Sunday, September 26, 2010

Palmetto Pelosi Protest

Hey, who's that guy in the blue shirt and loud shorts on the right? Top pic is from the newspaper's website, and I even got on TV....

Well kids, I finally popped my protest cherry. Many of you out there are long-time veterans of protests and tea parties and Glenn Beck events but I hadn't been able to attend anything up until now. Sometimes living 50 miles from the city, way out in Clyburn Country, is a detriment to my political activities. Often anything held during the week, like the Tax Day protests, occurs smack dab in the middle of my work day. Or, since my hours moved to starting at 4AM (which has me getting up at 2:30AM) the events would start several hours after I got off work, leaving me with the options of finding somewhere to nap in my car or getting home so late that I'd have to just walk in & go to bed, or going home, coming back, and then driving home again after the event, burning much gas in the process.

Well, yesterday provided me finally with a golden opportunity. My wife worked an overnight on Friday & would be asleep all day, and the group of fellow patriots would be meeting
in downtown Charleston at 1130 AM. I could scoot down, do the event, and make it back before she even missed me. So I got up earlier than I wanted to, washed the mobile unit (she'd been looking sorely neglected...hard to see the blue through the dirt) and rolled out.

Her Unholiness, Madam Speaker Comrade Pelosi, was in town to beg money from a couple of groups. Her first stop was some res
taurant I'd previously never heard of called Fish, nestled next to an art gallery on the very tony upper King Street block. Nope, no Denny's for her. Her later event was to kowtow and grovel at the feet of the NAACP, co-headlining with none other than Shirley "Am I Fired Or Not?" Sherrod. Turns out the park we were scheduled to meet at was the site of a Green Fair this weekend, so we looked a skosh conspicuous with FIRE PELOSI signs amidst booths full of vegan tofu wraps, hemp sacks passing for shirts, eco-friendly this and sustainable that, and lotsa good old fashioned capitalism geared towards Marxists. How ironic.
Getting set to march down the block. Such a menacing bunch we were...

We walked on over the the appointed place at the appointed time and peacefully & rather quietly held signs aloft in the roasting noon sun. We weren't hurling hate speech or throwing rocks or harassing passers-by & shoppers. If you get that many Liberals together in one place at the same time, they'd have looted 3 shops & set a car on fire in the first 6 minutes. We received hundreds of waves and toots
of car horns from people agreeing with us. Some old dude crossed the street to ask us what we were doing, said he was a Democrat, crossed the street again, and proceeded to flip us off from safety. That's okay,'re number one with us too.

Several very bored and disinterested Charleston city cops milled about nearby, I guess waiting for us to start tossing Molotovs and rampaging about. The simpering owner of the art gallery, rather than ask any of us, instead skulked across the street to complain to the local constabulary and have them come ov
er & ask us to not stand in front of his shop. I guess we might have been keeping his tens of customers at bay.... Dude, in this economy who's realistically coming in to buy your overpriced representations of quaint antebellum Chucktown and impressionistic LSD-fueled hallucinations on canvas?

Every so often we'd put together a few chants o
f "Hey Hey Ho Ho , Pelosi & Reid & Obama must go" but we're not really the chanting types. Instead what could generally be heard was the insults being yelled by the sole, single counter-protester across the street. Yeah, all the Left could muster for Pelosi was one guy, later identified by the newspaper as a Daniel James, standing in front of a shop with "Closed for Business" on the windows, holding a scribbled cardboard sign in a mop handle that said "She is smarter than all of you----God" and busily texting on his iPhone telling all his Liberal buttbuddies to look for him on the news.

Seriously? I mean, seriously? Hey, you in the flip flops....she said we had to pass a bill to find out what was in it. She called illegal alien
s patriots. She said her favorite word is the word. She thinks the fastest way to make jobs is by issuing unemployment checks. And she's smarter than all of us?

Rather than face us, Nancy was hustled in the back door. I guess there weren't enough TV cameras about for her to wave us off with her Speaker's gavel like a cudgel. Enjoy it now,'ll be FORMER Speaker soon enough.

And hey, City of Charleston....thanks for deploying at least three cops and a drive-by supervisor to watch fewer than 30 people stand in front of a restaurant peacefully, and then say nothing to the guy across the stree
t hurling insults and trying to agitate a response from us. We were gone in just over an hour and I'm sure someone had vegan donuts over at the Green Fair. Besides, the park was full of bikin-clad sunbathing College of Charleston tarts and we were keeping you from dutifully patrolling the grounds.


jay son said...

that's pretty cool, 'cept now the feds got a recent pic of you for the files. are you wearing a tigers hat?

Steve: The Lightning Man said...

No...actually it was a Red Sox hat.