Come out, come out, wherever you are...

As is my wont, every year I celebrate my gay friends (or as I prefer to call them, friends) on National Coming Out Day. You are who you are, and I wouldn't have you any other way. For some of you, coming out was easy and painless. For some of you it was painful and difficult. Some of you did it early on and some waited years. Some of you may still be waiting. Today is as good as any, you know...

This past week, the Supreme Court of the United States basically gave a tacit nod to same-sex marriage by deciding not to hear five cases concerning same-sex marriage, pretty much legalizing it in 30 states. Here in South Carolina, Probate Judges in several jurisdictions began taking applications from same-sex couples, but our state Attorney General blocked the licenses from being issued. Seemingly there was nothing better to spend taxpayer money on than pursuing legal action to keep people from marrying. I'm sorely disappointed in the AG, and I voted for the man.

Recently, a friend got married to the love of his life. They did it on a trip to New York City, not because of the romantic setting but because their home state of Florida doesn't recognize or allow for same-sex marriage. They could have opted for what is called a Holy Union but even though it won't be legally recognized at home they wanted something more, and why shouldn't they?

Here in South Carolina, voters amended the state constitution to specifically state that marriage is between a man and a woman. I voted against that. Despite my generally conservative and right-wing leanings, I fully support same sex marriage. Many of my friends are gay and are married. They have perfectly normal and wonderful, loving marriages. Many of them have been married a lot longer than I have.

Look, this isn't the first time I spoken out in favor of same sex marriage. If you're against gay marriage, don't have one. In no way, shape, or form is my marriage put in jeopardy by a gay couple tying the knot. The sanctity of marriage isn't ruined by same-sex marriage. That sanctity is instead ruined by people who take marriage way too lightly. However, we celebrate when the rich and famous hetero community ties the knot, despite the fact that celebs like, say, the Kardashians or Pam Anderson, or even iconic figures like Liz Taylor or Marylin Monroe, have 30-day marriages or collect spouses like some people collect stamps, but that's okay because they're hetero. Presidents like JFK or Clinton are no better, bordering on serial adultery while in office and making a mockery of both their marriages and the solemnity of the Presidency, but hey, they're straight so it's okay. But we deny the simple right of a marriage to same-sex couples.

The Kardashian Marriage Farce Fest:

Kris Jenner--Divorced first husband Robert Kardashian after 13 years, married Bruce Jenner a month later. Currently divorcing him after 23 years.

Kim Kardashian--Famous for making a sex tape. Has no other discernable talents. Married in 2000, filed for divorce in 2003. Married again in 2011, filed for divorce 72 days later. While awaiting divorce, gets knocked up by Kanye West. Currently married to West after a wedding that would have bankrupted most third world economies.

Kourtney Kardashian--On again, off again relationship with father of her 3 kids. They've not married.

Khloe Kardashian--Married in 2009 a month after meeting, filed for divorce in 2013.

Many who are against same-sex marriage say marriage is one man and one woman married in a church under the eyes of God. This has me wondering....if you folks reading this agree with that definition, then am I actually married in your eyes?

Some of you would frown upon the fact I am divorced, as is my wife. For this second marriage of mine, I was not married in a church, either. Rather, we got hitched in front of the plantation mansion at Boone Hall during the annual Scottish Games in full kilted regalia. I was not even married by a clergy member. My friend Jackie, a notary public, officiated. Our self-penned vows were not the traditional religious-themed vows found in most ceremonies. As part of the ceremony we did a Celtic hand-fasting (gasp! a pagan rite!) and we jumped a broom afterwards (gasp! More heathen rituals!)

So, by everyone's strict definition of marriage, I must not be married, despite that scrap of paper I had to quickly sign afterwards to make it legal? After all, it's that precious scrap of paper that everyone seems to need as proof of being married. So, seemingly, marriage is but a legal contract that binds us together as opposed to some religious ceremonial bugaboo.

But Steve, them awful homosexicals are an abomination against the sanctity of marriage betwixt man and woman and they make baby Jesus cry.....

Look, the Christian Bible is chock-a-block FULL of spurious forms of traditional Biblical marriages.

But Steve, if we alter the definition of marriage, who's to say people won't try to define marriage as a man and two women, or a man and a chair, or a man and a dog or a car, or that you can marry little kids? 


