Sunday, January 30, 2011

Guess Hu's Coming To Dinner?

Yeah, I know I'm late with the President Hu jokes. Been kinda busy...

I was amused to find that the All-American food menu served to Hu Jintao and his retinue on their state visit was requested specifically by the Chinese. Likely this was due to the serving of Indian food to India and Mexican food to Mexico when they visited Obama and were served upscale expensive versions of things they could eat at home. I'm surprised they were able to go an entire meal without any Wagyu; Obie & Moo probably had to sneak to the kitchen later for a Kobe Snack after Hu rolled out the front door (the side door is only for the Dalai Lama)
The Official Hu Menu:

D'Anjou Pear with Farmstead Goat Cheese
Fennel, Black Walnuts, and White Balsamic

Poached Maine Lobster
Orange Glaze Carrots and Black Trumpet Mushrooms

Wine: DuMol Chardonnay "Russian River" 2008 (California)

Lemon Sorbet
Dry Aged Rib Eye with Buttermilk Crisp Onions
Double Stuffed Potatoes and Creamed Spinach

Wine: Quilceda Creek Cabernet "Columbia Valley" 2005 (Washington State)

Old Fashioned Apple Pie
with Vanilla Ice Cream

Smart move, obeying your master's wishes, Obama-san. He can get Moo Shoo Pork any time he wants it. If he needs Wagyu, he sends a commando team to Japan to take a cow. Was it smart to pick a Russsian River wine though? They might have thought you were mocking them with a Russia joke.

Fried onions dipped in fatty buttermilk...goat cream....sugary pie....sugary sweet carrot glaze.....heavy cream drowning that healthy spinach....for shame, Moochelle. That's not very healthy. Did you scold Emperor Hu on eating healthy or did you avert eye contact & bow a lot?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

New Muslim Outreach Books & TV Shows

For the record, I have no biological children. If I did, however, something tells me I'd end up having to home school the wee little monster because of how little faith I have any more in the American public education system.

Teachers have a thankless task and I respect educators who actually educate instead of indoctrinate. I was once married to a teacher and I know how hard she worked and how much of our own money she had to use for school supplies because the district lacked funds and the student families were by and large low income and some bordered the poverty line. My ex taught in MSAD #3, the poorest district in Maine. But...

Way too many teachers are instead spending the day feeding Liberal crap to the kids, indoctrinating them with Leftist rhetoric and more or less just babysitting the kids instead of teaching them. Might explain why graduation rates suck, why kids who do graduate can barely read or do simple math and can barely find the USA on a map let alone Afghanistan. They seem more preoccupied with doing the Teacher Union's bidding and bitching about pay & benefits at the Union's behest.

The Union isn't there to serve the teachers. It's there to serve itself and it's own self-serving Liberal Leftist agenda. But that's a blog for another day. Today we have other fish to fry.

It would seem that "educators" in Minneapolis are concerned that Muslim students aren't getting enough touchy-feely Muslimness in the American public school system and that there needs to be more Muslim books and Muslim-centered literature available for this religious and social minority. I'm guessing Islamic History Month won't be far behind, where in addition to a day spent on algebra, kids will learn the fine art of bomb-making, misogynistic wife-beating, female circumcision, Shariah Law, burka wear...oh wait, that'll just be the boys learning that month because if it's Islam then the girls should just stay home since they aren't supposed to learn.

Well, I guess there's more progressive Islamic societies out there where the women can learn, and drive, and just wear a simple hijab instead of a full canvas bag burka. And in a country where 13-year old girls with a pound of makeup on flit about the mall in their Ugg boots with their asses hanging out of their Daisy Dukes and teats barely restrained by a tiny pink tee shirt, I guess Islam will need baby steps.

Katie Couric has a novel idea though. Seems that she's in a hurry to be subservient and out of a job and suggested American television needs a Muslim version of The Cosby Show to teach us about Islam and Muslim families, the way that Cosby taught us intolerant ignorant whitey crackers all about black families in the 80's. By that logic, Katie Cockroach, every black family in America lives in a posh New York multi-level brownstone, with a doctor for a father and a lawyer for a mother, perfect kids who do no wrong and really ugly sweaters all year round. Here's a clue, Katie Cupcake; I learned a lot more by growing up in a mostly black neighborhood and by watching Good Times.

Hey, I wonder if there's any black folks in there? Katie thinks so...

So, I thought it might be good if I took it upon myself to rewrite a few children's classics to better fit in with today's Liberal Progressive Touchy Feely Islamofriendly Politically Correct America. Hustle on down to Barnes & Noble...I would have said go to Borders but borders are a bad thing...

Printed on 100% post-consumer recycled toilet paper. Yummy.

Forward written by Richard Trumka.......

You read the book, now see the TV show!!!

What little girl didn't yearn to be the great sleuth Nancy Drew? Send us three proofs of purchase and we'll send you a copy of "Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Missing Prayer Rug" and "The Hardy Boys Stone Nancy Drew For Being A Girl"

And of course, we have to have the Islmocentric TV shows too. After all, it's only fair and how else are we gonna learn about Islam?

Tune in tonight as Detective Achmed severs the hand of a suspected shoplifter on Shariah Law & Order: Zionist Intent

Hilarity ensues when a daffy alien forces an 11-year old Afghani girl into his marriage bed!

Tune in as Rage Boy and Snooki hook up......and then stay tuned as The Situation and Pauly D beat her for doing so.

God is Great; Chuck Norris is Greater. Even a deity has to worship someone....

"Aw, jeez Edith, gimme a glass of date juice since beer is outlawed by the most Holy Koran...."

And this just in! Michael Moore and Sean Penn have pledged their fortunes to start an Islamofriendly movie studio on the Gaza Strip. The first offerings from Hezbollywood include the Ramadan special "It's a Fatwanderful Life", and the Al Jazeera miniseries about a band of mujahideen fighters called "Taliband of Brothers", and the following gems:

Allah Akbar, ya'll! (This one was inspired by my wife...)

Hey, Katie....would you rather we do a weekly telecast from inside your colon?