don't think there's ever been this kind of venom or insult directed at the chief executive of the United States of America when he's standing in a joint session," Clyburn said.

Oh, bullshit, Clyburn. Screw decorum. You’re just pissed that someone had the balls to call Obama out as a liar on national TV in the middle of his mental masturbation session. This country is falling apart with an economy that’s in the shitter, we have American troops coming home in bags from some piss-ant Third World dung heap whose chief exports are heroin poppies and terrorists, you stupid bastards on Capitol Hill are bankrupting children who won’t be born for a hundred fucking years yet, you’ve turned us into a neo-Socialist joke by nationalizing the auto industry, the banking industry, the housing industry, and now healthcare, and all you can worry about is fucking decorum and Roger’s Rules of Fucking Order because someone didn’t kiss the President’s ass? Listening to the tapes of it, with all you morons going “Oooooooohhh” after Joe said it, you sounded like a bunch of damned third-graders after someone sneezed “Bullshit!” into their hand during the principal’s assembly in the cafeteria.

Eat me.

Was it the wrong place to lose control? Probably. Should he have held his tongue? In retrospect, looks like it. But he was immediately Judased by his own Republican “leadership” and forced to immediately apologize to The Holy Dear Leader, and The Annointed One graciously accepted the apology. That should have been the end of it, but you want to break it off in Wilson’s ass for calling out your boy.


Have you ever watched BBC coverage of British Parliament, Jim? The British are supposed to be the pinnacled zenith of decorum, the gold standard everyone strives for, and yet in their House of Lords they actually hiss at each other, and in the House of Commons they stop just short of fisticuffs over differing views. Captain Teleprompter wouldn’t last five minutes in London. They’d eat him like bangers & mash.

And then there’s the NAACP. Fuck you, too, for turning everything into a racial issue and for playing the race card and the victim card any time someone says “boo” to a black man anymore. The head of the SC chapter of the NAACP, Lonnie Randolph, is calling for action, because interrupting Obama’s healthcare shitfest is racist. Randolph says health care is a civil rights issue, something the NAACP fights to protect.

That's right, Lonnie. Play that race card to the fullest...

Wilson's outburst also serves to continue the tone of town hall meetings on health care that in many cases have been more like brawls, Randolph said, which turns attention away from this human rights issue. Civil rights? Where in the United States Constitution did Thomas Jefferson say we had the right to free healthcare at taxpayer expense? Where in the Constitution does it say we have to provide a single solitary iota of anything to illegal immigrants who should by all rights be deported instead of being shot as invaders?

Anyone who disagrees with Obama is a racist. Poor Joe Wilson, he publicly disagreed with your Lord and Master, and he’s white, and a southerner, so he must obviously be a racist, right? Joe Wilson said “You lie”, not “You lie, you (insert racial epithet here)”. Stop playing the race card and stop playing the victim. You’ll get a lot farther.

So now they’re saying Wilson better apologize or the House will punish him….with a strongly worded rebuke. Woopty shit. That and five bucks gets you a cup of coffee.


By the way, why was it okay for the Democrats to boo President Bush during the 2005 State of the Union address? Was that racist? Of course not; Dubya was white, and therefore it’s okay to bash him and call him everything from a war-mongering babykiller to a borderline mongoloid.


And now that I’m riled up and throwing stones, Speaker of the South Carolina House of Representatives Bobby Harrell can kiss my ass too, after he quits kissing the ass of Lieutenant Governor Andre Bauer.

Harrell and his posse are baying at the moon, pissing and moaning for the resignation of Governor Mark Sanford. Sure, I gave Sanford a huge ration of shit on this blog when the news of his affair first broke, but after I vented my disappointment, I’m back in Mark’s corner for not wanting to meekly step aside for political expediency. We have all these SC Republicans calling fir Sanford’s ouster, claiming that,” The issues we have facing our state and the work that needs to be accomplished is too important for us to spend this next year bogged down with the distractions Gov. Sanford’s actions have created.”

Huh? What kind of bullshittery is this? Are you people that easily distracted? Do you have adult-onset ADD? Take a couple of Ritalin, shut the hell up, and get your asses back to work solving our double-digit unemployment problem.

Almost half the people I know, and I am NOT exaggerating, have been out of work at one time or another during the past 12 months because of this shitty economy, and all you care about is your own political asses.

What do I mean? I mean that Mark Sanford is a lame duck. His term as Governor is up about 12 months after the Legislature reconvenes in January. You people are off work till after Christmas and still getting paid, no? Well, there’s a hell of a lot of my fellow Carolinians who aren’t getting paid and who really want to go back to work. But see, most of you guys ARE up for re-election soon, and you’re shit-scared that being associated with letting Mark Sanford stay in office will hurt you come election time. You want to distance yourself from him and the supposed taint of being supportive of a guy you were all supporting two months ago. Yeah, he cheated on his wife, and that’s a very bad thing, but that’s a private matter now between the man & his wife.