 It's already been done, people. In 2009 a Tokyo man married a video game character and a woman married a roller coaster. In 2007 a woman married the Eiffel Tower. Men have married life-sized dolls. A woman married a dolphin in 2005. In Islam, Mohammed was 51 and married a 6 year old. Muslims marry kids all the time.

How about we define legal marriage as being between two (2) consenting adults of legal age of majority regardless of gender, race, or religion? Works for me.

And before you Liberals out there pounce on the Right and start laying the blame our way, it was serial adulterer William Jefferson Clinton, President Slick Willie himself, who signed the Defense of Marriage Act into law.

That alone should nullify it.


It's 2014, not 1014. Come out of the Dark Ages.

Am I actually married?

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, do ducks marry?

It's been funny watching everyone spin outta control on social media the past week or two, verily a pantheon of whirling dervishes losing their collective minds.

The reason?

The Supreme Court is hearing arguments about gay marriage. My friends on both sides of the equation are foaming at the mouth. Those in favor of it all changed their profile pics on Twitter and Facebook to pink equal signs. Those against all started spouting Bible verses and called for boycotting Starbucks for supporting gay marriage.

I'm all for boycotting Starbucks, but not over gay marriage. I simply refuse to pay nine effing dollars for a cup of coffee.

I agree, but for VASTLY different reasons.

If you've followed me for awhile, you'll know I've written about gay marriage and my support of gays in general more than just a couple of times. Try here, here, here, here, here, here, or here, for starters.

Many of my compatriots and peers in the conservative ranks disagree with my stance on same sex marriage. In fact, this Dr. Ben Carson fellow that seems to be the new conservative darling on Twitter, has said that as far as he's concerned, marriage is one man and one woman married in a church under the eyes of God ( I paraphrase. I looked for an exact quote on what I heard on the radio & couldn't find it). This has me wondering....if you folks reading this agree with that definition, then am I actually married in your eyes?

Some of you, die hard Catholics I guess, would frown upon the fact I am divorced, as is my current wife. For this second marriage of mine, I was not married in a church, either. Rather, we got hitched in front of the plantation mansion at Boone Hall during the annual Scottish Games in full kilted regalia. I was not even married by a clergy member. My friend Jackie, a notary public from the UK, officiated. Our self-penned vows were not the traditional religious-themed vows found in most ceremonies. As part of the ceremony we did a Celtic hand-fasting (gasp! a pagan rite!) and we jumped a broom afterwards (gasp! More heathen rituals!)

So, by everyone's strict definition of marriage, I must not be married, despite that scrap of paper I had to quickly sign afterwards to make it legal? After all, it's that precious scrap of paper that everyone seems to need as proof of being married. So, seemingly, marriage is but a legal contract that binds us together as opposed to some religious ceremonial bugaboo.

But Steve, them awful homosexicals are an abomination against the sanctity of marriage betwixt man and woman and they make baby Jesus cry.....

Look, your Christian Bible is chock-a-block FULL of spurious forms of traditional Biblical marriages.

Remember, that Old Testament lets you have slaves and concubines, too. Hooray, Bible!

And as for the sanctity of marriage, let's look at, say, Kim "Sex Tapes" Kardashian, famous for, of course, making a sex tape that launched her faux reality empire. She's currently embroiled in a nasty divorce case while carrying some other dude's baby, namely noted asshat Kanye West, who now thinks he owns her. It was NOT her first marriage, either. That's pretty sanctified. After a 55-hour "oopsie" marriage to an old friend, Britney Spears married a guy who had left his pregnant babymomma to marry a meal ticket. Two kids later they split up and she melted down. Pretty sanctified.

Actually, she FILED for divorce 72 days later. Her "husband" is contesting it saying she conned him.

Remember, even here in America, Land of the Free, wives were once property. Speaking of alleged property, slaves had to get permission to marry. Up until the civil rights movement, marrying outside your race was illegal. So, seriously, people; get with the times.

