Sunday, August 16, 2009

Has Florida been sucked ino the abyss yet?

At last, the storms they are a-comin’. We were all beginning to wonder if the Atlantic hurricane season was gonna be a bust. After all, every year they forecast doom and gloom and destruction and multiple huge named storms and the very end of the universe, and by August 1st they have to make a mad scramble to “revise” the predictions when nothing’s happened.

To hear them tell it, the entire east coast could be blown to hell at any minute...

Must be frikkin’ great to be a weatherman. You can be wrong almost 85% of the time and all you gotta do is say “Oops. The weather patterns shifted and we can’t control nature.”

The only other job I’ve seen where you can bugger it up that much and not get fired is in Congress.

Here in South Carolina, anything over a 10 to 20% chance of rain means a 100% chance. It’s gonna happen, even if it only rains for 20 minutes. Besides, when you really get down to it, every day is a 50% chance of rain. It’s either gonna rain or it ain’t; it’s 50-50.

Stephanie Abrahms, Weather Hottie.

So here we are on a hot August Sunday evening, and we have two tropical storms, Ana and Bill, bobbling around out in he ocean somewhere, and we have Tropical Storm Claudette off the coast of Tampa and fixing to dump all sorts of rain on western Florida.

Over at NOAA, they all breathed a sigh of relief as finally some storms started brewing and they no longer looked like a bunch empty pocket protectors and slide rules who couldn’t read the radars. And over at The Weather Channel, they all have a collective hard-on two yards long because they now get to break out the cool blue & black rainjackets and stand out in the rain with their soaked hair all mussed by the 50 mph winds, telling us how bad it all is.

Jim Cantore and his All-Powerful Rainjacket

Regardless of how many storms we do or don't get, they'll all be blamed on the Republicans and Global Warming...


Steve: The Lightning Man said...

As post-script to this post, 10 minutes after I put it up, Chris texted me to let me know that tonight was RAging Planet night on Discovery Channel, with LIGHTNING coming up next, followed by HURRICANES at 9 and then FLOODS.

Hell yeah, even the 'Scuvvery Channel is in on it!

G-Man said...

Stephanie Abrahms, WOW! ;-)