The reason it’s a distracting bog-down is because you people won’t shut the fuck up about it. It could have quietly been his own private disaster after the initial public furor calmed, which was about 2 weeks later, but when sharks smell blood in the water they swarm and now there’s a feeding frenzy.

And if you Democrats out there want to keep bashing Sanford over his adultery, ya’ll best step back & check yo’self before you wreck yo’self. Last I saw, there’s been a line of Democrats cheating on wives even longer. Need I pull names out of a hat? John Edwards. John Kennedy. Bobby Kennedy. Teddy Kennedy. Gary Condit. Elliot Spitzer. David Patterson. Henry Hyde. Jesse Jackson. Gary Hart. Even FDR had a chippy on the side. And that most famous of adulterers, Bill Clinton.

I’m not saying that no Republicans have ever cheated on their spouses either (Gingrich, Livingston, Watts, etc and I’m pretty sure even Dwight Eisenhower had a mistress.). Even Thomas Jefferson couldn’t keep it in his breeches. Corrupted sexual morals abound in politics but Dems seem to have it down to something between art and science.

For once, I really gotta agree with a Democrat though. Years ago, the scariest looking human alive, James Carville, coined the immortal phrase “It’s the economy, stupid.”


Look, America, we gotta get our shit together. It is the economy, stupid. We’re so distracted by who’s banging who, and distracted by health care (only a small portion of our economy) that we’re missing the big picture. The picture of our entire economy being in the shitter while people in Washington do their damndest to distract the rest of the nation while they rapidly take over the private sector and nationalize it. In 9 months,like I aid above, the government has bankrupted children who won’t be born yet for a hundred years, taken over the banking industry, taken over the auto industry, started firing private citizens, started hiring czars to circumvent vetting and oversight, taken over the mortgage and housing industry, tried and failed to steal the Census, and now wants to start a citizens army to fight off the revolts I predict are coming.


America, I beseech thee: TAKE BACK OUR COUNTRY.

Marky Mark sez: Et Tu, Andre?

EPIC POLITICAL FAIL


So, now we here in South Carolina are hearing non-stop about how Lieutenant Governor Andre Bauer is calling for embattled Governor Mark Sanford to step down and resign. Our state’s second in command cites the media frenzy over Marky-Mark’s adulterous philandering and claiming that the state is crippled by questions over the legality of the governor's travel, which included trips to visit his mistress in Argentina.

Bauer says he tried to give the governor the benefit of the doubt after he admitted to having an affair. But now Bauer says he worries that calls for Sanford's impeachment will dominate next year's legislative session, instead of issues like the economy and job creation.

"The serious misconduct that has been revealed along with lingering questions and continuing distractions make it virtually impossible for our state to solve the critical problems we're facing without a change in leadership," he said.

What an utter load of crap.

The state is far from crippled. Last I saw, I was contending with thousands of my fellows going on with their business as usual on my way to work. Nobody seemed crippled to me. I didn’t see anyone on a street corner looking disheveled and unable to go on, inconsolable and wracked with uncontrollable sobs all because Mark cheated on Jenny and didn’t always fly coach.

Whoopty freakin' doooooooooooo! That and five bucks will get you a half-decaf Austrian goat-milk caramel mocha macchiato with double foam and just a touch of Madagascar cinnamon.

A few years back, I recall a certain President of them there Yew-nited States was found to have been getting his carrot waxed by an intern while on the phone with members of Congress and donating a skeeted-up blue dress to the dry cleaners of the local area.

The Slick One was impeached whilst a lame duck, ineligible for re-election, and was able to still stay in power, still reside in the Whitest of Houses, and his humiliated wife went on to be a Congresscreature herself and later an impotent Secretary of State who was sent on a crap errand to Obama’s ancestral Kenyan homeland, whilst Slick Willy went and secured the release of two young Asian reporter chix from Kim Jong Mentally Ill.

In plain English: Clinton was of a higher office leading 300 million people, committed his crimes inside the White House, was impeached by Congress, and was still allowed to finish his term with no more than a wrist-slap on the road to immortality. Sanford did his philandering in another country, away from his 4.5 million constituents, and after the state legislature reconvenes, he’ll have barely a year left in office.

At least Sanford has never been held at gunpoint by a cop……

According to his driving record with the South Carolina Department of Motor Vehicles, Bauer has had at least two accidents, four tickets and one suspended license for failure to pay a ticket.