One of the people who spoke to the Supreme Court was Edith Windsor, an 83-year-old New Yorker and widow who married her female partner in Canada, a marriage also recognized by the state of New York. She had been with her partner Thea Speyer in a committed relationship for over 40 years. Sadly, Thea passed away in 2009, two years after they married. Windsor now seeks federal recognition of their marriage so she won't have to pay $363,000 in estate taxes because the federal government does not recognize their marriage as valid. A survivor in a heterosexual marriage would not have to pay this tax. This simply is not fair or right.

Thea and Edie

You may recall back in 2009 when I wrote about my friend Paul, who was stuck dealing with the financial mess surrounding the medical practice and estate of his partner of over 14 years, Gervais Frechette. Paul was stuck holding the bag for all the bills without the survivor benefits or recognition a heterosexual survivor spouse would enjoy. Again, this isn't right.

And before you Liberals out there pounce on the Right and laying the blame our way, it was serial adulterer William Jefferson Clinton, President Slick Willie himself, who signed the Defense of Marriage Act into law.

That alone should nullify it.

Maine votes on gay marriage

Most people say they’re for equality, so long as everyone conforms to what they believe in…

Well, whattaya’ know? It’s Election Day. Perhaps the Republicans will score a few victories today and begin the march towards 2012. I know that’ll sit pretty poorly with my liberal friends, but hey, most everyone knows I’m a conservative. If not, they do now.

Up in my former home state of Maine, voters are today deciding on whether to overturn their law allowing same-sex marriages. I sincerely hope that Maine’s voters vote “No” on ballot question 1 and keep marriage equality for all Mainers. I’m sure that’ll sit poorly with my conservative friends, but hey, everyone knows I’m okay with gay marriage.

In fact, I’ve written about gay marriage, or at least mentioned it, a few times in the past:
http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2009/06/didja-know-june-was-gay-pride-month.html
http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2008/06/just-legalize-gay-weddings-already.html
http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2007/10/i-hear-that-train-comin-its-comin-down.html
http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2007/05/some-stupidness-from-news.html

and my two posts for National Coming Out Day:
http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2008/10/happy-national-coming-out-day.html
http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2009/10/happy-coming-out-day-2009.html

Does this make me gay? Not hardly. I’m a devout heterosexual who happens to have gay friends and supports those same friends. You don’t catch the Gay Cooties, and hanging out with homosexual friends doesn’t turn you gay. That’s absurd. Just because a cat has kittens in the oven, that don’t make ‘em biscuits.

Does this make me Anti-Marriage? Not at all. That’s also absurd. I’m such a fan of marriage that I’ve done it twice. Didn’t quite get it right the first time, but I’m rather enjoying it the second time around.

Does this make me Anti-Family? No. I have a family, so how can I be against families?
Does this make me Anti-Christian? Possibly. I’m not gonna start stoning you in the street or beheading you on streaming internet though. I would prefer to say I’m more along the lines of Anti-Forcing-Your-Religious-Views-On-Everyone-By-Saying-God-Will-Send-You-To-Hell.

Face it, good Christians; with one face you espouse this notion of forging a personal relationship with God and that this Christian God is loving and forgiving and understanding and all-knowing and infallible, and with the other face you tell people that God hates them and they’re going to Hell.

Mmmm’kay…did the Lord whisper this in your ear via a burning bush that these people were hated? I mean sure, you interpret that from the book you like to thump about at your convenience, but hey, aren’t there verses in there too that could be interpreted as promoting slavery, too?

If God created these gay people, why wouldn’t He love His creations? Why would God hate something He created? Seems silly to create something you know you’ll hate, no?
And about that “personal relationship with God”? If homosexuality is so sinful that it earns you a ticket to Hell, then really shouldn’t that be between God and the gays themselves? Why do YOU have to mediate? Their salvation or lack thereof is between them and their chosen deity. You, as a mere mortal human, cannot bestow salvation or damnation upon anyone’s soul so stay out of it. To think otherwise, to think that you have the right to keep two consenting adults from declaring their love and receiving the same rights, privileges, and burdens that heterosexuals enjoy by mere virtue DNA programming, is folly. One could even argue that it is sinful, in that in your own prideful conceit you have the right to judge and thus withhold from another the right to marry.

Here’s a clue: they’ll still be gay whether you let them marry or not. Next you’ll be establishing Gay Gulags for forced hetero reprogramming or extermination should they fail to be what you want them to be.

