Animal Cops Walterboro: Episode 3 On Location in Charleston

On today's episode, we leave the comfy confines of Walterboro and go to the Big City lights of Charleston, specifically the exciting locale of Veteran's Terminal of the State Ports Authority, Building 207...

Whilst outside warming up this morning, I saw this little greyish brownish nugget slowly scuttling across the parking lot and went to investigate. Turns out it was a rather lost-looking wee fiddler crab, perhaps 2 inches across maximum. He looked a tad pathetic out there.

Fearing that my little crusteacean friend would get eaten by a passing gull, run over by a passing truck or forklift, or roasted by the sun, I opted to rescue the little bugger and carry him over to this marshy boggy grassy creek-like area across the lot. While possibly not the most perfect venue, it was by far better than where he was.

Crab rescued. Mission accomplished.

En Garde! The actual crab in question in my parking lot.

Animal Cops Walterboro, Episode 2

On today’s episode of Animal Cops Walterboro, instead of rescuing a wee orange kitty like we did last time (see my October 2007 archives), we get a little less domesticated and a little more wild in our speed bump rescue efforts.

The last thing I expected to see in the middle of a busy Highway 17-A on a Friday night was a large black lump that started walking. Granted, he wasn’t walking very fast, because the speed bump in question was a pretty good-sized snapping turtle.

The u-turn this time was at least legal, but no less speedy since at 7PM on a Friday night, 17-A is pretty busy and how this dude managed to get to the very middle of the road was a testament to this little fella’s fortitude and luck.

I scooped him up and got him to the side of the road, where two other cars had also stopped to see if he’d make it. I snap-decided to run him to a more turtle-friendly environment, and so into the empty trunk of the car he went. He had air, and since the trip was only three miles in duration, he was only going to be in the dark for a few minutes.


He was heavier than I expected him to be, about 15-20 pounds, and holding him out in front of me so that if he peed it wouldn’t get on my t-shirt made for a very long hundred-yard walk from the parking area to where we released him. He lay there in the grass, very still, for a few minutes until we walked away, and just as we were almost beyond visual range I saw him walk towards the water and safety.

Cletus the Turtle is now residing in the main swamp pond of the Great Swamp Sanctuary in Walterboro.

Rescue complete, animal relocated safely, mission accomplished.

ANIMAL COPS: WALTERBORO

You never know when you’ll be given an opportunity to do a good deed.

Last night, the wife and I had to make a WalMart run for the weekly grocery stockpile, and since she’d worked till 11PM, we didn’t even get there till almost 1AM (watching the end of Game 3 of the World Series delayed our departure) and it was almost 2AM as we left.

We had just pulled out onto the main road and started to accelerate when Crys jerked the wheel to the right and said “Holy CRAP!” I had been in La La Land looking out the window and wasn’t quite sure what we’d almost hit till she said “Did you see the little kitty in the road?” No, I hadn’t…

We quickly did the world’s most illegal u-turn and pulled back towards the cat, who was sitting smack in the middle of the traffic lane. I just wanted to get him out of the roadway so he wouldn’t end up a little roadkill smear. He turned and started to run back towards the woods, but as soon as he heard my voice saying, “Go, little kitty!” he turned around and ran straight towards me with the most pitiful mewling I’ve ever heard. I scooped him up off the road and the poor little thing started to purr and meow and nuzzle me. I thought I’d melt right there.

Here’s where it gets complicated.

I am a HUGE cat person. I’m a complete and utter sap for kittens. This guy was MAYBE 8 weeks old at the most, a little orange male tabby, nibbling at my fingers and talking to us, trying to climb my shoulders, and I simply couldn’t leave him in the roadway, so I jumped back in our car. The problem? Crys is highly allergic to cats. We tried to have a cat once, and once he hit about 7 months old & started to shed more, she broke out in WELTS. Some folks get hives; these were swollen to enormous welts, and in very inconvenient spots too. Her lip would swell up, or her eye would almost swell shut; it looked like I was beating her. Finally the cat was given to a friend, and the swelling went away immediately.

Now what?

We started driving, and all the while my new fuzzy buddy was trying to eat my fingers and crawl all over the car. Crys is in a near panic, expecting any second now to erupt into anaphylactic shock and swell up like a Zeppelin, and we’re trying to determine what to do. After a quarter mile we decided to run him over to our friends Cori and Robin, who were the only people we could think of who would take in a stray cat and who also might be up at nearly 2:30 AM. They recently had lost a kitten to a pit bull and this little guy could be a suitable replacement.

Sure enough, they were more than happy to take my little charge under their care. He was quickly fed, devouring a plate of food, and he curled up in Robin’s lap to sleep after exploring a bit. The little dude never stopped purring once the whole time. I think he was already socialized to people, since he showed no fear of us and was more than ready to crawl all over us, and he was already weaned. However, a busy roadway is no place for a half-pound kitty and now he has a safe & happy permanent home. He’ll get a once-over from a vet in the next couple days and best of all, I retain visitation rights. Having been rescued next to Wally World, he’s now been christened, of course, Wally.

I’m a regular viewer of all the Animal Planet rescue shows, based in Houston, Detroit, Phoenix, and elsewhere. I’ve wiped many a boo-hoo off my cheek while watching those shows. I’m looking right now at a sleeping Dachshund sprawled on my couch who was a shelter rescue last Christmas. That little dog is just the coolest. So be careful as you motor around town. That little speed bump up ahead could be an adorable little buddy in need of rescue.