Friday, February 9, 2007

We Gotta Talk

Hi…I’m a successful Navy O-6 Captain at only 43 years of age. I’ve flown over 30 different types of aircraft, and 7 months ago I was in space…OUTER SPACE…and in a few weeks was headed back again for another mission. Then again, my marriage just ended and I think that this Air Force chick is trying to skeeze on the dude I like. I guess I should talk to her……signed…Lisa Nowak….

MEN: PAY ATTENTION & HEED MY TEACHINGS---Very seldom in my nearly 38 years of experience has anything good ever come from the 4 words “We need to talk…”. These words usually preface a very miserable time.

Lisa Nowak just wanted to talk. She wanted to talk so badly that she drove 950 miles wearing a fucking diaper so she wouldn’t need to stop to piss. She wanted to talk so badly she pepper-sprayed her intended talking partner and was found to have a BB pistol, a folding knife, 4 feet of rubber tubing, trash bags, latex gloves, a steel mallet, a trench coat, dark glasses, and 600 bucks in cash. Jeffrey Dahmer didn’t carry this much shit with him in his Go Kit.

Beware the next time your woman just wants to talk. Keep the search party on standby.

1 comment:

jms1 said...

The best part of all- found in a black garbage bag in the back set were two USED diapers! Crazy bizz-natch was in such a hurry she couldn't even take an extra five seconds to drop her used nappies in the trash can when she stopped for gas! Or hell, toss it out the window along the highway, especially on a bridge where it'll fall into a large body of water and never be seen again...

Not that I advocate littering, but come on- that's gotta be better than driving halfway across the country with that smell coming up from the back of the car... like I said, that's one crazy bizzo.