And, to summarize, here’s a paraphrase of something my friend Wil wrote today on Facebook:
“A man who is notorious for cheating on his wife was featured on TV in front of a Catholic church (rallying) to Protect Marriage. Check your closet for skeletons before making such a stand. Marriage involves a lot more than just two people being married. It involves love, honor, compassion, equality & trust. That's grounds for ex-communication from the Catholic Church as well. And as a former Catholic, I can promise that Jesus Christ would never condone the use of his words or his Father's words as a way to judge, belittle, and/or segregate people. Shame on you! All you need is love!”

Didja' know June was Gay Pride Month?

Careful, you might catch the Gay Cooties.....
(Special thanks to Mark at Slap Upside The Head for the pic)

Being that this is, or at least was until recently, basically a free country, people are entitled to their opinions and to their own personal belief systems. Often times those opinions will clash with the opinions of others. Most of the time my opinions and feelings on matters are shared by my fellow conservatives, but there’s one viewpoint that I have that often gets an askew glance and raised eyebrow from my contemporaries. I support my gay friends, and being that June is Gay Pride Month, I didn’t want to let the month go by without a mention.

As always, it pains me to put people in the Tool Box that I once championed. However, when you’re being a dick, I gotta call you out.

Samuel Wurzelbacher, the Ohio man hailed as "Joe the Plumber" by John McCain's presidential campaign last year and castigated and crucified by the liberal media for daring to question The Annointed One B-Hussein-Obama, said a month or two ago that he believes gays are "queer" and said he won't allow them near his children.

"People don't understand the dictionary -- it's called queer," Wurzelbacher told Christianity Today in a recently published interview. 'Queer' means strange and unusual. It's not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we're supposed to do -- what man and woman are for."

He added, "I've had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn't have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they're people, and they're going to do their thing."

Those so-called friends probably think you’re a dick, too. And they probably aren’t your friends; they’re just people you know who haven’t yet kicked you in the balls out of politeness.

Look, man, people can’t help who and what and how they are. Some people are just gay. And I guess some people are just uptight religious types who use their chosen deity as a crutch and a shield to stay closed-minded. (Remember, I’m a conservative for the most part but I have an open mind—see http://www.mojosteve.blogspot.com/2009/05/defining-my-blogs-philosophy-for-my.html)

If indeed the Christian God is so horribly offended by homosexuals, and God created everything and everyone, then why does God create homosexuals, thusly creating something He hates? Why doesn’t God strike them down and smite them to the Earth as abominations? Sounds like bullshit to me. Keeping your kids away from gays as if they’ll catch the Gay Cooties or some such drivel is just that: drivel. Keeping your kids away from gays doesn’t keep them from becoming gay, either. By that same logic, do you keep your kids away from blacks so that they don’t become black or catch blackness, or away from white kids so they don’t become white or catch white cooties?



Keeping your kids away from something that’s different from what you personally don’t believe in just keeps them from understanding differences and only serves to perpetuate the prejudice. You’d be better served by explaining things to a kid the best you can, so they can understand and respect that people are different and let them make their own choices as they mature.

And if God really does have a problem with it, then that’s really between the gay couples and God, isn’t it? If there’s some evil vile sin been committed, then I guess the Big Reckoning will occur at Judgement Day, no? I do believe that somewhere in that Bible my fellow conservatives love to thump, there’s a quote about letting he who is without sin cast the first stone…and trust me, so many of you live in glass houses that ya’ll best not have a gravel driveway nearby. That, or you best have stock in a glass company.



And while I’m already up on my Big Gay Soap Box…

A couple more states recently began allowing gay marriages, and it’s about time. However, no one can say for certain how long the statutes will stay in effect since every time I turn around some state or other that had previously recognized same-sex marriages overturns the laws and makes it illegal again.

I already covered gay marriage once before. Go see: http://mojosteve.blogspot.com/2008/06/just-legalize-gay-weddings-already.html

Maine is one of the states that recently allowed same-sex marriage, so when my dear friend Wil finally finds the right guy, maybe I’ll get a wedding invite. But for another dear friend of mine, it’s too late now.

