Saturday, August 29, 2009

Muammar & Fitch, maybe?

Is there a special Gap or Abercrombie store where you go to buy tinpot dictator clothes? Maybe Banana Republic? (thank you, I’ll be here all weekend…try the veal!)

I ask because I just don’t quite get the fashion sense of Muammar Khaddafi. The dude looks like total shit these days, clothes notwithstanding. It’s like he’s become the love child of Gene Simmons and Mickey Rourke, and not the 9½ Weeks Mickey, but this latest incarnation that looks like a burn victim. But really, where does MuMu get these outfits?

You’d think that a guy who’s been a dictator for some 25 or 30 years would fancy himself a General or Field Marshal, but not our MuMu…he still thinks he’s a Colonel. I’m really curious as to what all those medals signify, too. I mean, shit, did he just send one of his bootlickers to the Interwebz to buy whatever was colorful to fill up his Salad Bar?

(Salad bar…for you civilians, that’s what we military types call the rows of ribbons on our dress uniforms. Real medals are called “gongs”.)

MuMu not only has an impressive collection, but some tailor fashioned them into a cloth patch so they could sew the damned things onto everything MuMu owns. Robes? They’re on there. A leftover suit from Miami Vice? On there. And not just the ribbons, but his little Lee™ Press-On Maps of Africa. Always on there.

Look, Mooey….when you come over here to pitch your Bedouin tent in the Jersey burbs like it’s some bullshit camping trip, send that fruity-looking buck-toothed son of yours to the mall in Paramus to get you some fresher gear. I know the kid is busy getting your pet terrorist Megrahi all settled into his new Al-Queda Apartment, but let’s update the look, shall we?


Anonymous said...

Wicked funny!!!

G-Man said...

Aw c'mon dude, you know you want to have your fruit salad on your jammies too. I mean Laffy-Taffy Gadaffy has them there for a reason you know... that way "Mr. Happy" will always spring to attention when he sees them. LOL!

Vera said...

I've always wondered why Khadaffi isn't a general of Chief Supreme Ruler or something like it too.

I think the shirt with the Africas on it is slamming. Where does he get them?

blackandgoldfan said...

Great stuff! I noticed in the last pic how MuMu and MJ look an AWFUL lot alike...

Z said...

OH, God, this IS wickedly funny! I laughed all the way through.
that man is THE UGLIEST..well, that's not nice :-)

WHatever......thanks for the laughs, great, great stuff!!

Krystal said...

Dare I say it ... I think that outfit with the Africa appliques ... and the little colored thingies he puts all over his clothes to make him look important ... turn me on ... I just LOVE a man in a freakishly out of date suit with a patch on it.

Tell me where he's pitching his tent, baby!