On May 6, 2003, Bauer was stopped on Assembly Street in downtown Columbia for running two red lights and speeding up to 60 mph in a 35 mph zone. The officer drew his gun after Bauer got out of the car and began heading toward the officer's car in an "aggressive manner." He was issued a ticket for reckless driving.

On December 26, 2005, Bauer got a warning for speeding (77 mph in a 65 mph zone) in Laurens County, South Carolina. On February 25, 2006, Bauer was pulled over for speeding over 100 mph in Chester County, South Carolina in a state-issued car, but he was allowed to proceed without a ticket or warning.

So who’s more dangerous to South Cackalacky, the guy who can’t keep it in his pants or the guy who can barely keep it on the road? I don't condone what Sanford did, not one iota, but at least he's taken ownership of the problem.....and Bauer's just trying to save his own ass from being shut out of future political considerations by poisoned association.

Hiking in Appalachia

Way to go, Mark “Marky Mark the Megastud” Sanford”. Because of your inability to keep your Gamecock restrained within your tropical-weight Charleston khakis from some King Street haberdashery, we now have you to thank for one of the newest and latest street slang terms.

In order to stay somewhat current on what the hell kids these days are saying, occasionally a 40-year old middle-class white guy is forced to consult the online resource known as Urban Dictionary. I was at their website checking on a phrase when I noticed that their new itemof the day, added on June 27th by a user named Chatnoir80, was the term “Hiking in Appalachia”.

The site’s definition?

“To have an extramarrital affair. Stems from the disappearance and subsequent reappearance of South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford(R). Gov. Sanford was thought to be hiking in Appalachia. In actuality, he was having an affair in the South American country of Argentina.”

Used in a practical sentence:
“Girl, I just saw Susie's man hiking in Appalachia.”


And what’s this? You’re coming clean about other affairs? And you said you need to try and fall back in love with your wife? Dude, I am shocked that Jenny hasn’t kicked your ass to the curb, and I’m really quite surprised that more folks in the Legislature haven’t called for your resignation and your head on a plate.

Between your shenanigans, and that “paragon of virtue” (sic) Jim Clyburn crying racism over anyone who refused stimulus money and then getting his daughter a cushy job on the FCC (see this: http://trackacrat.com/2009/06/29/i-wants-it-daddy-i-wants-it/), South Carolina is quickly becoming a far bigger laughingstock and hotbed of idiocy than California. At least Jim DeMint and Lindsey Graham still have their senses, which is more than I can say for Boxer, Pelosi, and Feinstein.


By the way, Jim…why did you name your daughter Mignon? Sure, it’s French for “dainty” but dude…it always has, and always will be, associated with a cut of meat. You may as well have named her Porterhouse.


Even in Taiwan they know what mignon is....

Marky Mark Sanford: Bad Vibrations

Mark, Mark, Mark…you ASS.

*sigh*

I was pretty impressed when we met at The Heritage Classic a few years ago. You were cordial and took a few minutes to actually talk to me instead of just shaking hands and walking on. I’ve supported you. I’ve voted for you. I was looking forward to you seeking the nomination for President in 2012.

Now? You’re just an ass.

Ya’ll had me fooled. I was willing to believe that you were actually off hiking along the App-Trail to clear your head after a tough legislative session, like your wife and spokespeople said. I was willing to even overlook the no phone calls and no contact with your family on Father’s Day; hell, it was your day so you were spending it out in the woods, right?

When everyone was doing the Chicken Little and panicking because you were incommunicado and left no clear transfer of gubernatorial powers to Andre Bauer, I was still behind you. They were just being alarmist, said I. When the aforementioned Poultry People cried about “What if there was a hurricane or a terrorist attack? Who would call out the National Guard?”, I scoffed. A hurricane would give us a week’s warning at the very least; they don’t pop up over Charleston harbor like an afternoon thunderboomer. If we were attacked, Bauer and the Adjutant General could begin the recalls and sort it out later; better safe than sorry, right?

And now we find out that you skipped country for a piece of ass? Dude….that’s just foul. It’s one thing to go underground for a couple days to chill in the woods, hike a bit, and if the crapple hits the fan blades, we can at least get to you in a couple hours……but to skip country, nay, skip continents, to shag up on a long-term booty-call is just bullshit.


You were a potential front-runner to seek the Presidency. Now, you’ll be lucky to get appointed third-shift grocery bagger or apprentice dog-catcher in this state. On the plus side, at least you didn’t knock up some chick while your wife was dying; John “$400 Haircuts” Edwards has that dubious distinction. You didn’t shag a hooker in your black dress socks after making a name for yourself busting prostitution rings. That was Spitzer. You went to her country, so you didn’t diddle her with a cigar at the State House in Columbia like Bubba Clinton.

In a word, Mark……FAIL.

Collossal, magnitude 10, complete and utter EPIC FAIL.