My friend Paul has had a really hard time dealing with the death of the man who would legally have been his husband had they been allowed to marry in New York state. His partner, a prominent doctor specializing in reconstructive plastic surgery, tragically passed away this past October at 47 from sarcoidosis that he picked up breathing in all sorts of toxins helping people out of the rubble on 9/11. Helping the same straight people who wouldn’t grant him the same rights to marriage that they themselves enjoyed.

Because of the 9/11 connection to his disease, he was unable to get life insurance. While he was a doctor and they lived a somewhat privileged lifestyle, things have been extremely rough without any life insurance benefits or legal rights.

In Paul’s own words:

“Because we weren't "married", we were not allowed over 1,400 rights afforded
"married couples". After my husband died, I couldn't even go to the morgue to
identify his body. I had to wait till his family arrived from Montreal to go with
them to do this. Can you fathom this scenario? I have NO rights what so ever
regarding his estate and things that belong to me can be taken away by creditors.

The family has not yet named me the administrator of the estate, which has left me in a terrible situation. Everyone is calling me about bills but I have no authority to do anything, and he was MY HUSBAND of 14.5 years.

I could go on and on but I don't have the time right now as I'm closing down our
new, magnificent office that we just built together in NYC.

I'm responsible for credit cards that were his, but he named me as a secondary cardholder, BUT they can't tell me details of the accounts as I'm not his "spouse". “

It’s bad enough that my friend lost the love of his life, but the nightmare won’t end for him because he has all the trauma and drama, but none of the rights that help attain closure or at least ease the situation.

I’m not saying that you have to conform to my opinions on these matters. You’re all entitled to your opinions and beliefs. Last month the media and the world at large was bashing Miss California for not kissing Perez Hilton’s ass and saying she was okay with same-sex marriages. She believes that marriage is strictly a male/female thing. That’s her opinion, and last I knew it was still a free country. But I hope she would be open to civil unions at the very least so that there can be fair access to health insurance, life insurance, and survivor benefits.

Life is too short to deny people the same freedoms that you enjoy as a heterosexual, based solely on the fact that they aren’t. Be a little more open-minded about things.


In memory of Dr. Gervais Frechette, MD 1961-2008

Just legalize gay weddings already...

The past couple weeks, there’s been all sorts of news about the legalization of gay marriages in California. I can’t even keep track anymore of what states allow it and what states don’t. Some states said okay and then overturned it later on referendum votes. Some states allowed it and then a judge overthrew it and others said no and were overturned by other judges. Here in South Carolina, there was a referendum vote last year on the state defining marriage as one man/one woman, which we both voted against, and the measure passed anyways.

You want my opinion? Let them get married. Why should all of you get your knickers in a twist over whether gay couples want to get married? In a world where over 50% of all hetero marriages end in divorce, are hetero couples any better at being married? Maybe we should make it harder for hetero couples to get married? We might not botch it up so badly if we have to work a little harder at it.

Right now, all we have to do is pay for the license and find an official. Hell, any idiot can do that. There’s no test, no class, no real requirements to get this license. To get a hunting license you have to take a class. To get a driver’s license you have to take tests both written and practical. To get married? Fog a mirror. And to get divorced? Apply for legal separation, wait a YEAR, and pay an ass of court fees and associated rigmarole, and then get set free. It’s harder to end it than it is to start it, by far.

But really, why not let gay couples marry? It’s hard enough to find someone you can say you want to spend the rest of your life with, so why deny that to people who just don’t do it they way you see fit? I knew these two guys in Maine, Scott and Paul, and they were a great couple. They’d been together 25 years when I met them. Twenty five years. I didn’t even make it past 5 years with my first marriage. Those guys had a 25-year commitment to each other, and were never allowed to formalize it. That’s a damned shame. Let gay couples have the same tax breaks and tax penalties that straight couples have, and the same pains in the ass for divorces too. Fair is fair after all.

If you’ll let gay couples adopt, and gay couples to have kids via artificial insemination, doesn’t it make sense to allow those same couples to marry and share insurance benefits and survivor benefits and social security benefits? Stop imposing your own morality on the situation for a minute and let people be happy and be married.

So many people start waving their bibles at this question and try to quote scriptures and what not. Well, here, let me quote some right back at you. Judge not, lest ye be judged. If indeed gay couples, and homosexuals in general, are supposedly something against the will of your God, then they can work that out with God when they die, right? Who appointed you the arbiter of God’s will?

And quit trying to tell me they have a choice, because I think that’s crap too. People can’t help who they are hard-wired to be attracted to, no matter how much you try to say they can. I am not hard-wired to be attracted to long-haired women who are a size zero; Daddy likes a lil’ meat with his taters, and I really prefer short hair on women. By and large, the majority of women I have dated have been between a size 12 and 16, buxom, and had short hair. That’s how I’m wired. So, to tell me I should just all of a sudden abandon my genetic predisposition is absurd. The same holds true for my gay friends. They like who they like, and I’m cool with that. You can’t help who you fall in love with.

So if you’re gay, and you live somewhere where they allow marriages, I’m happy for you. If you live somewhere a bit less, shall we say, progressive, I feel for you.

I hear that train a-comin', it's comin' down the track...

I wanted to make sure the marriage lasted the weekend before I started laughing TOO hard.

Pamela Denise Anderson Lee Anderson Lee Anderson Ritchie Anderson…who married Tommy Lee the first time after knowing him for 96 hours and made sex tapes with him that were “stolen and leaked”, and who had a 5-month marriage to Kid Rock (Bob Ritchie), has now married Rick Salomon, who was married to Shannon Doherty for 9 months and is probably best known for marketing his own sex tapes with Paris Hilton.

They got married in between Pam’s performances in Vegas as the eye candy for Dutch magician Hans Klok, no less. This is all so delightfully white trash that it practically writes itself. Tommy Lee & Kid Rock just had a fistfight over Pam at the MTV VMA Awards, and now she goes & marries a fellow amateur porn star. Considering their collective pasts, the government in Baghdad is more stable than this marriage.

These two are single (or double?) handedly turning marriage into a farce, yet no one wants to legalize gay marriages? Why is it that pretty much all the gay friends I have are in stable long term relationships but can't get married, and straight couples treat marriage like it's just something cute to do on the weekend after one too many Red Bull & Jaeger shooters?

Some stupidness from the news

I pulled some stuff from today's USA Today. I'm a news junkie and read/watch the news daily, usually morning, at dinner, and before bed.

The city council of Eureka Springs, Arkansas has agreed to create a domestic partner registry. Effective next month, same-sex and unmarried couples can pay a $35.00 fee for a document proving their domestic partnership. Opponents of the measure say it violates the state’s ban on gay marriage.

What the fuck? No one’s talking gay marriage, you ignorant backwoods Bible-thumping cretins. It’s a simple domestic partnership arrangement. Are you saying the unmarried heterosexual couples who are documented under this measure are married too? Last I knew, marriages were ceremonies performed by the clergy or by a justice of the peace. This is a registration document.

I may be mistaken, not being a Biblical scholar and all, but Adam & Eve didn’t have a preacher to perform a ceremony with witnesses, so were they married? And if they spawned the human race out of wedlock, then they were in the wrong for doing so, the vile sinners.

In Woonsocket, Rhode Island, a criminal simple assault charge was dropped against a woman accused of driving her daughter, who was serving a suspension from school, to the local middle school so she could fight another classmate. The classmate’s mother also became involved in the fight, according to police. The other mother refused to testify against the first mother, so charges had to be dropped. Perhaps it was the embarrassment of looking like a complete dumb ass that prompted the reticence to testify? This just proves that trailer trash don’t just come from the South.

And noted dickhead Congressman William Jefferson of Louisiana says an FBI raid last year on his office was unconstitutional and wants his seized material returned. His lawyer claims that while agents looked for documents related to a 16-month long international bribery investigation for allegedly accepting $100,000.00 from a telecommunications businessman, they also examined records related to Jefferson’s work as a legislator.

Sorry, pal. If the warrant was written correctly, then the agents could look anywhere that evidence could reasonably be ensconced. If I’m looking for papers that implicate someone, those papers could very well be hidden inside of other, more innocuous records and not in a bright red folder marked INCRIMINATING FILES.

You may recall that Representative Jefferson was the douchebag who commandeered a National Guard convoy to during the Hurricane Katrina rescue efforts to run him to his house so he could retrieve $90,000.00 hidden in his freezer.